Things people do in law school that piss me off...

1). People think they're smarter then Professor's and feel the need to try and show it off in class. I'm sure a lot of people are smarter then Law Professor's, but you probably are not in the subject they teach. When you've had multiple book deals you can act like an ass all you want.

I'm not for Professor worship or anything like that, but do people really think this does anything other then annoy the Professor and other students, while wasting class time. If I wanted to hear your opinion on something I'd probably talk to you after class.

2). My long ass breaks where all I do is:

• Blog 8 times a day
• Read blogs
• Talk on AIM
• Blare music on my headphones

All while uppidy law students stare at me as if I should be doing something more productive. Hey, someone has to fill the center of the curve-you should be nice to me and thankful I'm willing to take one for the team the way I do...Maybe next time you see me out skipping class you should buy me a drink-did you ever think of that?

3). The fact that my classrooms and the library are so cold I have to wear fingerless gloves and look like a friggin hunter or some stupid sh*t. Whatever, at least I have my pink ones on today.

4). People who don't know what the "MUTE" button on their laptop is.

5). People who talk on their phones in the MIDDLE of the library. Me blaring my headphones is one thing, and me taking an emergency call while in the middle of the books is another thing. I'm talking about the moron who is having a conversation at full volume in the middle of the area where people study. Seriously, if I can hear you over my headphones you are TOO loud. If I'm annoyed I'm surprised the uppidy students who glare at me haven't thrown anything at you yet.

UPDATE: Right after I posted this I walked out of the library and stopped in the court yard to have a cigarette and I realized one more thing (when I was directly confronted with it):

6). People who wear 2 back-packs, one on their back and then one on their chest. IT'S CALLED A BACK-PACK PEOPLE!!! Furthermore, I saw a girl doing this, does she KNOW how unflattering that is. I literally almost stopped her to tell her she takes law school WAY too seriously. She had 2 HUGE back-packs, both about to explode. I honestly do not know even know how she had THAT many books. She was probably carrying around her books for Winter semester-just in case she had any free time-so she could get ahead on the reading and outlining.

It's not like I don't carry 2 bags, I do. I, However, have a theory that there are only 3 acceptable ways to carry 2 bags:

• Laptop case over the shoulder (i.e.-a messenger bag) and a tote bag for books (this is the approach I take)
• Laptop case over the shoulder and a back-pack (ON YOUR BACK)
• Back-Pack case for the laptop and a tote bag.
  

Notice how NONE of the acceptable methods include carrying 2 of the same type of bag (I'm looking at you kid who wears two over the shoulder bags in a giant X on his chest). Nor do any of the acceptable ways contain a rolly bag-they're annoying and loud-not to mention a pain in the ass on the stairs from what I can gather.

Note on my blogroll:

I try to update it as frequently as possible and I try to link to sites that link to me (I also link to blogs that I read even if they don't link to me). If I realize someone is linking to me and I don't have a link I generally check out their site and if it's good reading I'll add a link (just because you link to me and I haven't linked to you doesn't mean I didn't like your site-it probably means I haven't realized you link to me since I don't think I haven't added a site yet).

That said, if I've missed you let me know...I'll check out your site and most likely add a link. I read all the blogs I link to, since I:

1. Like to know what's going on with people are nice enough to read my blog
   
2. Like to know what I'm recommending
3. Usually people who link to me have WAY cooler blogs then I do anyway

In a completely unrelated note: I'm sorry for having such a negative tone the past few days. I have been dealing with a lot of stuff, all of which is my own fault, and therefore I've been being extremely hard on myself and I'm kinda down.

In short: I'm not getting along with my family, my personal life is f*cked up, and with everything else going on I'm having trouble tricking myself into thinking law school isn't that bad (I'm also realizing I'm kinda screwed in at least 2 classes)-which makes me more bitter.

Hopefully it'll all blow over and I'll manage to get over my boy troubles, but until then expect overly sappy posts as my version of therapy.

"You've gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely"

I'm listening to Like a Rolling Stone in the library right now (i.e.-skipping class); with everything that's going on in my personal life, my instabilty and doubt regarding my future something about the song really hit me. I started to tear up. (Seriously, I know I'm lame).

I don't know what it is, tomorrow is my interview and I had finally started to feel like I might actually find work, yet I still feel completely lost and I'm not really sure I made the right choice when I decided to come to law school.

I really think the only thing keeping me here at this point in time is my student loans and knowing I'd never be able to repay them on the salary I'd make with my degree from undergrad. Plus, I feel like I've made it this far so I might as well stick it out.

I guess if I do get this job maybe I'll really like it and my faith in my decision will be renewed. If I don't like it (or I don't get it) I guess I can just join the peace corps for a few years (so they'll forgive some of my debt)-it's always been a dream of mine, but I've never had the balls to do it.

Note to Self:

You can cancel the Botox appointment.

I went to 4 bars yesterday and bought a pack of cigarettes-I was carded each time. I was so excited since lately I have not been getting carded for cigarettes at all, and rarely been getting carded for alcohol.

Apparently law school hasn't aged me as much as I thought it had.

It's official...

I have THE MOST unhealthy relationships with men in the history of the world.

I'd like to thank my father for our extremely disfunctional relationship setting the standard for the fucked up relationships with all other men.

It wouldn't be SO depressing if I had any idea how to stop it. But, at the age of 22 it seems that I'm just destined to have unhealthy relationships with men for the rest of my life. Sometimes it's because I pick the wrong men, sometimes it's because I'm not honest with them, sometimes it's just not meant to ever work out, sometimes I drive them away, and sometimes it's a combination of 2 or more of these elements.

I've really begun to think I mess up relationships on purpose so I don't have to actually get close to anyone.

If only I hadn't quit seeing my shrink because "she annoyed me" and "wanted to talk about my negative features too much." I'm sure she'd tell me I do sabotage relationships as a way to keep myself at a distance, in an attempt to assure I don't get too emotionally attached or hurt-but what the hell does she know?

I've never

My fellow blogging blonde wants to play I've never, I'm SO game...(To play, just cut & paste the list to your blog, and bold any of the ones that are true.)

• smoked a cigarette
• crashed a friend's car
• stolen a car
• been in love
• been dumped
• shoplifted
• been fired
• been in a fist fight
• snuck out of your parent's house
• had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
• been arrested
• gone on a blind date
• lied to a friend
• skipped school
• seen someone die
• had a crush on one of your internet friends-this one depresses me.
• been to Canada
• been to Mexico
• been on a plane
• purposely set a part of yourself on fire
• eaten sushi
• been jet-skiing
• met someone in person from the internet-this one also depresses me
• been moshing at a concert
• taken pain killers
• loved and missed someone
• made a snow angel
• had a tea party-how sad is it I've never had a tea party!
• flown a kite
• built a sand castle
• gone puddle jumping
• played dress up
• jumped in a pile of leaves
• gone sledding
• cheated while playing a game
• been lonely
• fallen asleep at work or school
• used a fake id
• watched a sun set
• felt an earthquake
• touched a snake
• slept beneath the stars
• been tickled
• been robbed
• been misunderstood
• petted a reindeer/goat
• won a contest
• run a red light/stop sign
• been suspended from school-I have had in school suspension
• been in a car accident
• had braces
• eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
• had deja vu
• danced in the moonlight
• liked the way you looked at least at one point in time
• witnessed a crime
• questioned your heart
• been obsessed with post-it notes
• squished barefoot through the mud
• been lost
• been on the opposite side of the country
• swam in the ocean
• felt like dying-I went through a phase when I was really depressed.
• cried yourself to sleep
• played cops and robbers
• recently colored with crayons
• sung karaoke
• paid for a meal with only coins
• done something you told yourself you wouldn't
• made prank phone calls
• laughed until some kinda beverage came out of your nose
• caught a snow flake on your tongue
• danced in the rain
• written a letter to Santa Claus
• been kissed under the mistletoe by your boy/girlfriend
• watched the sun rise with someone you care about
• blown bubbles
• made a bonfire on the beach-lots of other bonfire thought
• crashed a party
• gone rollerskating
• had a wish come true
• worn pearls
• jumped off a bridge
• ate dog/cat food
• told a complete stranger that you loved them-uggg, more trouble.
• kissed a mirror
• sang in the shower
• had a dream you married someone
• glued your hand to something
• got your tongue stuck to something
• kissed a fish or a frog
• sat on a roof top
• screamed at the top of your lungs
• did a one handed cartwheel
• talked on the phone for more the 6 hours-close thought
• stayed up all night
• not taken a shower for a week-I had a surgery and I wasn't allowed to...low point in my life!
• picked and eaten an apple right off the tree-I have done so with a pear
• climbed a tree
• had a tree house
• admitted you are scared to watch scary movies alone
• believed in ghosts
• had more than 30 pairs of shoes at the same time-try right now!
• worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others would say
• gone streaking
• gone dingdong ditching-???
• pushed into a pool/hottub with all your clothes on
• been told you're hot by a complete stranger
• broken a bone
• been easily amused
• caught a fish
• caught a butterfly
• laughed so hard you cried
• cried so hard you laughed
• laughed so hard you pee your pants
• cheated on a test
• had or do you currently have a Britney Spears CD
• forgotten someone's name
• french braided someone's hair
• been kissed by someone you didn't like
• gone skinny dipping in a pool /lake
• been threatened to be kicked out of your house
• been kicked out of your house

"I've spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes!"

