(Belated) Sexy Sunday # 13

Keeping with my recent discovery of Six Feet Under...I present Eric Balfour.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a bad boy.

Today I...

1. was rear-ended on the way to work.
2. had a severe headache, and neck ache (see #1).
3. limped around due to foot pain (also see #1).
4. had to stop and get gas in what my dad referred to as "the worst area [I] could possibly be in."
5. was told I don't have health insurance while trying to pick up $200 in prescriptions.
6. called my parents to tell them #5, at which point my mother demanded to speak to the pharmacy clerk-as if they could do anything-to try and explain that I should have insurance.
7. am cranky.

I am officially...

the person who shows up 10 minutes late to class, with a starbucks cup (spilling all over the place) filled with a quad-venti, non-fat, no-foam, cinnamon dolce latte.

"Now, Imagine She's White."

Hound Dog, the new Dakota Fanning movie is creating a stir at Sundance, due to a rape scene (of Dakota, who is 12 years old) it contains. I don't remember there being such outrage about A Time to Kill, which contains a scene depicting the rape of a 10 year old girl.

It's been ages since I saw A Time to Kill, and I haven't seen Hound Dog yet, so I suppose it isn't really fair to comment. But from my memory the scene in A Time to Kill was fairly graphic, however, I'm not sure it included clips of the girls face, as Hound Dog does.

All signs thus far point to Matthew McConaughey being right in his closing statement of A Time to Kill.

"Generation Next, Next Phase, Next Stage, Next Grade, Next Wave."

The only thing worse than being a Gen-Xer is being a Gen-Yer. You're basically a Gen-Xer who missed out on everything.

You got into Nirvana (years) after the death of Kurt Cobain, the fall of the Berlin Wall is a vague memory and something you learn about in history classes, you listened to the Spice Girls (and saw the movie, your parents fed you Ritalin while you fed yourself X¹, and you were in high school during Columbine-looking around to nerdy kids and deciding to maybe be a bit nicer to them.

It's like my aunt who was born in 1965 who is always trying to say she's a baby boomer at Holiday functions, while all my other family members roll their eyes.

At least I'm not part of the "Internet Generation" like my brother, and know that an e-mail is not a proper thank-you and that the world did function before facebook and myspace.

¹Seriously, I didn't. I was of the opinion that was pretty much the lamest drug you could ever take, and still am.

"Come on to My House, My House A-Come-On, I'm Going to Give You Candy."

My grandparents just informed me that their new favorite show is The Girls Next Door, before that is was "Vanna"¹ and "Reg"². My grandma kept asking me if "Hef sleeps with all of them" since "he kisses them all on the mouth."

¹Wheel of Fortune
²Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Happy Abortion Day!

Roe v. Wade was decided January 22, 1973.

"I Don't Give A Bakers F*ck!"

Damn Straight.

Sexy Sunday # 12

He might have lost today, and he might have been featured before, but he's still my #1.

He could also have been a tight end, if you ask me...

Seriously?

Great Husband. Events like this make me think being a workaholic-old-maid-who-never-marries won't be so bad.

"This Isn't 'Nam Smokey, There Are Rules."

Today it took me 2 hours to get to school. Thanks mother nature.

Plus, the seating chart in my first class hadn't been passed around yet, even though there was clearly a designated seating arraignment as I had sat in the same seat the last 2 classes periods. However, someone took my absence as a opportunity to adversely possess my seat (and of course the seating chart was then passed around). I feel this is a violation of the unspoken rule that even when there isn't a seating chart if you've had a seat two days in a row it's yours.

Posting will most likely continue to be sparse, as I have no [Hours] stories and school is boring. if you're sick of checking back get bloglines or google reader.

Horray!

Annoyed.

1. Still holding down the thick part of the curve rather handily, although 2 grades are still out.
2. I want my financial aid check. Apparently my school didn't mail them until the day classes started, even though funds were dispursed a week before. Nice.
3. I have no books yet. Because of #2 and my "poor budgeting skills" as the financial aid office implied. I finally had to break down and ask my Mommy and Daddy¹ for the money to buy books despite being in my mid twenties.

¹No, I don't really call them that.

Sigh.

Classes start today for me. And I have to listen to at least one more year of how the SEC is the best conference in the nation, and now there is no decent counter argument. I could take Michigan losing to USC, I know Michigan plays horribly on grass, but the Big Ten going 2-5 in bowl games is a bit too much. Unbelieveable.

My loan check isn't here yet. No books for me until it arrives.

As Much as it Pains Me...

Go Ohio State!
Update: I learned my lesson, Buck the Fuck Eyes.

Let It Snow.

January 8th and we've yet to have any snow. This HAS to be some sort of record. While I enjoy not having wet pants from hiking through snow on the way to class, it is kinda pretty to look it and I almost miss it.

I will regret this post when we do finally get snow.

Killing Bill

TBS is playing something vaguely reminiscent of Kill Bill Volumes I and II this evening. However it cannot be the actual movie as "Buck" was there to "Party" and drove a "Party Wagon." Such a same.

Plutoed?

Has anyone heard of any of the words mentioned in this article?

Sexy Sunday # 11

Sure he's a cad, but he's so easy on the eyes.

"Can't you see, can't you see, what that woman, she been doin' to me."

Whenever I see the TV ad for Goin' South I always think: "If I bought CDs, or if was the type of person who buys CDs off the television, I would SO buy that." I don't know what it is about Southern Rock but I LOVE it. So today I did the next best thing and downloaded the songs I didn't already have on my iPod. So kick ass. It's going to be an Allman Brothers and Marshall Tucker Band evening.

Unemployed.

Or at least rid of [Hours].

Happy 2007!

I submit that there is nothing classier than drinking Cook's Spumante Champagne¹ straight out of the shortie bottle at midnight.

Now it's time to focus on the Rose Bowl. This is really cute. Go Blue!

¹Which is cheaper than Korbel and Asti.

"There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance."

"Which one am I?"
"You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance."

There's nothing quite as bad as all the control freak women in my family (my mom, her mom, my dad's mom, my dad's sister...ok, and myself) getting together at the Holidays. The women are doing a poor job of hiding their claws and the poor men have no idea who they're supposed to listen to.

