Monday, February 9, 2009

Ike Turner

So, since I disappeared off the face of the earth I've dated two guys. I'll start with the second.

We dated for about two months. During those two months I started to progressively notice warning signs which told me it probably wasn't going to last. Everything was always my fault. I was the one who never compromised.1 I never wanted to spend time with his friends. I didn't want to introduce him to my friends, and then when I made plans to do just that he didn't feel up to it (which probably had a lot to do with the flat screen TV arriving that day). Not to mention during one fight he flipped out and started throwing things and grabbed Theodore's leash from my hand. Seriously. Not. Cool. I abruptly left, and by that time I was rather sure things were not going to work out with Ike Turner and myself.

So, the day after Christmas we were exchanging gifts. I had knitted him a hat and scarf (which he'd commented that he wanted) and I'd gotten him something I'd heard him comment he'd wanted. Between the very nice yarn I used ($50.00 in yarn) and the other item I spent about $150.00, plus my time. He got me a Starbucks gift set (since I like coffee), a $50.00 visa gift card (just leave the cash on the nightstand next time) and a poem he'd written and signed "love." We hadn't used the "L" word yet, and being that I was pretty certain things weren't going anywhere, I wasn't even considering saying it. Now, anyone who has had this word said to them and not returned it knows the word has a self life of an expired dairy product. We ordered dinner that night and he commented how he was going to get a movie, I replied "there are so many here, why don't we just pick one together." But, no. He had his mind made up. He got some shitty movie I had no desire to watch. So I went about my knitting and just ignored it. That was not good enough. It just further proved that I am not interested in what he is and I cannot be bothered to fain interest. Nevermind that I compromised by shutting up and watching his crappy movie.

Anyway, a huge fight ensued. There was crying (on his behalf)2. There was screaming (on his behalf). I just largely ignored it, told him to drop it since he'd been drinking. But he wouldn't. He kept pushing the issue that I don't care about what he cares about. So while I had decided not to mention the shitty gift he got me much earlier, I could not contain it any longer. I politely pointed out how much thought I'd put into his gift and that he couldn't even manage to get a gift card for a specific store. He never asked what I wanted or where I shopped. There was more crying (on his behalf). I decided it was over and packed my things to leave. More screaming ensued. All childish and insulting in nature, my favorite being that I'd never be happy and that I'm a miserable person.

The irony, ever since I dumped him I've been so happy just to be out of a totally dysfunctional and messed up relationship I've been practically glowing.

1This one really pissed me off. Just because I don't make a big fuss about something does not mean I didn't compromise. A lot of my compromises are silent.