How bad is it that earlier tonight I found a pair of shoes I brought this spring in my closet as I re-organized and I had completely forgotten I even bought them. They are literally BRAND NEW.

The sad part is they're sandals so they'll have to wait until next spring to make their debut (unless some handsome gentleman sweeps me off my feet and takes me on a tropical getaway this winter...ok, stop laughing, I get that I won't be wearing them until it's warm again-but a girl can dream).

The even sadder part is that 2 of my favorite pairs of shoes are M.I.A.-at least they're sandals so I know I have time to find them.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Crazy Fun Weekend...

Friday I got an interview (I seriously screamed and jumped around for 20 minutes since I have a really good feeling about it). I took my new suits to get the sleeves shortened and then I went and bought a new shell (ok I bought 2) to wear under the grey suit I'm going to wear to the interview Wednesday. I got a red one and a dark fuchsia one (super cute).

Sadly, I realized, I can't tell the story about how I ended up coming home in a police car on Friday. I can tell you that I furthered that whole "cops hating lawyers" thing by refusing to take a breathalizer and telling the cop who was trying to give me one that he was just trying to trick me so he could give me a drunk and disorderly citation (and trust me-I did so ever so nicely). Once he explained that I wasn't getting a ride home unless I took said breathalizer I obliged (and blew a PRETTY high BAC-despite my claims of having had only one glass of wine).

So, I was driven home by a cute young officer. I knocked on the glass and made him open it so I could harass him and tell him that I was the most exciting run he was going to have all night (he argued that I would be the most boring-but I knew better) since I was positive that nothing exciting ever happens in the afluent suburb I call home.

Saturday, the gay husband and I went shopping...I did a TON Of damage (pictured below-along with my green shag carpet-Did I mention my room hasn't been re-carpeted since the 1970's?).




As you can see I got:

1. A FABULOUS pair of black pumps from Aldo
2. A light pink scarf with glittery strands
3. A scarf with really cool yarn loops at the end and matching convertible mittens (so my hands don't freeze in class)
4. A new Until There's a Cure bracelet
5. A keychain with my initial on it (not pictured)
6. Leather Protectant from Aldo (not pictured)
7. Body Scrub, Intensive Conditioner, Lip Gloss, Concealer, and 2 colors of Eyeshadow Base from Origins-Origins also gave me tons of free samples!

I still haven't gotten over the tragic footwear situation that occured before I bought the ones that I did (actually I was going to get both pairs). The other ones were also from Aldo; black with a pointed toe, 3'' stilletto heel, a strap over the top of the foot which buttoned with a pink button and PINK piping (which perfectly matched my "Legally Blonde" suit). The real kicker was that they were on sale for $20. Apparently some large footed wench returned them (they only had size 11-a real problem since I wear a 7 1/2)...They were part of the fall 2003 collection-but they were amazing.

Saturday night I celebrated a 21st birthday of a good friend and I might have actually had a higher BAC then what I blew on Friday night.

Today I revised my resume, attempted to get some reading done, took a nap, re-organized my shoes, and cleaned out my closet.

All things considered-an awesome weekend. Let's just hope I get this job so I can afford all the stuff I just bought.

I got you babe...

To the person who "drafted" me to sing Karaoke tonight against my will:

1. If you're going to make me sign Sonny and Cher "I Got You Babe" have the balls to get up there with me-thanks to E. Patrick for singing with me.
2. Anyone who actually wants to hear me sing is seriously disturbed (which we already knew), but I still did better then you did so whatever.
   
3. I know who you are despite your denials.
4. I also saw you steal my cigarettes-I don't know which one I'm more pissed about-so you better watch out.
5. I have pics and video of you singing so as soon as I find a place to host the video you can bet your ass it's going on the internet.

Random Note: Despite barely being 22 years old I realized tonight that I'm getting old. I left karaoke sober at midnight and when I got home I just had a terrible headache (really I've had it since I got to the bar)...Whatever, at least I still have my tolerance.

Thursday Linkage

Bear chase leads to Marijuana Bust.

The worst part is that arguably the smartest living thing involved in the story was later captured and killed.

Tanning Bed Story

This morning I once again forgot my parking card (I switched purses and I still have to yet to take it out of the one I was previously using) , so, again I had to stop and make an ATM and purchase something so I'd have change. Today I purchased a pack of Citrus Mint Orbit Gum (It's seriously delicious).

As a result of my love for this gum I've been chewing it compulsively, and as I popped in a piece after my cigarette break in Constitutional Law II I noticed the rate as which I'd been chewing it and was reminded of a girl I knew back in undergrad. One night when I hung out with her she bought a pack of Bubble Gum and proceeded to chew all 6 pieces compulsively, explaining that if she has gum she cannot control herself and she HAD to chew it immediately; plus, she would only chew it when it still had really strong flavor.

We'll call her "Carly*," I met her in my German 2 class and always thought she was extraordinarily annoying. She was in the business school (read: She was taking the class for fun instead of to fulfill her language requirement) she was also what I have come to call a "gunner," but in the days before Law School I hadn't ever heard the term. My "special male friend" and I used to make fun of her mercilessly. When the class ended I was extremely happy because I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with her again...I was wrong.

That semester they introduced a special 8 credit course which combined German 3 and 4. I was so sick of the stupid language by that point in time that the special male friend and I decided to take it simply to be done with our language requirement. Carly, decided to take it because intensive german sounded fun to her.

Now, if you've never taken an 8 credit class, you wouldn't know how horrible an idea it is. Let me tell you, even if you LOVE the subject matter it's a lot to deal with. The workload for this class was actually lighter then I expected and it was still too much, even for those students, like Carly, who enjoyed the subject matter.

Midway through the semester Carly shed her gunner ways, started slacking, and we became fast friends. My special male friend had always predicted she was wild**, but I never believed it.

One Monday Carly came in looking particularly hungover and started unloading about how crazy her weekend had been. It was the first time she'd ever done so (it was usually me talking about drinking and doing stupid things that I undoubtedly regretted later). The conversation that ensued went something like this:

Carly: I think I'm still hungover from Saturday, I got so wasted at this Pub Crawl back at home.

Elle Woods: (Interested) Ohh yeah, how'd that go?

Carly: Well, we went to like 6 bars, but I only remember the first 3 and then I do remember part of the after party. I went with this guy that I'm not really interested in...OHH MY GOD Elle, it was so bad.

Elle Woods: (Really Interested) WHAT HAPPENED?

Carly: (Details drinking a ton of alcohol for a girl her size)

Elle Woods: So, what's so bad?

Carly: Well, so after the Pub Crawl we all decided we wanted to party more and my date owns a gym so he invited us all to go back there since they're a sauna, hot tub, and he keeps a fully stocked bar in his office.

Elle Woods: So what happened?

Carly: So, I was WASTED and I ended up having sex with him.

Elle Woods: That isn't SO bad, who hasn't used bad judgment when they were drunk before?

Carly: I had sex with him on the tanning bed at the gym, I don't even remember it. I woke up Sunday morning in the tanning bed, REALLY sunburned*** and naked. In the morning he told me I propositioned him and then after we were finished I kicked him out and told him to turn on the tanning bed.

Elle Woods: Are you serious? (Holding back laughter)

Carly: Do you see how sunburned I am, do you think I would make this shit up?

Elle Woods: (Laughs histerically) Yeah, I guess you do have a point.

*Her name was really Carly.

**I really believed it after we took her to Canada for my friends 19th birthday and within 5 minutes of getting into the club she was GRINDING (we're not talking regular grinding people, we're talking straight up sex on the dance floor) with some european guy (she had a big thing for european guys in general-hence the german classes, I later found out that she also spoke french, spanish and italian fluently).

*** Which she was.

Politically Incorrect

As I've mentioned previously, I'm a little disenfranchised with liberals, and part of it is because Political Correctness seems to be taken to extremes and it drives me crazy. Today, I was in the library killing time before Constitutional Law II and I got into a random AIM conversation with The Dude which cracked me up, as most politically incorrect thing do these days.