The thing is, I don't see what's wrong with being a control freak, I like things how I like them. And the longer I go without a long term relationship the worst my control freak tendencies get, since I don't have to compromise (which I admittedly love), and so now I'm just growing more and more set in my ways.

"The Kid is an L, 7 Weeiny."

Friend: You're killing me smalls¹.
Me: The sick thing, I'm totally watching The Sandlot right now.

¹Regarding my refusal to drive after spending an evening drinking with my uncles once they got into town.

Diddy Did It

I finished finals Wednesday. I know everyone says 3L is a joke, however I think this might have been my most grueling exam period ever. It spanned a full 2 weeks and I had 4 exams. Additionally, my school extended the study period this year, which really meant exams were just hanging over my head longer. For good measure, my laptop crashed as well.

In addition to finals, I had a paper due for my seminar at the end of November, as well as summary disposition briefs for my pretrial advocacy class prior to that. Which means I'd been "wrapping" up the semester since November 1^st. 50 days later, I finished.

I'm sure I'll have some stellar stories to regale you with regarding my families antics over the Holidays. Until then, Happy Holidays.

[Link]

Sexy Sunday #10

I had a request for Clive some time ago, let it never be said I don't deliver for my readers.

Carson Palmer's Christmas List:

1. The new Kevin Federline CD, Playing with Fire. Because "[a] lot of people don't like K-Fed, but he's all right."
2. A new tie rack. Since "[e]ven guys from Southern California wear ties."
3. A 10-point LTS crossbow. "It's a new hobby of mine."
4. Flavor of Love Season 1 DVD. Because he thinks "Flav is very smooth, and funny."
5. A pingpong table. "Pingpong is fun and helps your hand-eye coordination."

I'll never feel the same way when I watch him again.

[Link]

Stellar Judgment...

Good Idea: Drinking Long Beach Iced Teas at the Firm Christmas party.
Better Idea: Running the table on [Hours] in a pool game.
Best Idea: Going ice skating with the associates after the party.

I've Been Working for [Hours] for WAY too Long.

I just finished watching The Devil Wears Prada. How sick is it that I thought Andrea (Anna Hathaway's character) was whiney and didn't think Miranda (the "evil" boss played by Meryl Streep) was that bad?

"I think the money should be spent on something the whole town can be proud of."

I think my favorite part about working in the city are the times when I get to ride The Simpson's Monorail The People Mover.

Naming Posts Annoys Me.

My Alternative Dispute Resolution final might have been the greatest thing ever, despite being closed book. Prior to the exam the professor gave us a list of terms and told us that was all we needed to know. The exam was 15 fill in the blank and 10 multiple choice. Plus he gave us the list of terms. In other words, it was a high school vocab test. We were given 90 minutes, it took me 15.

Now all I have between myself and freedom are domestic violence and no-fault. To make the pot that much sweeter someone volunteered their domestic violence notes to me, since mine are what I would call "lackluster."

Dude, You're Getting a Dell

The laptop is going back to Dell tomorrow, ergo posting will be subject to the whims of my desktop. Nevermind that I still have 3 finals, I can't handle the flickering...so, off it goes. Sure it might be helpful to study, but if I develop seizures from the flickering (and I've tried adjusting my power options, it flickers regardless) it won't be very helpful in terms of studying either. Clearly I'm making the right decision.

I'm Bringing Sexy Back

Beta

I've finally been asked to join the blogger beta revolution. Which I did, without much thought. I suppose I might as well make the most of it and tag my posts over the course of the next few weeks. Not like I should be studying.

Update: Beta rejected my template. It was sad. No word on if I'll keep the old one or not. In the haste to get something up other than plain white I had to redo my link list. If I missed you let me know, even if you weren't up before.

If It's Too Loud You're Too Old.

My school has a "lounge" downstairs. It is a locked area available only to law students. It has a big screen TV and a pool table. Everytime I've ever been in there (which is frequent since it's one of the few places with real furniture) it's been a quiet place to study.

Today, the first day of exams, I had been in there studying for about an hour when some 2Ls came in. You know the type; pink polo shirts, designer jeans, and a general aura of superiority. They proceed to play a "quick" game of pool and then "study", which really meant talk about everything from cars to if it was acceptable to wear pastels during the winter. I think my favorite was their usage of the word "aggressive" to describe any car they thought was cool.

I'm clearly not one to complain about being slightly noisy in study areas, but this seemed excessive even to me. Sure it's not the library, but I've always felt that was a study area.

Maybe I'm just in exam mode where everything annoys me.

You're Unbelievable.

My professor missed the last day of class and is now trying use the review session for that lecture.

He also plans to do evaluations today. We'll just see how nice I'm feeling after this bush league maneuver.

Can I Graduate?

I recently told my parents the date of graduation, since it's a work day and I figured they might need to ask for time off, yet I prefaced the entire conversation with the fact that I wasn't entirely sure I'd be going.

I expected severe backlash, but they didn't even comment. I had the argument all prepared about how I went to my high school one since I had to speak at it as Class President (and since I will admit I kinda wanted to go to that one and be with friends and blah blah blah), and how I went to my college one since I felt I owed it to them since they contributed financially (and I will also admit I kinda wanted to go to that one since it was U of M and all, plus I could sit with my friends).

I suppose it's kinda a big deal, but it just seems to ridiculous. I still have to pass the bar. Plus these days I have about 4 friends in the law school, one of whom would be sitting near me (assuming they go in alpha order-since this is a law school commencement and it most likely will be highly structered).

Granted, all of this will be moot if I flunk out this term, which isn't that remote of a possibility.

I'm sure there are those of you out there who are of the opinion that "if I miss it I would regret it the rest of my life." While I would have agreed with those arguments about High School and College I just can't see it to be the case with Law School.

Not So Random Rant.

Alternate title: This One's for You Dicta.

As if it wasn't bad enough that I'm having to create my first outline since god knows when for a class I haven't been to since August (seriously) and for which I didn't buy the books for my laptop has to fuck with my patience. My power cord has been being fussy, but it's not like I can be without my laptop right now so I've been sucking it up. Now, of course, things have taken a turn for the worse. The cord keeps connecting and disconnecting as I merrily type-typey-typing along. Those of you who are laptop users, take a moment, unplug your power source. See the flicker? Now do that in rapid succession and try not to have seizures. I dare you. I have no time to make some stupid phone call to Dell to talk to some weirdo who doesn't get the issues I'm having (my laptop case has been cracked ever since last year when I tried to explain that to him I failed and decided it just wasn't worth it). I wouldn't be so pissed except that I really haven't abused this laptop, and the crack I happen to know occurs to TONS of people so clearly it is a design defect and therefore customer support over in India should really be able to comprehend my problem.

To make it even better this is the first of 4 exams (even though I've already disposed of 2 classes), and I have essentially no notes for any of the classes (not like that is anything new).

Update: My motherboard needs to be replaced. My case needs to be replaced. My screen needs to tightened. The rubber footies on my laptop need to be replaced (this was my demand since they fell off ages ago). My conversation with Dell last night was that bad (comparatively), but it did drive me to eat some ice cream (generally they drive me to drink so that isn't so bad).

Angst.

Pretty much not going to get anything done until the BCS rankings come out. Probably not going to get much done after they come out either.

I could write an essay about the ridiculousness of the BCS. Michigan stays at #2 after loosing to the number #1 team in the nation (which I believe was correct). Then the next week they drop a spot while sitting around watching USC v. Notre Dame, and this week they face dropping another spot after sitting around watching USC lose to unranked UCLA. Florida lost to #11 Auburn; squeaked past Florida State, South Carolina, Vanderbilt, Georgia and Tennessee¹; Michigan lost to the number team in the country on the road by 3 points.

Check out this ESPN Poll²:

1) Which team should play Ohio State in the BCS championship game?
52.1% Florida
47.9% Michigan

2) Which team has been playing better recently?
52.9% Michigan
47.1% Florida

5) Which team's offense would cause Ohio State more problems?
59.5% Michigan
40.5% Florida

6) Which team's defense would cause Ohio State more problems?
57.2% Michigan
42.8% Florida

Michigan is playing better, would give Ohio State more problems offensively and defensively, but Florida deserves to play OSU on the National "Championship" Game. I'm already disenfranchised with politics, I can't handle losing college football as well.

Updates...
7:22-I really can't take this anymore. Granted I most likely should have given up hope when the other polls came out, but I need to know for sure.

8:29-While it was expected it's still heartbreaking. The solace will be the family rivalry, being that my brother is a USC student. I've also realized that Kirk Herbstreet might be the only OSU grad I could ever love.

¹All of which are unranked besides Tennessee.
²Link.

Inside the Actors Studio

James Lipton: If you weren't an actor, what would you like to be?
Tom Hanks: A weekly columnist.
James Lipton: What wouldn't you want to be?
Tom Hanks: A lawyer, it's like doing homework for a living.

Yes I was watching Inside the Actors Studio. Lay off.

Hearing Impaired.

I just got asked to turn my headphones (iPod ear buds) down. Could I really have been listening to anything that loudly? I didn't think I was. Or is this just another penalty for killing time in the library since my "early" class was cancelled?

Stupid law students.

Horray!

I finished my paper. It can be found here.

Question...

Is Courier New fair game as a font when the Professor doesn't specify Times New Roman?

I have a 30 page paper due next week. If I use pretty much any other font I have 12 pages as of right now, if I use Courier I have 17. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Thanksgiving.

Longtime readers are aware that my holiday functions tend to be a tad bit interesting, to say the least. This Thanksgiving was no exception.

I should have known it was going to be interesting early on. I was setting the table and I walked out into the "room off the kitchen" (for lack of a better term) where the garbage is kept. Most years we have shrimp cocktail as an appetizer before dinner. The room reeked of what I assumed to be shrimp so I made a comment to my grandma about saying I thought we weren't having shrimp cocktail this year. Her response, (mind you my grandma is 5' tall, weighs under 110 lbs and is generally class..."We're not, that garbage just smells like rotten pussy." Yeah.

Uncle Krackhead showed up with his Krackhead girlfriend. Who proceeded to:

1. Take 15 minutes to "move her car"
2. Pass out on the couch sitting up multiple times
3. Regale us with stories about how she shops at Salvation Army
4. Disappear after dinner every 15 minutes (with my uncle)

Classic.

Next my mom, dad and I went to visit a couple friends and their family. First a friend of mine (which was fun but uneventful so we'll skip it). Then a friend of my brothers, which is where things got interesting. I met shoe designers (who were twin brothers) who were hot enough to get me to eat Chitlins (which I do not recommend, however if you're forced to eat them, Frank's Red Hot is a must).

There's more, but I have a 30 page paper due Wednesday which I've barely started so it'll have to wait.

Listen Up!

I've been on an Amy Winehouse kick lately and I thought I'd share the wealth. If you're only going to listen to to one I recommend "You Know I'm No Good" or "Fuck Me Pumps".

Rehab: (The first single off her latest album. Her response to her fathers attempts to get her to go to rehab).



You Know I'm No Good: (The second single off her latest album).



Beat It: (Her performance on the Charlotte Church show, proving she most likely should have listened to her father).


Fuck Me Pumps: (No intro needed).

"The pollsters had to be impressed with the way Michigan has played."

My bitterness has resided. I'm going out to Cali to visit my brother (who is a USC student) next week and we have tickets to USC v. Notre Dame. I wonder how pissed he'll be when I show up dressed like leprechaun?

It's Great to be a Michigan Wolverine.

Apparently, I saw a different game than the rest of the country.

Any feelings from the loss is outshadowed by my hatred for the BCS and Brent Musberger.

What's making me sad is Bo's death. I'm not too proud to admit I teared up when they showed the Blue Schembechler Hall sign covered in yellow flowers and when I heard from a friend that in an interview this week he said he wished he "could watch the game with Woody."

Bo was Michigan football. To quote another late, great Michigan Football icon, "Bless his Maize and Blue Heart."

Reason #87,007 I HATE Law School

I'm sure I've written before about how law school really ruins watching a lot of TV shows without having my internal monologue (read: voices in my head) start yelling "No, that isn't how it's done...UGGG! You are son wrong. Friggin' Idiot!"