Elle Woods: Ann Coulter

The Dude: she's right again

Elle Woods: i agree with her more and more these days

Elle Woods: she's been calling for GW's head

The Dude: yeah i took the bush sticker off

Elle Woods: WHOA

The Dude: yeah replaced it with a kwame one

Elle Woods: i parked next to you today

Elle Woods: i did not notice that

The Dude: yeah it's the kwamemobile* now

Elle Woods: i think you just like making me crack up in the library

The Dude: got the windows tinted

The Dude: listen to JLB all the time

The Dude: spinners

The Dude: dead hooker in the back

The Dude: whole nine yards

The Dude: wear a doo rag underneath my hat

The Dude: which is now turned sideways

*His car had previously been called "The BushMobile"

Guys only want girlfriends who have great skills!

A talent of my mom's was mentioned by the Gay husband the other day...In case you don't feel like reading that particularly long post I'll tell you what it is. She can stand on her head and drink a beer*. Now, I only actually seen this trick performed once (albeit at a young and fragile age), but trust me-it's pretty impressive. It's definitely more showy then just doing a keg stand.

It got me thinking about "skills" I have, and whenever I do that I think about a conversation that I had with "The Dairy Queen"** in which we realized that in addition to my mom's cool trademark move, her mom's was putting her fist in her mouth.***

It was at this point in time that the dairy queen and I confessed to each other that we could both also fit our fists on our mouths****. That's right readers, my secret talent is being able to put my entire fist inside my mouth.

*For those of you who are interested in teaching yourself said trick, my lovely mother says the trick is drinking out of the wrong side of the glass. My mom also says it's a GREAT way to get someone to buy you a beer, since nobody believes you can actually do it they always take the bet. (This is also where my mother points out that it's a great way to pick up men and/or flash them by "innocently forgetting" to tuck in your shirt...Yeah, this is what I was working with people-it's a miracle I turned out as well as I did so let's not be too harsh when I do stupid stuff).

** My Best Girlfriend-I also have a "Tastey Treat" Nick-Name but it corresponds to my last name (her's does too-hence why it's so cool) so I am choosing not to divulge it here-but trust me, mine is EVEN cooler-so if you really want to know it e-mail me.

***This was also around when we realized we were doomed.

****To all the men out there who insist I show them this trick as soon as they hear I can do it: STOP! That is annoying.

Exchange of the Day

As my boss was talking about how the man she was having lunch with tends to use a lot of "colorful" language.

Boss: He's even worse then you are.

Legally Blonde: Yeah, I am a bit of a sailor...That's kinda funny since I get sea sick.

Best In Show

I've convinced the Gay Husband to start blogging, so in his honor I'm posting our Random AIM conversation from last night about the raising our love child.

Legally Blonde: i'm sure when we have our love child it'll be good too
Gay Husband: you don't think that will make us feel older?
Legally Blonde: no, because we'll be like keeping up with a little kid...do you know how much energy they have?
Gay Husband: i thought you would be doing all the keeping up, and i would just have to be present so that he/she/zie has a masculine influence
Gay Husband: (i'm hoping she)
Legally Blonde: well, fair enough
Gay Husband: haha, i figured you were going to challenge that
Gay Husband: at least the masculine part
Legally Blonde: well, i was thinking my brother could also be a masculine influence
Legally Blonde: plus, i don't really care if she has a masculine influence
Gay Husband: haha
Gay Husband: honey we have to be careful that our child does not develop with preconcieved notions of gender normity
Legally Blonde: such as? being too femme?
Gay Husband: for one
Legally Blonde: well, that is where my brother can help a bit
Gay Husband: i wouldn't want her to feel she can't participate in sports
Gay Husband: or do other masculine things
Gay Husband: i can't really think of any at the moment
Legally Blonde: i could so teach her how to play softball andbasketball as well as how to golf and ski
Legally Blonde: i would let you handle swimming...since you are better, but i could also teach her that
Gay Husband: honey, i've got swimming
Legally Blonde: haha
Gay Husband: and your brother had better not try to intervene
Legally Blonde: haha
Gay Husband: clearly i am actually trained in it
Legally Blonde: he is not a good swimmer, it's kinda funny to watch him since he's such a good diver
Gay Husband: and clearly i can teach her to cook and sew
Legally Blonde: yeah i can teach her to make "special" brownies
Gay Husband: and your mother can teach her to chug a beer while standing on her head
Legally Blonde: HAHAHA, i'm trying to think of other skills i have
Gay Husband: i can teach her how to work with animals
Legally Blonde: HUNNY! You get all the fun stuff
Legally Blonde: and you don't even want her
Gay Husband: i would def have the better job for when they have those elementary career fairs
Legally Blonde: i'd be like "well handled your parents divorce"
Gay Husband: all the kids always love the veterinarian
Gay Husband: you can explain to her why her mommy and daddy are not married
Gay Husband: or sleep in the same room

Finally, a curve that works in my favor*

I happened upon this post about the hottness curve law school girls are placed on.

Law school women are nasty. Hence, my friend Eman has provided me with a suitable mathematical equation for describing the relative hotness of a legal hottie in comparison to the rest of the female kingdom.

Law School Rating formulat = 2f(x) - 2 = relative hotness

Hence, the average girl at law school is rated a 5 on the normal curve.

So the gross adjustment of f(x) squared would render our legal non-hottie a much more tolerable rating of 8 when one does the simple math. 2(5) - 2 = 8. (sic)

This quite possibley makes Reese Witherspoon the hottest rated woman in the history of male ratings. Given that Reese, star in Legally Blonde, was probably a 9 on her own merit. Given some law school affirmative action on her ratings her rating would jump to an astounding 16. Reese is off the charts.

Witherspoon mathematical model of hotness yields 2(9) - 2 = 16.

*Other then my own curves of course, which work in my favor daily.

Quote of the Day

While "Professor Falls" was talking about why laws prohibiting sodomy are attacking the act itself but have been justified based on societies problems with homosexual lifesyles:

Let me get at this Backwards.

Myself and maybe 2 guys laughed, and they only did after I put my head down I was giggling so badly.

To the man on the yellow bicycle,

Thank you for giving me a "holla" this afternoon from the bicycle that you rode down the middle of the road in front of the law school. Your skills handling that bike (that was far too small for you I might add) as you turned completely around to continue to "holla" at me were spectacular. I was especially impressed that you were able to keep it up for over a block while giving me a coy smile and pagent waive. I was in a pissy mood and while usually this type of thing annoys me, today it made me laugh.

Forever Yours,
Elle Woods

Samples from my Notes Today:

Employment Discrimination:

Cannot be a disparate impact if it’s just that your sample is full of dumbass women who sucked at taking the stupid test; when in reality, had you tested smart women there would not have been a disparate impact.

It's sentences like this that make me wonder if I'm even a liberal (but that is a whole different post-as I realized today that while I like the ideas the Democratic Party stands for I'm generally sick of them and most other liberals).

Constitutional Law II:

After "Professor Falls" said he had it on good authority that a member of the Supreme Court is gay:

Who is the gay on the Supreme Court?

(For the record that was the only note I took for the first 90 minutes of class-ADD was in FULL effect.)

With notetaking skills like this I can't hardly believe I had trouble when I sit down to outline.

"Welcome to Detroit City"

I was going to post about how shitty it was that I:

• Had to get up at 6:00 a.m. to drive my brother to school (how did I ever survive high school?)
• Got only 3 1/2 hour of sleep
• Forgot my Student ID card (which I use to pay for parking and being that I had no cash I had to make a detour to a gas station to make and ATM and buy a Sugar Free Red Bull)

But had those things not occured I would never have gotten to take this picture:

My car was literally HOT as I drove past it (granted I did get pretty close since I made a right turn around it essentially). The Craziest part was that nobody was really acting all that shocked about it. Everyone was just going about their day, giving it a quick glance as they walked past or waited for the bus.

I'm seriously doing anything to avoid reading...

Which means I'm checking my sitemeter (and blogging for the 87th* or so time today). I rarely do so because I'm lazy/know I only get about 60 hits a day/don't really care, but I came upon this-which is awesome!

Someone asked me how far down I was on google if you searched for "Legally Blonde" this weekend and I had no idea (don't even bother checking-I'm not on the first page and who really ever looks beyond there?), but now I can officially say "I'm #5 if you search on MSN for 'Legally Blonde.'"

I would like to point out that said person pointed out (in an effort to cheer me up after essentially pointing out that my blog isn't as cool as his) if you search for "Legally Blonde Blog" my profile is right at the top-so if the stalker finds out the name of my blog he will be able to find it pretty easily. (I can also be found at the very top by doing a google blog search for Legally Blonde-but that isn't very surprising, now is it?)

Stalker bonus fact: He has my phone number. This has AWESOME written all over it. He already left me the longest voicemail I've ever gotten, so shall see what other crazy things he does-since let's be real, you KNOW he's going to...I think the song proves that.

*Is it weird that when I throw out a random number to embellish that I've done something a lot in one day I ALWAYS throw out 87? Ok, that's a bit of an fib. I sometimes say "A-Fin-Nit-Tee" (a la-Napoleon Dynamite) but that's not exactly throwing out a number.