Just in the last week I freaked out when:

1. Watching an episode of Dawson's Creek. Dawson's father had died and had forgotten to sign the codicile which added Dawson's infant sister Lily to the trust. Dawson freaked out and used this failure to sign the codicile as a way to be mad at his father since he didn't want to be mad at him for the fight they had immediate before the death of his father.

• My thoughts: I'm sure Massachusetts has some sort of excluded child provision, calm down Dawson.

2. Watching an episode of What About Brian. Brian's friends were getting divorced and both (at the same time) tried to retain their friend to represent the both of them in their divorce. The "lawyer" friend advised them that they should "probably" seek separate counsel since these things can get messy.

• My thoughts: It's rule #1 of avoiding conflicts not to represent the husband and wife in a divorce?

Way to go law school, ruining crappy television for me. I hate you.

I Feel Like...

the old, bitter, jaded blogger in comparison to all these 1L blogs I came across today. I bet 1/2 my links don't work. Plus I found a blawg that uses my original template and has a similar "theme." Sigh. I suppose this weekend I'll update my blogroll, so if I'm missing stuff let me know since I'm sure it'll be cleaned out.

On the plus side, [best friend] and I just bought 4th row Christina Aguilera, Pussycat Dolls and Dannity Kane tickets. (Yes. I am THAT cool). My favorite response came from my "Gay Husband" who said:

You'll be able to see X-Tina's cooch from there.

Which, I can state with authority is true since I saw her in high school on the "chaps" tour (as I call it) from the 7th row and I totally could see it then.

Worst. Date. Ever.

Dr. Feel Good is out of the picture and this weekend I went on what can only be described as the worst date of my life. The only plus was I got to see Borat and had B-Dubs Spicy Garlic Boneless Wings.

What made it so bad?

1. He was boring.
2. He tried to put his hand on my leg during the movie, which left me squirming to try and get him to move it.
3. As a result of act #2 I also spent the entire movie leaning over the opposing armrest, since that is comfortable.
4. His Mazda 6 was dropped down.
5. In addition to this car being dropped his vanity plate read "Drop 6."
6. Said Mazda 6 was a stick shift, which he purchased without knowing how to drive one. He claimed he was "self taught." It showed.
7. He was into collecting things. Namely going to autograph signings. He told a 10 minute story about how he had Linkin Park sign a Ben Wallace jersey since "it would be something nobody else had." Way to deface a Ben Wallace jersey, you douche.
8. His collections also included Beanie Babies. Seriously.
9. At B-Dubs he had 3 Long Islands (at which point I refused to ride with him-and figured I'd just have friend come get me). Except he insisted I drive his car "since I claim to know so much about driving a stick."
10. He was soooooo boring.
11. He appeared clueless about the fact that there was no chemistry whatsoever, which was proven the next day when he called and IMed me like 50 times.

Highlight of the Weak

[Hours] standing around with all the young female attorney's gossiping about the Britney/Fed-Ex split.

Reader Request

I had a request last week (or sometime, whatever) to do another post about all the products I use. Clearly it's a bit excessive since I tend to get bored with things so I have to keep a variety. Which I wasn't going to do out of respect for my male readers, but then I realized the Holidays season is fast approaching and I might be doing some of their wives, girlfriends, sisters, and mothers a favor; so here it is...

Shampoos:

• Colour Conserve Conditioner
• Personal Blends
• Dumb Blonde
• Ultimate Shine Shampoo Bar
• The Blonde Solid Shampoo
• Trichomania Shampoo Bar

Conditioners:

• Colour Conserve Conditioner
• Colour Conserve Strengthing Treatment
• Damage Remedy Restructuring Conditioner
• Damage Remedy Intensive Restructuring Treatment
• Personal Blends Conditioner
• Dumb Blonde
• Jungle

Body Washes:

• Calming
• Ginger Burst
• Ginger with a Twist
• Gloomaway (Discontinued-and I'm devastated)
• Happy Soap
• Karma Soap

Body Scrubs:

• Caribbean Therapy Scrub
• Smoothing Body Polish
• Incredible Spreadable Sea Salt Scrub

Face Washes:

• Checks and Balances
• Coalface (or as I call it "Annie Hall")

Face Scrubs:

• Never a Dull Moment
• Modern Friction (Great substitute to microderm abrasion)

Bath Stuff:

• Caribbean Therapy Bath Soak
• Gloomaway Bubble Bath (Discontinued-and again I'm devastated)
• Ginger Float
• Float Away

The Sunny Side

Today is already kicking ass.

1. Dems have control of the House and are poised to take the Senate.
2. Rummy is out.
3. All the ballot initiatives regarding partial birth abortion and mandatory parental consent failed.
4. I finished my motion and brief in under 4 hours (and it's damn good).
5. Yesterday Britney Announced her "Fed-Ex".

I have such a girl boner right now.

I Just Finished a Motion for Summary Disposition...

And it's left me sure of one thing...

Proofreading is for pussies.

Britney Dumps K-Fed!

FINALLY!

100,000

Just before 10:00 last night this blog logged it's 100,000^th hit from somewhere in Kansas. While It's impossible to tell how many hits I've actually gotten since I didn't have a sitemeter for the first 5 or 6 months here I still take it as a bit of a milestone.

I'll Take It.

In a vain attempt to prove he isn't pure evil [Hours] got me a gift certificate for a massage as a thank you. The masseuse told me one thing I knew, and one thing I didn't. Apparently, I'm one of the most tense people she'd ever worked on. I also have the nicest skin of anyone she'd ever worked on.

"You know, Mrs. Buckman..."

CNN is bursting with headlines dealing with stellar parents today.

First up is the lady who gave birth to a full term baby without realizing she was pregnant.

Second is the lesson that "Duct Tape is no Substitute for a Babysitter."

------------------------------------------------

"You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father"

Naming Posts Annoys Me.

I just researched and wrote a Summary Disposition motion and Brief in Support for my Pretrial class in 3 hours. Coffee wasn't really even necessary. In fairness I think I should have put the laptop away and written it in crayon, but I'm done with it for the evening.

Training Day

After almost 2.5 years of law school my family has figured out that if I brew coffee after 7 p.m. they should not even bother talking to me. Now I just have to find a way to transfer this over to "never talk to me at all" when I'm studying for the bar.

More Apathy.

Today I was sitting around talking to a friend about the current state of the law in the field we practice, the upcoming election, and life in general.

There was an older gentleman sitting near us, who once my friend left questioned where I worked based on what we had been talking about.

Of course he knew [Hours], and proceeded to say how he's "a pretty nice guy" and then kinda get a look on his face which seemed to communicate "is he still a complete ass?"

I just gave him a smile and said "yeah he's a nice guy, and it's never boring."

Apathy.

Have I been posting less? I feel I've been posting less. Lucky for you I'm not about to embark on a P.E.D.E. like The Hot Librarian. Nobody wants that.

The long and the short. School sucks. I have a Summary Disposition Motion (and Brief in Support) due Wednesday which I've barely worked on. I realized today that it was going to be a A LOT more work than my previous estimates had led me to believe. Normally I'd just not work tomorrow, but [Hours] has a presentation he's giving this weekend (read: I do all the research, create the powerpoint and the handouts for the presentation and he gets to copyright it and put it on his resume) and he's made me swear on my life that I'd be in tomorrow.

Currently [Hours] and I are in an epic power struggle. I refused to do some work which I was morally against and ever since then he's been on a quest to teach me that "the only thing that is important in my life is what comes out of his mouth." Therefore I've been on a quest to be as defiant as I possibly can be while still giving him the illusion that I'm submitting to him in order to keep the workplace environment less hostile. It's a very healthy relationship we're cultivating.

Plus I'm realizing that I can't leave my job since:

1. I'd lose my bonus, which would be sad. Stupid me for saving all my monthly bonuses for meeting my hours until the end of the year.
2. I'm a 3L who is graduating in May. Nobody will want to hire me.

I wish I had stuff to write about, but in reality school is the same (law students are still socially inept, nothing is going to change there) and work has gotten to a point where if I blogged about what was happening it would be very clear it was me since [Hours] has gotten so out of hand. La Di Da.

#2

Once again Detroit loses to St. Louis. This time it hurt less.

Yet Another Reason I Do Not Understand Men...

Tonight [Best Friend] and I went to see some friends of ours who are in a band play. It was a Halloween themed gig and while all the other females took it as an opportunity to dress like sluts wear outfits that barely covered their ass, we decided to go as a couples costume. Namely, Bacon and Eggs (I was the egg). We went in under the assumption that we'd look like weirdos, but that it would be fun, so who cares. What I hadn't planned for was getting hit on, a lot.

Let me preface this with the fact that when we go out generally we're with a group of our guy friends so generally while we get checked out, we rarely get approached. That, and we're so hot that guys are afraid to talk to us.

Tonight I was hit on NON STOP. I practically went into shock. Some of the choice pick up lines:

• "I must say, you look delicious."
• "You look like you need to scrambled"
• "I'm hoping you're over easy."
• "I'll assume that's what you want me to make you for breakfast tomorrow morning."
• "Do you need to be flipped or are you ready for me now?"
• "I don't eat pork, but I'd eat the hell out of an egg."

The strange part was that the "skankily clad" girls seemed to be getting left alone. Plus my ex kept nagging me to dance with him.

So Weird. So. Weird.

Boy Oh Boy...

All day my underwear was riding up, which I found to be odd since I had my favorite pair of boyshorts on. At first I thought that the obvious cause of this was that my behind had grown substantially overnight. Now it has become clear to me that I wore them backwards.

How Does it Feel?

Apparently, there is a show on Broadway featuring butchering the music of Bob Dylan. I can't imagine Bob is ok with this:

Recently...

I came to the decision that I hate all of my father's family and that I'm sick of dealing with them and all their issues. I was also recently diagnosed (again-I'm finally starting to believe it) as having atypical depression.

Was this ever a law blog? I really do not remember writing about the law or anything related to it.

Reply All

A 1L replying all to a job posting is somewhat understandable. 2L doing it is just pathetic. I won't even touch on the giddiness thus guy exhibited.

I haven't used the reply all feature since I was a senior in high school and I all my friends who had went off to college were all sending around updates on their status and how classes were going. In a fit of bitterness I typed up something complaining about all my classes but ranting in particular about my Honors English class and how the teacher was giving us juvenile work such as journals and even the real work that we did turn in she didn't bother to grade. Needless to say, that teacher had been included in all the emails for whatever reason and ever since then I've been spectical of the reply all button.

Princess Grace

So far today I have managed to:

1. Slip on a banana peel. Seriously.
2. Walk directly into the glass door to the computer lab which I know you need to enter a code in order to open.

Yeah.

Dear Life,

I hate you. We should break up.

With utter disdain and contempt,
Elle Woods

Do Your Job.

Once again Blockbuster never ceases to amaze me. A little background: Granted, I have netflix so there really isn't a need for me to "leave the house" for such things as movies, but back when Grey's Anatomy came out on DVD I wanted to see it right away and Netty had "short wait." So I went and rented them. The lady tried (and succeeded) in trying to get me to join some "rewards" program. The benefits of the reward system were as follows:

1. A free rental after you rented 5
2. A free "favorites" with the rental of a new release Monday-Wednesday
3. A free "favorite" each month

Given that I was getting 5 movies at that time, I figured it was worth it. I, however rambled on about how I didn't know why I was doing this since I had netflix. This prompted her to give me a code for a month free of blockbuster online. When I entered the code, it didn't work right, so I pulled out my junior lawyer card and wrote a strongly worded letter. Blockbuster responded by adding 4 weeks free to the 2 week free trial, a move I appreciated. Anyway, blockbuster online comes with a coupon for a free instore rental each week.

Anyway, all this basically means that on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I can get 3 movies and pay for one. In theory. However trying to get this through the store clerks is like pulling teeth. Literally I've been through this with them 4 times. Then they look at me like I'm a total BITCH for daring to question whatever skills it takes to incorrectly ring up videos. Then they act like I'm the one holding up the other customers. Call me crazy, but maybe you screwing things up is causing the slow down.

Ok, whatever, I don't have a point other than the fact that I'm one rant away from a whole new level of bitter.

Typical.

So I made it almost 3 days without wireless (really only one when I was around) before I caved. I returned a pair of shoes I'd recently bought...Seriously I chose something over shoes, that is a first for me, and it's not even summer when I can use my computer outside.