Highlight of my Day...

Driving down the road and seeing that the brick was being put onto the building (to the right, it's not pictured here) and that the sign was up for the new Lodge (which will have alcohol-the current one just has beer and wine). I had to turn around and snap a picture of it.

Man, I LOVE my camera.

Taking Pictures While Driving is Safe

I can't really figure out what would possess a person to put an MSU and U of M flag on their car but this moron did. My brother pointed out that maybe they have children who go to both schools, but in that case wouldn't you just not put a flag on at all?

One thing is for sure, I started singing:

Hail to the Victors Valiant,
Hail to the Conquering Heroes,
Hail, Hail!
To Michigan, the leaders and best!
Hail to the Victors Valiant,
Hail to the Conquering Heroes,
Hail, Hail!
To Michigan, the Champions of the West!

Why my Mom is Funnier then I am...

She cleverly changes Matthew McConaughey's name to:

1. Matthew McHunk-aughey
2. Matthew McHot-aughey

This started years ago when talking about him and to this day I laugh whenever I hear it. I was forced to buy the special yearly edition of Cosmo that focuses exclusively on Men because of pictures like this:

Let the Rain Fall Down*

Because of this weekends focus on "Coming Clean" about things I wanted to come clean to you, my readers, as well...

Recently, with the change of the seasons, I opted for a slightly darker hair color. Technically, I'm no longer "Legally Blonde," but I still act the part so the name still fits. And, fear not, eventually I will get bored/realize blondes really do have more fun/or the weather will change back to sunny, and I will have blonde tresses once again.

*Yes I did just quote Hilary Duff, you got a problem with it?

Why Blog?

Lately, as more and more people find out I've been blogging I seem to be dealing with the question of "Why do you blog?" more and more.

I'm not really even sure who reads anymore so my initial justification of wanting to keep friends who had moved away informed doesn't really hold up. So, I got to thinking. All I could really come up with was that I'm narcissistic and I like that people read what I have to say (despite excessive grammatical errors, generally poor writing, and WAY too many parenthesis...I'm sure everyone is wondering how I even got into law school given my lack of ability to post something without spelling errors/typos/etc).

I often think of Blogging as very therapeutic-but really I think it's just that it's a forum where I can exercise my narcissism without criticism and I enjoy that so much I find it therapeutic.

There is also that I like to tell myself I'm funny (when in reality, deepdown, I know that the only person who ever finds this blog humorous is me-but whatever, I'm narcissistic and don't really care).

In the vein of indulging my "telling of stories that only I find funny" today I was talking to a friend about naming children (and how I had named the little boy next door-Matthew Thomas, if you're interested), and the sorts of names I enjoy the following conversation (roughly) ensued.

Me: I really like the names Oliver and Olivia for kids.

Friend: I like Morgan, for girls.

Me: Yeah, and I like Caleb and Connor.

Friend: Those are names yuppies give their kids.

Me: I have a Caribou Coffee Card on my keychain, I am a yuppie...I also like Gwendolyn.

Friend: What is with people getting into old-timey names, how about Gertrude.

I don't know why, but I thought it was the funniest thing I've ever heard...I doubt any of my 4 readers even cracked a smile. I appreciate that I have any readers any more since I'm not too sure I'd still be reading (but then again for all I know all my original readers are gone).

mmm...Toasty!

The other day I was talking to Mike from Barely Legal and what I was going to get for lunch came up.

Me: I'm having a Quizno's craving...I think I'll go there*.

Mike: I love Quizno's, what do you want to get?

Me: I don't eat red meat, so I'm limited to Turkey and Chicken when it comes to lunch meat.

Mike: Yeah, I really only like turkey.

Me: I ALWAYS get the Turkey, Bacon, Guacamole. Normally I would not eat bacon but it's SOOO good.

Mike: Yeah I always get the Classic Italian.

Me: That isn't Turkey.

Mike: Yeah I know, I always mean to order something else and then when I go to order "Classic Italian" always comes out...I don't even like it.

Today I SWORE I was going to try the Cabo Chicken, but I pulled "a Mike" and "Turkey, Bacon, Guacamole" just came out when I went to order...Ohh well, at least it's a sub I like.

*I did not end up going to Quizno's, I went to Potbellies because it was more on the way to where I was going.

SAY CHEEEEEEESE!

I just bought this digital camera. I am going to pick it up in the store tonight!

I don't really know anything about digital cameraa and what makes them sweet so I just followed my neighbors advice and got one with 5 megapixels and what I thought was a pretty good zoom. Really, I got it because it is "ultrathin" and it'll fit into all the mini purses I carry much better then a less expensive bulky one with the same features.

I'm sure now we'll all have photos to look forward to!

I also got the leather carrying case and memory stick upgrade...Apparently I think I'm a baller who can spend money as if I'm not on a budget.

UPDATE: The camera is SOOO cool. It's even smaller then I thought it was and the case way cuter then most camera cases! I'm so excited about my purchase!!!

Update...

Not that anyone cares about this at all or even wants an update but it's my blog and I'm choosing to be nerdy.

In the Nation Building Game I'm playing my country is shaping up like this:

UN Category: Left Wing Utopia

Civil Rights: World Benchmark (how awesome is THAT)

Economy: Fair

Political Freedoms: Superb

• I'm up to 9 Million People
• The tax rate went down to a 30% average progressive tax
• All Drugs are legal
• People are free to do whatever they want with their bodies-so college students sell their kidney's (that was an unintended consequence)
• Surveillance Cameras are banned
• My economy is now dominated by the IT field
• Tariffs have been abolished

Things are shaping up just about how I had expected.

"The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs."

This morning I read about the UNICEF Belgium Smurf Commerical.

I'm shocked, I'm doubting something like that would even make it onto the air here. Although it's just violence and we all know kids can watch as much violence as they can-we have to worry when they see a nipple though.

I really want to actually see the commercial...I suppose I could put my "Germanic Language Skills" to good use and look around the UNICEF Belgium website-but that would be kinda annoying.

Why I'm a Nerd...

My friend (with minimal convincing) has me playing a Nation Building Game.

It's fun, you answer 20 or so Political questions and a nation is created and then everyday you get "issues" to decide on which shape your nation. So far the description of my Nation's status is:

UN Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists

Civil Rights: Excellent

Economy: Developing

Political Freedoms: Superb

The People's Republic of ElleWoods is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its absence of drug laws. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 5 million love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government devotes most of its attentions to Social Welfare, with areas such as Law & Order and Defence receiving almost no funds by comparison. The average income tax rate is 34%, but much higher for the wealthy. An almost nonexistent private sector is dominated by the Automobile Manufacturing industry.

Crime is well under control. ElleWoods's national animal is the English Bulldog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the Snap.

We'll see how this develops.

Have you ever wondered what I would look like as a Lego?

Well, thanks to Blonde Justice and this website you don't have to wonder any longer.

And since I'm too hungover to do any school work, yet not sleepy enough to nap yet; you get the benefit of seeing what I look like doing all sorts of different things.

Here I am last night at the bar with an appletini and a cigarette (I wish I could also have a microphone since I definitely sang karaoke with the 1L's last night):

Here's me at school making a phone call (realistically I'd also have a cigarette):

Here's what I'll look like tonight at the Weezer concert singing with them on stage:

Here's me in my new suit looking professional with my palm pilot:

Here's what I look like as a Superhero (I'll let you decide if you think I'm really a superhero or it's just a costume):

In case you were wondering (and I know you are):

• Yes, I do wear a tiara all the time.
• Yes, I do have angel wings. (But I can tuck them neatly under my suit jacket and you don't even notice them).
• Yes, the boobs are to scale in the picture of me at the bar.
• Yes, I was disappointed that there were no high heels.
• No, I do not wear the shirt of the band I'm going to see in real life-that was just for dramatic effect.
• Yes, I do have on pants with my superhero outfit but they're being blocked by my shield. Ok, they're not really pants so much as they they are bright red underwear.
• Yes, smoking hazardous to your health; especially when you're a lego on account of being plastic.

Law School Urban Legend

Well we knew it would happen sooner or later...I'd have to Eat my words about how law school is fantastic and splendid and how I don't actually hate it. I thought it would take to November for this to occur but I'm already doing it on October 6th*.

Anyway, the point here is that I'd like to address a myth. Everyone tells the 1L's that "It gets better after first year." Yeah, that my friends, is just that, a MYTH. While picking your classes makes it a little better by the time you're out of 1L year you've blocked so much of it out that really the rest of law school is just as bad. Particularly since you're sitting there going, it's going to get better soon, and it doesn't. You get better at skimming cases and you learn which Professors you have to read for, but really it still sucks.