Anyway, I bought the new router and then I had to go about installing it. I should note here that my last one was installed my a gracious friend who allowed me to pay him in homemade lasagna and white russians.

So I set about installing it. Filled with false confidence, since my dad as assured me that you just pop in the CD and follow the steps.

Everything is going great, until I get to the part where I setup the wireless. I try twice on my laptop. Twice on the desktop. Each time the hangup is that I don't know the username or password. By this time I've read through all the paperwork, no mention of a username or password.

Then I hassled aLs for a bit. No help at all, just as I suspected.

Finally I call tech-support for the router which is supposed to be offered "at a reasonable price." I pulled out my junior lawyer card, told them I was missing my username and password and as such I should not be charged for tech support since it was their fault I didn't said information.

Next the guy asks for the serial number, and tells me to check the bottom of the router for it, at which time I notice the username and password are clearly printed just under the serial number.

Luckily I wasn't charged and I am again able to use my computer in bed without the fear of being strangled.

Weekend Update...

My wireless is out so expect posting to be semi-shoddy until I get the money together for a new wireless router and/or start going to class. (So that should be around January).

Dr. Feel Good and I were at the Tigers game on Saturday. I'd be lying if I said I thought the Tigers could do it at the start of the season. In reality, I think the only person I know who actually thought they could is a friend of mine who is featured in this video.

Ohh, and umm...Michigan, yeah, they're number #2 in the AP Poll. So hott.

Sexy Sunday #8

Ok, so I forgot last week. But I'm making up for it this week. With a classic.

There's No Crying in Baseball!

In honor of the Tigers going to the World Series, I bring you my 3 favorite quotes from Baseball movies of all time. Anyone who can name all of them without cheating will be entered in a contest to re-enact what is described in #3.

1. You put snot on the ball?
2. You're killing me Smalls!
3. Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days...Goodnight.

It's Great to be a Michigan Wolverine.

Ohh Ohio. You and your colourful residents never cease to amaze me.

Frigid

Bill, More, and Hours has been freezing, being that it's snowing outside and all. I was just informed by a girl in my class who works in the same building that the management is refusing to turn the heat on until "November" (no word on what time).

I'm so going to end up stealing a secretaries sweater.

Criminal of the Day

The client of my friend (the Public Defender) who wants to "sue the pigs" for "theft" since they refused to "give back her coke" when she was arrested for Drunk Driving (and possession of cocaine).

What is the world coming to when the cops won't give back your blow?

Over Generalization of the Day:

People with Jesus Fish/Bumper Stickers/License Plates are the worst drivers. This also includes people who have "God" as their co-pilot.

Welcome to My Nightmare

I just woke up from one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. Worse then the one I had as a kid where snakes were climbing up my heating ducks and my parents had to buy me an ALF doll. Since ALF stayed up all night and ate cats it seemed logical to my young mind that ALF would be up all night anyway and since we didn't have cats he'd have to eat the snakes.

Interestingly enough, the first thing I likened the dream to was law school.

I was a prison guard, who was somewhat of mentor to a prisoner. However, this wasn't just any prisoner, it was a childhood friend.

There was a prisoner, who happened to be a white supremacist, who arrived at the prison and seemed to have a vendetta against me.

So the prisoner started a prison riot, just so he could come after my friend and I. At which point, I bashed him in the face with a chair, repeatedly. I'm a non-violent person, so the sight of this was understandingly upsetting.

Then once the riot was over he again attacked me. This time I woke up just as he had pinned me to the ground to most likely rape me.

Why did I liken all this to law school?

1. The same childhood friend is a year behind me in a law school and I serve as a mentor to her there.
2. What was the prisoner wearing? Ohh, a shirt sporting my law school's name. What else?

My subconscious is turning law school into violent torture dreams.

Help! I need Somebody!

I have a friend who I have known since I was 5 years old. He is an engineer, and is considering law school. Nothing I say to discourage this is getting through to him.

Hence, I need your help with stories and advice to get through to him that law school is an awful idea. E-Mail me at legallyblondeblog@gmail.com and hopefully together we can talk him out of this.

Special Law Student at Play

I had to take today off so I could work on:

1. Interrogatories for Pretrial which are due tomorrow.
2. A dep outline for Pretrial for a dep I'm taking tomorrow.
3. An outline and source list for a 30 page paper; which, in reality, was due Thursday of last week but I didn't happen to notice it on my "Tasks List" or my "Calendar" or the "Syllabus" when I looked at it on Tuesday of last week.

I've known I had all of this since about Thursday of last week, but what I did I do last weekend? Watched the Michigan/Michigan State game, watched the Tigers crush the Yankees, and painted my parents house while they were out of town.

I really should have taken my "labor intensive" classes last year.

You, You Got What I Need

I heard "Just a friend" by Biz Markie on the radio today. Sheer genius. I dare you to watch the video and not smile.




--------------------------------------------------
"She had 9-10 pants and a very big bra."

Marijuana may stave off Alzheimer's

Isn't it ironic?

The Brent Musberger Drinking Game

I found this little game sometime after the end of the college football season last year and have been saving it. I thought Michigan/Michigan State Week would be a good time to share it.