As I sit in the library killing time blogging rather then doing something useful like, ohh I don't READING FOR TAX, blinded by my caffeine withdrawl because it takes a Venti White Mocha with an extra shot of expresso (yes, 4 expresso shots in the mornings kids) I'm realizing that I had to leave my house an hour and 15 minutes before my 9am class started and i'm cranky and I hate law school and I refuse to read right now.

I've already missed over 1/2 my alloted absences for 2 of my classes and the others I have no idea how many I'm allowed but I'm sure I'm getting close. I've used 1/2 my "Don't call on Elle Woods" notes in employment discrimination and we're not exactly 1/2 way through yet. So basically, to sum up, I'm going to be bitching about school a lot in the near future.

In exciting news:

• My family has left town and I've got the whole house to myself.
• Tonight is Karaoke Night with the law students-drunken singing and a generally embarassingly good time will be had by all.
• Friday is the Weezer Concert!
• I'm going to the homecoming football game on Saturday and Partying at the Alma Mater that night!

*(SHHH! It's really been my feeling since the end of September but I've been hoping it was a phase-but no I'm sure of it now...LAW SCHOOL SUCKS!)

Office Hours can be fun

The other day I stopped by my Taxation Professor's office hours. I had missed class and I sit in the very front so I decided to stop by and explain to him and ask him a couple questions I had while I was there.

On his door is this picture of him with at least 50 trophies in front of him. I had to ask him what they were for.

He casually responded, "Ohh, they aren't mine...I did win a trophy once. Tennis. Doubles. My wife is very good...I'm not."

Next he launched into a story about the origin of the trophies.

Apparently, his son (a Senior at my alma mater) bought them on e-bay for a great price (and then had to pay $60 shipping). His son bought 65 trophies (most of them dance related from the description my professor gave). He described how they came unassembled and in 6 huge boxes and how confused he and his wife were when they got there. Yet, he did not describe why his son had decided to make such a purchase.

Of course, I couldn't resist asking why he bought them.

He explained that his son likes to give out trophies to people for random things, and in addition to that he likes to hold events and give out trophies. He creates new plaques for the trophies and hands them out. Apparently last weekend he hosted paddle boat races, and of course, presented the winner with a trophy.

My Professor told me all this like it was the most normal thing he'd ever heard, I don't know if that is what made it so funny for me or if it was just the story in general.

Stalker Q & A...

Well, I'm done with my reading for tomorrow and I'm sitting here listening to C-SPAN. Reading CNN and apperently I also cannot stop blogging. So I'm going to answer the questions I got from readers about the Stalker.

Mo's Questions were:

1) Since he follows you everywhere and sits beside you most of the time, does he actually TALK to you or does he pretend nothing's going on?

• Yes he does talk to me. He tends to even come up and talk to me when I've snuck outside (to avoid him) and do things like smoke in peace as I like to do. He types notes to me on his laptop in class, asks me questions that really there is no reason he should know and I get the feeling that he's just doing it to talk to me, he even tries to touch me (which is when I really freak) and tries to hold a normal conversation with me but can't seem to actually do it.

2) Did he begin to stalk you as un anonymous person or did you know from day one he was the one messed up guy?

• I knew he was a little off based on comments from class last year, and then there was the whole blog fiasco (he had a blog and a discussion board and it was vulgar (his fault and my fellow classmates fault) and the law school administration basically told him to shut it down). But now it's become clear that he is just imbalanced.

3) Don't you have some tall intimidating boyfriends who could take him OFF YOUR BACK?

• Yes, and thank goodness they all think (as if there is another way of thinking about it) that he's a total weirdo. Most of my guy friends are being really good about keeping him away from me and helping to get the point across to him that I'm not interested at all. Mike and Russ at Barely Legal have been very supportive and helpful in giving me ideas as to how to help this guy get the point that I'm not into him.

E-Blogger wanted to know:

1) If you liked him, would it still be considered stalking?

• At this level, YES!

"A pit bull in size 6 shoes."

I'm so worked up about this nomination I can't compose a coherent post so I'm just going to have to put some random thoughts out there.

1. Do you think Bush laughs inside when he says things to the effect of Harriet Miers protecting liberty?
2. If confirmed Harriet Miers will be the 110th justice to sit on the U.S. Supreme Court, she'll be the 37th (this could be wrong, Senator John Cornyn keeps saying 40th) to be nominated and confirmed without having previous judicial experience. Preserving the independence of the Judiciary does not mean that senators and the people do not have a right to know her view on hypotheicals, it doesn't mean they have to rule the same way if the facts are different.
3. Nearly 1/3 of the Justices to have served on the Supreme Court not having prior judicial experience seems really high to me.
4. I've watched WAY too much C-Span today.
5. I better go buy some coat hangers
6. Scott McClellan might be my least favorite person ever.
7. I find it odd that Dick Cheney was appointed to pick the Vice Presidentential candidate and Miers has been helping pick Supreme Court nominees.
8. "Professor Falls" is going to be going nuts tomorrow-and I'm SOO excited to hear it.
9. The justices who didn't vote for Roberts have now "cried wolf" so to speak and now it's going to be hard to get voters to understand why this would be a bad person to confirm.
10. "Legislating from the bench" is the phrase of the day. How come liberals are "legislating from the bench" and are "activist", yet decisions like Kelo and Hambi can come down and it's being "judicial"
11. I love Chuck "it could be a lot worse" Schumer; because actually, it could be. He's really an underrated politican. Quote of the day: "Her time as lottery commissioner isn't going to tell us very much."
12. As much as I love Chuck I do not like how he labeled O'Connor's seat as a "swing seat." You can't decide that seats of the Supreme Court are reversed for certain type of people. Although, lately that has happened with the replacement of Thurgood Marshall by Clarence Thomas and now the replacement of Sandra Day O'Connor with another woman. My problem with this isn't keeping women and minorities on th court, it's that I think it actually makes it harder to get them there-now there are just token woman/minority seats and we don't have to worry about filling any of the seats held by white males with anything else.

"The Wedding Song-She's Found Herself a Man" aka-the Stalker Song

The Previous Post is the song the stalker wrote for me, recorded in his living room and sent to me...CREEPY to SAY THE LEAST.

It's just a part of it, as I didn't feel like holding my phone up to my computer speakers for 4 minutes just so everyone could listen to the entire song (plus who would want to listen to a song recorded in a living room and recorded on a cell phone for that long).

So now if you're keeping track:

• The Stalker send me multiple e-mails a day
• All e-mails are signed "Hugs"
• He's 40
• He always wears Jean Shorts
• Is in all my classes
• Tries to sit next to me and has been able to 50% of the time-the last classes I outsmarted him and got there late
• He took up smoking so he could follow me out during our class breaks and stand around outside with me during breaks
• Has definitely been caught checking me out
• Has written and recorded me a song
• Sent me the song
• Stalks me in the library
• Makes comments about liking young girls (apparently 22 is JUST young enough)
• Wants to form a study group
• Sends me his class notes
• Ohh, did I mention HE WROTE, RECORDED AND SENT ME A SONG

CREEPY, SERIOUSLY.

"The Wedding Song-She's Found Herself a Man"

Nascar is not a Sport

Legally Blonde walks into 7/11 to make an ATM, buy some cigarettes and a lighter.

I glance at all the lighters. There some that look like frogs, some that are fancy and have cushioned grips, and then are a ton of Bic ones (my normal kind) but they all have NFL Logos (There are Colts, Browns, and Packers lighters at first glance).

Legally Blonde: Do you have any lighters without sports teams on them?

7/11 Employee: I have some Nascar ones behind the counter.

Legally Blonde: That wasn't really what I was looking for, but I agree that Nascar isn't a sport.

7/11 Employee: Nascar is a sport.

Legally Blonde realizes she asked for lighters without sports teams so technically if you think Nascar is a sport the employee was right to offer. She also realizes she's on fragile ground.

Legally Blonde: Right, well, yeah, I guess I'll take a Packers lighter.

7/11 Employee: Which one?

(Shows me the predominantly green one and the predominantly yellow one)

Legally Blonde: Umm Yellow I guess, It's an NFL lighter, I don't even want to carry it. There aren't any Patroits ones in there are there? Or how about a U of M one?

7/11 Employee: No, but I have these Nascar ones.

Legally Blonde: Yeah, just give me the Yellow Packers one.

Why I'm a law nerd

Gay Husband: I'm trying to petition the school the school to put a Starbucks on the bus...Wouldn't that be nice?

Legally Blonde: I guess-except for all the worker's comp claims from the coffee burns.

PS- I'm not dead...I'm just dog sitting and I haven't really wanted to blog on my bosses computer. I promise when I get a chance I'll find a way to post the song that the stalker WROTE, RECORDED AND SENT TO ME...Ohh yeah, just wait, it's frightening.

Ohh yeah...ONE MORE THING

IT'S GREAT...TO BE..A MICHIGAN WOLVERINE!!!

"Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse"

For those of you who don't know how I feel about Bob Dylan I think this sums it up nicely.

I just find new elements of tragedy to focus on, new reasons to be empathetic. This is especially true of every Bob Dylan song that has ever touched me. There are people who hate his voice, who think he's too nasal and can't sing...but they won't understand that for real Dylan fans, the sound of his ragged, edgy vocal cords is the sound of redemption.

Elizabeth Wurtzel-Prozac Nation

I watched the Bob Dylan Documentary on PBS. In college I took a History of the 1960's course, during the course of listening to the music for the course I listened to some Bob Dylan. I don't know if it was the state I was in at that point in my life or if it was just the music but I can honestly say I've never been so deeply changed by anything else in my life. For the class we read a book called Flowers In the Dustbin: The Rise of Rock and Roll 1947-1977. Just reading the section detailing when Dylan goes electric made me realize his impact:

Dylan had reinvented himself as a hobo minstrel, then as a troubadour of dissent. Reaching out to a wider audience still, he was about to become a rock and roll Rimbaud.

When it came the metamorphosis was abrupt, surrounded by controversy, and greeted in some quarters as scandal.

Dylan became on of the most storied figures in rock and roll history, completely transforming music and its expressive possibilities in the minds of those who played it and those who listened to it.

The voluable lyrics to a song like "Rolling Stone" lie dead on the printed page. What matters is Dylan's voice: the poetry of the song depends on it.

Still, it was with some trepidation, one imagines, that Dylan prepared to issue a more formal, and irrevocable, declaration of musical independence from his friends at the Newport Music Festival in July 1965.

After he arrived the tension only mounted. Instead of the Bob Dylan of the 1964 festival-who had worn blue jeans and a work shirt, in the customary folk singer's gesture of solidarity with the working class-the Bob Dylan of the 1965 festival arrived with shades on, wearing a puff-sleeved shirt with op-art polka dots, very pop, very provocative.

He chose to rehearse with a group of musicians who had never played with him before: this was his first foray into performing live with amplified instruments.

Jeers floated from the crowd...Dylan abruptly left the stage, as did his band. The jeering intensified. Finally, in an apparent effort to mollify the crowd, Dylan returned by himself and sang 2 more songs in his customary "folk" style.

In retrospect, it is hard to see what all the fuss was about. A film was made of this performance, and it shows a poorly rehearsed band and wobbly singer-it was obvious that he was stoned...

But any strictly musical account misses the drama of the moment. The use of electric instruments, turned up LOUD, was an act of aggression. And it worked...A demonstration of the kinds of raw emotions that a rock and roll musician, if he wished, could stir up.

He could irritate and enrage. He could prevoke an argument, cause a furor...

And that is one of the ways in which Bob Dylan became a new kind of rock and roll hero...A poet and prophet, he would write out of his own life, with no apparent regard for the pieties prevailing in society.

Tonight, as I watched one of Dylan's first electric sets chills went down my spine and I despite how much I appreciated his music before, tonight I finally understood it. His attitude of defiance toward the crowd, coupled with the open use of drugs on stage, and his general disposition towards was rock and roll. I knew it before-but I saw it today. When the crowd jeered he responded by telling the musicians to "turn it up louder." Rock and Roll is Jim Morrison saying "Light my Fire" on the Ed Sullivan show despite being warned not to, it's Pete Townsend smashing guitars, it's Paige and Plant and the chemisty they had together, it's that feeling you get when you hear your favorite Beatles song-but mainly it's Bob Dylan and the effect he had on all of them by challenging himself, his fans, and defying their expectations to do something that in the end turned out to be pure greatness.

Bonus fact: Listening to the things The Beatles as he was driving his car in Colorado inspired Dylan to go electric when he realized what they were doing could only be done with other musicians and a rock and roll band-at the time The Beatles had 8 of the 10 top ten songs.

Bonus Link: 101 Things you didn't know about Rock and Roll

"A fool judges people by the presents they give him."

(Chinese Proverb)

The other day I got a fortune cookie that read:

"Promote literacy-buy a box of Fortune Cookies."

I can't believe the "ad-nauseum" has gotten so bad they're trying to sell me fortune cookies via my fortune. I think I'd feel better if they'd just completely sold out and told me to buy an ipod-at least then I'd have an excuse to go out and spend a ridiculous amount of money on a material good.

"You didn't just get it in - I saw it in the June Vogue a year ago. So if you're trying to sell it to me for full price, you've got the wrong girl."

The other day I told a law student I liked his tie and then proceeded to ask him if it was Tommy Hilfiger (I have an eye for designers and I tend to be really good with ties since I always look at them in the store to see if I find one I can buy my brother-since he has to wear one at school everyday). Of course I was right, and he responded:

"There's a woman who spends too much time at Marshall Field's! If you hit the books 1/2 as hard as you hit the mall you'd be at the top of our class."

(Yeah no kidding, if I hit the books 1/2 as hard as I hit the bottle I'd also be at the top of our class). What this all has to do with the point of this post-Nothing, but it's all shopping related and I thought it was funny.

Today I decided I'd go by a new suit (which means I bought 2), but I couldn't help it-they're adorable! And I got a GREAT deal and basically got both suits for what I was planning on spending on one. Take a look for yourself...

Exhibit A:










Exhibit B:

Ok, nevermind, I can't find a picture (very sad since it's EVEN cuter), so I'll just describe it.

It's:

1. A Black Suit
   
2. with Pink Pinstripes
3. and Pink Piping
4. The same ruffles as the skirt on the other suit
5. Bows with Pink Piping on the pockets

(In other words it's VERY Legally Blonde).

I've always preferred the term "Socialist" to "Pinko Commie"

You are a Social Liberal (86% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (18% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating

"I've never been so alive."

It sounds sick and I'm sure I'll be eating my words in November but I'm really enjoying Law School right now. I haven't had much time to blog because I've been so busy being sick, actually going to class, reading, interviewing, socializing, babysitting, Mentoring, and I've even managed to fit some dating in.

Health: The allergies I whined about the other day ended up being a cold-which turned into bronchitis. My mom pointed out that she used to always get bronchitis when she smoked-no really mom? Smoking effects your lungs? In a bad way? I refuse to believe it! You don't know WHAT you're talking about!

School: As I said everything is going great. I got cold called in 2 different classes on Tuesday. It could have been so much worse since I forgot my laptop that day (how I did that I will never know) but I did really well and now it's out of the way. Taxation is difficult but I really like the professor-and he adores me. Everytime he tells a cheesy joke and people don't laugh he looks over at me and smiles since I'm always at least smiling at him or usually laughing since I think he's hilarious.

The Interview: Tuesday was my interview with the prosecutor's office. It was horrible. I had the 2nd to last interview of the day and I honestly think he'd written me off before I walked in the door. He didn't even shake my hand at the start of the interview or when it was ending. He didn't ask me about my resume, all he did was throw 3 hypos at me which were completely ridiculous. Just so you can see what I was dealing with:

1. Neighbors hearing fighting and call police, police and neighbors see husband strike wife, arrest husband, wife will not testify against him, what do you tell her? Do you press charges still? I first stressed how I would inform her of all the options and safehavens there are for battered women (which he did not seem to care about). He just kept pressing the issue of whether I'd charge the spouse. I finally said I could not make a decision like that without a prior history of the husband's in front of me. With a victim unwilling to testify I didn't know if it was the roll of the state to interfere with a family matter. Not to mention that regardless of whether she testifies or not if he is sent to jail she'll probably face violence from that-so how is that really helping the victim. Plus the family is loosing wages while the husband is in jail. While my instinct is to lock up all spousal abusers I'm just not sure proceeding with that case and wasting valuable time is worth it.
2. 85 year old man is mugged, starts carrying a concealed weapon out of fear and is unlikely to be a repeat offender, do you charge him? If you choose not to charge him what do you do when the arresting officer gets upset with you for not doing what he considers to be your job? I said I would not charge him with the CCW Violation provided I was certain he wouldn't be a repeat offender because it seemed like a waste of valuable time. And as for the officers-it's not really a shocker that police and lawyer's don't get along and this is one of the reasons. While I wouldn't want to intentionally get an offiver mad at me I also am not going to be told how to do my job by one. (I think he liked this answer).
3. 80 year old lady has china stolen out of her car, print on the glass matches man who lives 3 blocks down, search his house, find the plates, his attorney want to waive the preliminary examination and just go to trial-do you? I explained that I hadn't had criminal procedure and while saving time was obviously a benefit of waiving it I wasn't fully aware of what happens at the preliminary exam (they don't show that on "Law and Order") and couldn't really make an educated decision. (Prosecutor then presses the issue and forces me to make an uninformed choice). I decide to wave it. (He then skips ahead 6 months to trail and decides the 80 year old lady died-he then informs me I don't have a case since I don't have her testimony from the exam). UMM THANKS JACKASS-DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU I DIDN'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT TO MAKE A CHOICE! WAY TO ASK ME A TRICK QUESTION AND THEN WHEN I TELL YOU I DON'T THINK I CAN ANSWER IT COERCE ME INTO ANSWERING WRONG SO YOU CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF.