1. "The Pardner": A person is picked to be the Pardner at the beginning of the game. The first time Brent says "Pardner," the Pardner has to take 1 drink, and then picks someone else to be the Pardner. The next time Brent says it, the new Pardner has to take 2 drinks, and then pick a new Pardner, and so on and so on. The Pardner must wear a special "Pardner" hat.
2. "Folks": Everyone drinks 1 when Brent says "Folks." However, if Brent says "Hold on Folks", everyone must drink once but the first person to drink has to finish their drink for not holding on.
3. "It's a foot race!": Whenever Brent says "It's a foot race" everyone has to finish their drink. The first one done becomes "That Man" and gets to punch the Pardner in the arm.
4. "There's that man again": After someone becomes "That Man," they get to give away 3 drinks to someone of their choosing the next time Brent says "That Man." That person then becomes "That Man." If Brent says "That Man" before "It's a footrace," The Pardner becomes That Man. If The Pardner becomes That Man first, he gets to punch the new That Man in the arm twice after giving away the 3 drinks. There must also be a special hat for "That Man."
5. "Dr. Pepper": Every time Brent says "Dr. Pepper" everyone has to yell out "I'M A PEPPER!" and take 2 drinks. Afterwards, each person must give out a satisfied "AAAAAAAHHHHH!", as if in a Dr. Pepper commercial. Anyone who fails to do so must drink again.
6. "Jack Arute": Whenever Brent says "Our ol' buddy Jack Arute" everyone has to say "AROOOOOOT!" Last one to do it has to do a shot. If everyone does it simultaneously, the Pardner must do a shot.
7. "In the college game": Whenever Brent says this little gem, everyone must say "Shut the f**k up Brent", drink 2, and punch the Pardner in the arm.
8. Mentioning a Big 12 (ed.) school during a Big 10 (ed.) game: Whenever Brent does this, the first person who names the Big 12 (ed.) school's mascot gets to make somebody drink for 11 seconds, since there's 11 schools in the Big 10.
9. Calling a touchdown before the player actually scores: For example, during an interception return, Brent says "It's a touchdown!" before the player actually scores. In this case, everyone must start drinking and continue to drink until the player actually does score. If by some odd event, the player does NOT score, everyone must finish their drink.
10. "Gary, my man": Whenever Brent says "Gary, my man", the Pardner gets to choose someone to be Gary. From that point on, that person must be referred to as "Gary, my man" until the game is over. "Gary, my man" gets to give away 5 drinks the rest of the game any time Brent says "Gary, my man". If someone talks to "Gary, my man" without calling him that, they have to do a shot. If there is someone playing the game actually named Gary, that person is automatically "Gary, my man".
11. "The Major": If Brent has a pet nickname for one of the players during the game, for example calling Major Applewhite "The Major", everyone must drink 5 anytime Brent uses this nickname. However, "Gary, my man" does not drink but gets to give away 5 drinks since this person already has a nickname of their own.
12. "John Saunders": The first time Brent quips with John Saunders, everyone must drink 1. The next time, everyone must drink 2, and so on and so on.
13. In the booth: Whenever there's a camera shot of Brent in the booth, the Pardner must make a toast to Brent. After the toast, everyone must drink 1.
14. "My Friend": Every Pardner gets to choose a "Friend." The friend must always get up to get the Pardner another drink (since the Pardner will be doing quite a bit of that). However, when Brent utters "My Friend" the friend gets to punch the Pardner in the arm for making him get up so much.

WARNING! Play at your own risk.

Fair and Balanced

Perderass? Perfers boys? Must be a democrat! Don't do any further research into it. Nevermind all those mentions that Dennis Hastert (R-Illinois) helped to cover it up for a year.

Family Ties

Once again my family proves it's bizarre...

Grandpa: I went and looked at a Thai restaurant today, I was thinking of buying it. The owner had the hots for me.

Me: Ohh?

Grandpa: Yeah, so I told her about my friend Jeff who is married to an asian. He says you haven't screwed until you've screwed an asian...She said "I show you."

Me: Yeah umm, I have some school work to do.

Parking Garage

Hours: I thought you drove a Prius or some earth friendly crap like that.

Me: I used to.

Hours: And now you drive this?

Me: Yeah. I was sick of driving a little car in the snow and barely being able to get out of my driveway.

Hours: I hope you know that's a chick car.

Me: Well; first off, I am a chick; second, you drive a "truck" which is basically the same; and third, if anything mine is MORE manly since yours doesn't allow you to choose when it goes into 4-Wheel Drive like mine does.

Hours: Mine's black, that means it's inherently NOT a chick car. Plus I'm about to buy [dream car].

Me: Relying on color to prove you don't have a chick car really is an interesting approach. Plus you're getting your dream car used.

Hours: Keep it up and I might be able to afford a new one once I won't have to pay you.

Me: That logic is worse than "my car isn't a chick car since it's black," you'd make less without me around. Face it, you're stuck with me now that [ASSociate] is gone.

Hours: I know.

Dear CNN,

I know we've had our differences in the past, but I still visit you with the hope that maybe we'll be able to rekindle our love affair. However, I'm really starting to question your judgment when this:


Is your picture for the story entitled "Girls Executed, Boys let go." Strange choice; strange, strange choice.

Hugs and Kisses,
Elle Woods

Blawging the BLUEBOOK: Things That Go Bump in the Night

So, I agreed to partake in this since it seems like fun. Don't ask me questions since I do not know the answer. Anything with citations is beyond me as I think we all know.

The Rules:

1. DON'T CHEAT!
2. Have it back within a week. (Deadline is next Monday, 9th, at noon).
3. Send your answers to MiMonAiM@aim.com.
4. Winner is whoever has all correct the fastest.
5. MiM has the final authority on who wins.

The Prizes:

1. A .jpg trophy with your name on it designed by the fabulous aLs.
2. Choose one topic for every participating blawger to post on the following Monday.
3. Choose the contest topic for the following month.
4. A FREE T-SHIRT of your choosing from MiM's stores Here or Here.
5. A kiss from yours truly...Ok, maybe I made that one up.

The Questions:

1. Which blawger is described by the following rhyme?

This blawgger is always in a state of fright,
That a zombie attack might go bump in the night,
This student is no fool,
He knows zombies will eventually attack his law school,
So even though you might think he's a sap,
This blawger drew up a tactical law school zombie map.

2. In her post, "And now for today's Sexuality and the Law reading excerpt," Ruth quoted an old Plymouth Colony law involving conversing with devils. Which two devils are named in that post? Amicus Curiae, March 2006.

3. On July 20th, Lily Graypure says that she's never seen a ghost or been posessed by a demon. She then claims that never seeing a ghost or demon or feeling the hand of god is evidence that its ok for her to go into corportate law. Why? LawSchoolVirgin, July 2006.

4. The littlest tortfeasor thought that a middle-of-the-night car accident sounded like ________, which is why she blatantly ignored it and went back to bed. Little Tortfeasor, September 2006.

5. The casts of what two 1980’s shows sang at Moonlighting in Misery’s wedding in his post A Midnight Visit from the Ghosts of Posts Past? Moonlighting in Misery, September 2004.