So yeah, not the best interview in history-but it convinced me I DO NOT want to work there-as if I didn't already know that.

***Update: For the answers I should have given had I actually wanted the job visit Blonde Justice.

Dating: Both of the on-again/off-again boys are on again. It always works like this for some reason and it's really hard for me since they're friends. It's not that bad since the one that I'm just not that into knows about the one I am into-so if we end up at the same places thus far things have always worked out fine. (I do not know how it would work out if I was out with the one that I'm just not that into and we ran into the one I am into). It was much harder when they were living together but luckily the one who I am into moved out recently. (Isn't it great how my relationships are getting more and more childish and complicated as I get older? If anyone even understood this description without reading it twice I'd be shocked.)

Damn Karma Fairy

All Thursday I was making fun of "Professor Falls" since he was kinda "flemmy" during lecture and kept making these disgusting sounds as he sucked the mucus back into his nose.

Now my allergies have declared war on me. My nose is running, I have a sore throat, My ears are popping and I have a headache. I'm so stuffed up I'm snoring!

I've decided to take an anti-histamine and pass out.

"Wake me up, when September ends."

The Emmy's are tonight and even though I don't really watch television I know I'll end up watching for the outfits. I plan on Playing The Star Jones Drinking Game, feel free to play along, rules are as follows:

Drink:

- Whenever Star says the word 'Bling.'

- Whenever Star refers to a celebrity as belonging to her, as in, "Here comes my girl, Nicole Kidman." or "Please welcome, my man, Jamie Foxx."

- Whenever Star mentions the husband, you should have to go in the closet and drink.

- Anytime Star uses the word "glamazon."

- Every time the mess called Star Jones says "absolutely" throw back 2 shots. You will be hammered before the first commercial.

- Every time Star makes a "weight concealing" movement, like puffing up her chest or arching her back, take 2 shots.

- Every mention of one of her sponsors, three shots ("Kathy's shoes look like they came from Payless! Bogo, baby!").

- Every time Star has a wardrobe change, switch drinks with a buddy and DRINK!

- Every time the camera catches a background shot of Big Gay Al.

and finally

- Whenever Star's penis is visible through her outfit, drink the rest of the bottle.

In unrelated news:

1. I had my first Dirty Girl Scout this weekend-So Girly, Yet so tastey.
2. Jager Bombs are fun-And they do get you drunk.
3. I had at least 5 Red Headed Sluts this weekend. On a related note, this is probably my favorite shot...It tastes good but since there's Jager in it you don't feel like you're being a total girl.
4. U of M managed to beat EMU (basically a High School Football Team)-Sad to say but it's looking like MSU is going to wipe the field with us at Spartan Stadium (or whatever the hell they call it) this year.
5. I've had so many HUGE family problems in the last 2 weeks that I've taken on a "what's next?" attitude. I wish I could get into them but it's just all to recent still. But if this all had happened 18 months ago I probably would have had a nervous breakdown-ohh wait, I did have a nervous breakdown 18 months ago. What I'm trying to say is that I'm very happy with myself and how much I've grown and how much better I have been able to handle all this.
6. Recently I've had 4 different people express how much they disliked the boyfriend I had from ages 16-19 to me. It seemed rather odd. 1) As if I even liked him that much-I just started to believe it when he told me I couldn't do any better, 2) I don't even talk to him now, 3) It was over more then 3 years ago. It took me a long time to get over all the emotional scars from that relationship and now everyone seems to be bringing it back up.
7. In other unhealthy relationship news: I cannot exercise self control about this one guy even though I know he's never going to be able to give me what I want emotionally. But he's a fun guy to be around and I'm young so I think I'll just continue to enjoy myself.

Typical Breakfast Conversation at my Parents:

Legally Blonde: I think Seann William Scott is gay...I read on a gossip column that he's never been in a serious relationship "with a woman." Wouldn't that be great-the quintessential frat boy from the American Pie movies being gay?

Dad: I think you're right. I heard he's into Snowballing.

Brother: EWWWW!

Legally Blonde: Where did you even hear that?!?!?

Mom: What's a snowball? What are you guys talking about? What does that mean?

Legally Blonde: I'm not explaining it-anyone?

Dad: Nevermind.

Brother: EWWW!!!

Welcome Back, Your Dreams Were Your Ticket Out

The Law School Welcome Back Party was last night-Free Beer, Free Pizza, Bad Karaoke, and Dunking Professors were the draws of the evening...Really, Free Beer would be enough to get most people there. The party went from 4-Midnight, so of course I went immediately after my class ended at 3:30.

I finally got to meet a lot of the new 1L's. We all played flippy cup (I single-handly lost 2 games for the 2L's and was kicked off the team). To be fair, I haven't played since undergrad and that was before my hands started shaking all the time so it's a little hard for me. But really, Rule #73: Play like a Champion. No Excuses.

The 1L boys (it's funny that I call them boys since they're all older then I am) were so fun I bought them a round of shots. The 1L girls were a bit of a disapointment. Only like 3 of them were even there after 9 p.m.-the slutty one, the one who can't handle her liquor, and the one who can actually drink. I warned "the slutty one" to take it elsewhere since everyone talks about stuff like that but she did not follow my advice-and now she's "the slutty one." When "the one who can't handle her liquor" was leaving she broke her flip flop and fell down. I tried to get her to drink some water but she was insistent that she just needed her flip flop fixed and to put her hat back on. Oh yeah, did I mention-she was wearing a hat. A fitted U of M cap that was WAY to small for her head and just sat on top of it. I'm not sure "the one who can actually drink" can actually drink-but in comparison to the other 2 she seemed like a champ-plus she played flippy cup with us and was drinking beer like a pro.

I love watching law students get drunk and have a good time. Plus it's always funny to see who starts hanging on who after a couple drinks-I myself never have done that...riiiiiiiiiiight.

I GOT AN INTERVIEW...

Granted, it's with the prosecutor's office (I'm not really sure I'd even want the job given my beliefs). But, regardless, I'm happy to have an interview.

Opinions are like Assholes...

Everybody's got one.

My grandpa's surgery went well from what I hear (I'm going to see him tomorrow).

The real question now is: Is it off color to put a joke in his card about how if my grandma calls him an asshole he can tell her he had his surgically removed.

"Is that the guy with the old balls?"

I have a stalker. He's a law student. But not just any law student. He's Jean Shorts Guy. Which alone would be bad enough. But he's also The Old Guy.

• He's in all my classes and has found a way to sit by me...RIGHT next to me.
• He also seems to randomly "run into me" in the library a lot.
• He also e-mails me and signs the e-mails "hugs."
• I'm pretty sure I've caught him checking me out a few times.
• He has a nickname for me.
• He continually makes reference to liking younger girls-despite my continued reference to him being my dad's age and basically calling him a dirty old man.

I can handle flirting with old guys when I'm "taking one for the team" and getting us a free round of drinks or two-but for class notes it just isn't worth it to me.

I had to go into work today, usually not a big deal at this time of year since there's not really much to do. I took my books and expected to be able to read all day...That was the only reason I agreed to go in since I had WAY too much to do otherwise. Unfortunately for me there was a ton of work to be done and I got NO reading whatsoever done.

What the hell is this? I'm not allowed to get my employment discrimination reading done on company time anymore?

If you're going to be a lawyer you might want to do things like make sure you spell people's names right-but what do I really know?

Apparently you can show up to class drunk, be a total flirt, and not take school seriously at all during your 1L year and they'll still give you a mentee-hell, they even gave me 2.

One of them I know (and requested) but the other I have yet to meet. He's already started things off wrong by spelling my name wrong on his return email. As if I didn't spell my own name correctly on the one I sent him. PLUS, he has an oddly spelled name, if other people with oddly spelled names can't be counted on to get each other's spellings correct what is this world coming to? Plus when you're a lawyer there are certain things you just DO NOT do-and misspelling names is one of them. Apparently I'm going to be teaching this kid (I use the term kid loosely since odds are he's older then I am) the basics.

The good news is (which I learned after googling him-laugh if you want but I have to go to lunch with this kid and I wanted to make sure he's not a killer or something) he's a frat boy-so we should get along nicely.

What am I? A red headed step child?

Some might call tonight’s excessive blogging a lame attempt to avoiding reading for Tuesday, but I prefer to think of it as my sacrificing my school work to stay in touch and amuse the 3 people who read my blog.