6. When is it acceptable for a one year old to have breasts the size of oranges? 3 Blind Mice and a Sister-In-Law, September 2006.

7. This blawger shows her patroitic side by who she wants to bump her in the night. Who is it she wants?. Legally Blonde, August 2006.

8. One member of this blawger’s study group wrote herself a simple note of one thing she had to do the night before the final. She wrote it on her outline. What did the note say? The Namby Pamby, May 2006.

Sexy Sunday #7

Since the Housewhores are back, I bring you everyone's favorite homewrecker.

"I'd take State."

Seriously, can someone please explain to me why John L. Smith slapped himself? He's starting to come off as a little crazy.

The clip has been all over the news here, not sure if it's been getting as much national coverage since I can't seem to find it anywhere online.

I'm sure all the state fans out there are excited to see their coach is off his rocker a week before the U of M game.

The Body...Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Take the quiz:
Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?

Heidi Klum
You are a girly girl and love pink!

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Scenes From an Italian Restaurant

Scene: Dr. Feel Good and I are having dinner, after he's had the pleasure of meeting my entire family when they happened to be there (despite my best efforts to dispel them) when he came to pick me up.

Dr. Feel Good: You family seems to have a bit of identity crisis.

Elle Woods: That's one way to put it, you are going into psych so I'm sure you have other ways.

Dr. Feel Good: No it's just, you're very Nordic looking and yet...Your mother's skin is roughly the color of my oak dining room table, yet her hair is blonder then yours-which I suspect is not a natural occurrence, your father has olive skin and black hair, and your grandmother just made me taste the spiciest mexican food I've ever eaten.

Elle Woods: Wow you didn't even touch on my grandpa.

Dr. Feel Good: Wasn't going to go near him walking around in his underwear with a 10' pole.

S is for Smart.

This morning I saw a license plate resembling this:


I decided I had to speed up to see what tool would have that license plate, particularly after seeing this lovely plate last month.

The driver was applying her makeup, while driving 70 mph down a 3 lane freeway with 20 foot concrete walls. Sparty on!

"I got to say it was a good day."

I did really well in my mock dep for pretrial today. I was the only person who was able to turn around the hostile witness, which in turn allowed me to get a lot more information. Then again, these are law students, the majority of which are law reviewers,¹ who "lack social skills" so I guess I'm not really surprised that they were unable to be congenial.

My favorite part was when one of them asked the witness if they'd ever put meat in their toaster. Classic.

While it was cool that I did well and people noticed, I was rather put off that they were all whispering about how I was doing as I was taking the deposition. I was also annoyed that they seemed semi-surprised by it. Just because I don't choose to memorize the U.C.C. doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing.

¹I'm referencing these particular law reviewers, since I personally know them and know they lack some social skills, not all law reviewers in general. Plus as we all know most law students lack social skills anyway so it most likely had nothing to do with them being law reviewers, I just wanted to point out I did better than then did.

Laziness.

Why I ever took pre-trial advocacy is really a mystery to me. Drafting a complaint, answer, 2 sets of interrogatories and requests to produce, 2 answers to interrogatories and requests to produce, a Summary Disposition Motion and a Response to a Summary Disposition Motion. And, as an added bonus; not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 depositions taken in front of my peers and the opprotunity to argue 2 Summary Disposition Motions in front of my peers.

For someone who attended their Criminal Procedure II class once this all seems a bit intense, so needless to say, I'm cutting corners wherever I can. Today my first interrogatories are due. The "case" is in Federal Court so I'm limited to 25 interrogatories. I decided to stay well within the rules and submit 18.

Yet another reason 3L is better than 1L.

Love or Law School?

Much has been written about love and law school, and how for women in particular, it's no secret that they generally don't mix.

The issue has come to my attention again recently as a friend of mine (male), who is an engineer has started dating a cocktail waitress. For the record and before anyone jumps down my throat for "judging" people with less education, I have met her and I have talked with her. Well, we more talked at each other, since we had nothing to talk about. It's the old cliche about how the more educated a woman is the less likely she is to get married.

Add to that the fact that women with professional degrees tend to be very career oriented and have no intention of getting married before 30 and things are further complicated by the fact that, as aLs so tactfully put it:

By the time you're 30 and guy your age who you'd be interested in marrying is going to be stable enough financially to be going after 23-25 year olds.

Thanks aLs, I love you too. Luckily, I've always liked older men. However for those ladies not willing to marry 5-10 years out of their age bracket that generally leaves the options of:

1. Cat Lady
2. Sperm Bank
3. Holding out until you're really really rich and can get a trophy boyfriend/hubby

(Not that my prospects are much better even though I tend to like older guys).

In addition the whole "women don't generally marry down" issue there is the timing issue. Very few men are able to understand our schedules during law school, or after, and the ones who can are generally just as busy, which makes a relationship nearly impossible. What man really wants a wife who is 12 hours a day, and brings home more work and takeout chinese?

What's my point here? I don't really have one. As usual. I just think it sucks.

Maybe my point is lately I've gone on a few dates with this Doctor (who we shall call Dr. Feel Good). Who is very nice, but also very average. I've never been one to settle for average at anything in life. But is there a point (and I seriously hope that point is not age 23) at which you give up that whole quest for "all consuming love, can't live without you love" as they put it on Sex and the City, and just settle down with someone who you have the same taste in movies with, can talk to, and enjoy being around?

This article that Moonlighting in Misery wrote about, seems to make me think maybe. If love is just a chemical produced in your brain that wears off after 2 years then aren't we better off just going for someone who we have common interests with and can talk to?

3L is the Best.

I have a presentation at 6:10. I've yet to prepare for it at all. I also have yet to buy (and do not intend to buy) the book for the class.

Because I'm a Master Negotiator.

Ella (spanish pronounciation, just like Jesus the iPod) the SUV and I went over to my parents so I could show her off. The following ensued...

Dad: Pop the hood.
Me: Hold on let me figure out how.
Dad: Please tell me you didn't buy a car without at least looking under the hood and pretending to interested.
Me: I didn't.
Dad: Good, so you looked?
Me: No, I leased it.
Dad: [Elle]?
Me: Yeah?
Dad: Please tell me you knew you got the big engine.
Me: Now I do.
Dad: How you got as good a deal as you did is beyond me.