I just found out that my grandpa is going to have MAJOR surgery tomorrow. Now I’m the spoiled brat who didn’t go see him before he went into the Hospital-but I didn’t know he was going into the hospital. I’m guilting myself enough about not being able to go see him because of my schedule and then people have to make me feel bad. Plus, I called him and explained how busy I am…He was understanding so that’s all that should really matter in my opinion.

I realize that I used to get most of my information from my parents when I lived at home so I would hear about these things-but it’s been over a year since I lived there and there has been a consistent pattern of me missing finding out on things like this and then feeling bad or being guilted that I didn’t know. Apparently I’m not important enough for anyone to notify so why should I be the one who feels bad? Even when I do get notified it’s always in the “if you were a better grandchild you’d call and check in and know this was happening” tone. The real reason I never call is that I do not like my grandma and I can’t stand when I have to talk to her. I love talking to my grandpa, he’s a really sweet old guy who has managed to deal with her screaming at him and telling him he’s stupid for the last 50 years. Even when I do call to talk to him she always is yelling in the background or mad that I don’t want to talk to her so, yeah, I don’t call as much as I should-but if you weren’t a total bitch who tried to control everyone’s life maybe we would be nicer.

I know I seem like a terrible person for even writing this post but if you’d ever me the woman you’d understand-she is literally INSANE. She’s the lady who goes up to people she doesn’t know and tells them to pull up their pants/discipline their children/tie their shoes or any other thing of any nature that she deems is her business-which is basically everything.

PS-I spent 2 minutes trying to get the fonts to match on this stupid post but then I realized that was about a minute too long and gave that effort up.

PPS-My sunburn is making me sweat and it's not cute.

I get enough SPAM in my e-mail box...

I don't really need comment SPAM making my blog look tacky.

Despite the fact that I am *mildly* obsessive about my teeth (and others teeth for that matter) getting comments about teeth whitening and working from home isn't my thing so I followed Blonde Justice's lead and I've turned on word verification for comments (really I just found out there was that option from her announcing she'd turned it on).

Being that I get about 2 comments per post if I'm lucky and most of the time they're telling me I'm wrong about something I highly doubt this will stop any of you who genuinely want to comment from doing so (since the way I figure if you're really that lazy you're probably also too lazy to type a comment so I probably won't miss too much feedback).

"I'm not going to do what everyone thinks I'm going to do and just FLIP OUT MAN!"

I've finally hit the wall. I just want to go lay outside and blow off everything I need to accomplish in the next 2 days. I'm just really annoyed, cranky, whiney, and tired. As such, I've compiled a list of things I'm cranky about:

1. I'm sunburned...As in: I look like a lobster level of sunburn.
2. I bought some Biore pore strips (they were $10) and when I got them home found out the box was empty...NOT happy to say the least and I plan on going back to the drug store for an exchange.
3. The laundry pile keeps getting bigger, and while I can probably get it all done in 3 (maybe 4) loads I have to fold it all. And put it all away. Not fun.
4. I just got home from work, I have about 200 pages to read before 9am on Tuesday and I have to work again tomorrow. I love being back to school.

Some might say this is MY fault since I knew I had tons to do and yet to went to Ann Arbor and partied this weekend but I prefer not to look at it like that. I deserve one night out a weekend and I'll be damned if I'm going to give it up anytime soon.

Friday was awesome, I finally got to see my Hunny. Econa turned 21 and as such we had to celebrate. I did get a little wild but it was all in good fun.

Some weird guy kept asking me to juggle. I'm still not sure if he really wanted me to juggle or if it was some sort of code I didn't get. I also met a reformed Neo-Nazi Skin Head...Always an interesting time in A2. Maybe if I ever get a spare second I'll write a post about it but until some time frees up I'm afraid my blogging will be sporatic-insuring that the 2 readers I actually have will stop visiting me.

Flipper, Flipper, Faster then lightening...

While I'm back at law school and there is much to discuss (like how Professor Fall thinks he is smarter then any Supreme Court Justice to ever sit on the bench, the death of the Chief Justice, my stalker, the workload, the excitement from starting classes, Hurricane Katrina-I don't mean to put this so low on the list but I've been avoiding media coverage since to be honest I can't handle it, or the embarrassing scene from the weekend) I find myself focusing on my little brother (a.k.a.-Flip*).

I already wrote about how he's injured himself. He had an MRI Tuesday (which given my experience with knee problems I read) and then an appointment with the guy who does all the knee surgery for the local professional football team (only the best for him). After seeing the MRI I immediately knew the news wasn't good-really I knew after seeing the trainer test his knee last Saturday.

He has a surgery scheduled for October 13th to repair his ACL (the MCL is also torn). After having been through ACL replacement surgery I feel terrible when I hear anyone has to go through it. But, it's just that much worse when it's my baby brother (Ok, I know he's 17 and a senior in high school). But, this is the kid I made sure got to school in the morning from the ages of 6-13. We're far enough apart in age that I've always been kinda motherly to him and the fact that I was the one around when he was in Elementary school (and not my parents) has always kinda furthered that whole notion.

I am a firm believer in the fact that nobody should have to go through grafting of a tendon and bone drilling to replace any torn ligament-but I really feel my little brother shouldn't have to. It's not like we've been afforded great advantages in life. We grew up in a "paycheck to paycheck" home-for lack of a better term. Nothing was ever really handed to us. I paid for a substantial portion of my undergraduate education and am paying for all of my law school.

He was supposed to be different then me. I was the "smart" one. I worked my ass off to get where I did, but he really had something special. It's not that he doesn't work hard-it's that we all had just figured it was a given by this point in time that he would get a college scholarship-He's been an All American since he was Freshman; he also won the high school diving state meet as a Freshman at which point he really proved himself to other people. He's been working at this since age 6 and now some stupid injury might come in the way.

I'm sitting here, crying as I write this post, just wanting to convey that outside of my mom he is by far the most important person in my life and I just wish he didn't have to deal with this.

*My nickname for my brother. Nobody else calls him that these days-when I want to sound really dated I call him "Flippy." I was always the only person at football games standing up screaming "LIGHT 'EM UP FLIP!" It goes all the way back to when we were little kids and he did flips off the 1/2 wall between our living room and kitchen into the couch and used to smack his head on the coffee table when he went too far.

"Child I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit/Enough that you won't illegally search my shit"

I almost went to jail last night. Being that I had been at a concert until 1am put on by createevolve, a band some of my friends play in I'm sure you all are thinking I was stopped for something "exciting" like DUI.

I'm actuality I was stopped for rolling a stop! The light was flashing, it was 2 am, I was exhausted so I *may* have rolled the stupid stop-which I'm not sure he could even prove since he was behind me.

I'm sure he pulled me over figuring I was drinking and driving at that hour. To be fair, I had consumed a couple "sodas" at the bar but I was fine by the time I had to drive.

So I stop, give him my license and registration and he asks me where I'm heading. I tell him home, yet when he looks at my license he realizes I'm not headed in the direction that my license says is my home. When I moved into my grandparents last summer I didn't know how permanent it would be, so I just left my parents address as my permanent address...Well, apparently that is a misdeamor. The cop got all hard-assed (as cops in the town I was driving through are notorious for) he told me I'd committed a misdeamor and made me get out of the car at which point I was fairly certain I was going to jail. I explained to him that if I got a misdeamor I would never be able to take the bar-thereby ruining any chance I had at future employment. I also explained that I have a lot of points on my license right now and that were I to get an additional ticket my license would be revoked and I would not even be able to get myself to and from school. (I then realized that telling a cop your a law student isn't usually a good idea as cops tend to hate lawyers-we're always telling them they're wrong or in the alternative that they did their job wrong and didn't get us enough information).

He eventually came back handed me a ticket for rolling the stop and, attempted to search my car without probable cause...That was where I drew the line. I asked him if he thought it was fair that I was going to have my license suspended, be unable to attend class-which would become a moot point if I was taken to jail since I'm going to have enough trouble passing the character and fitness part of the bar examine anyway. I then reminded him of all the paperwork he'd have to fill out where he to take me to jail. At which point he decided to let me go and told me to call and schedule a court date to see what we could do about my ticket.

As he was walking away from my car he said "It's a good thing you're a law student-you'll need to defend yourself on these. Maybe you should spend some more time reading the vehicle code." I replied "It's actually the Michigan Compiled Laws that I'm going to need to research in for this but thanks for the tip."

I'm hoping he'll switch it to a different offense without points (and a higher fine) so I can keep my license-if not I can hopefully get one that allows me to go to work and school. I'm looking at this as a business transaction-if he switches the ticket the city gets more money so he's happy and I keep my license (and can hopefully find someone to insur me) so I'll be happy.

Considering this town just started enforcing trespassing (a $500 fine) against beachgoers (which had never been enforced before) because the family who moved in next to the beach bought them 2 brand new motorcycles I am hoping they're greedy enough to let me off-if not I don't know what I'll do.