Group Therapy

A friend of mine needs your help. Here is the situation:

A few weeks ago a girl messaged him on facebook saying she "liked his picture" and asking "whats up" (sic). He ignored it. A week later she wrote back the same thing. This time he wrote back "Thanks." She wrote back, asking if he "wanted to hookup." He asked for a clarification of "hookup" and said replied "bang."

He is torn between banging "strange" as he calls it. And the very real possibility that I keep bringing up that she is a psycho/disease spreading whore/killer/legal bachelor's ex/psycho.

I saw a picture of the chick. He gives her a 5, but upgrades her to a 6 due to huge breasts. I would give her a 6, but bump her down to a 5 for obvious fake breasts.

Despite my warnings, he still wants to hook up with her. Basically since he likes the idea of having a girl knock on the door and having sex 3 minutes later. I think the idea of letting her know where you live, or walking into a death trap at her place, plus the disease potential vastly outweighs his chance to get some "strange."

Thoughts? Feel free to comment anonymously on this one, but do include if you're male or female since he thinks it'll be split down "party" lines while I think most people male or female who are not idiots can agree this is a bad idea.

"If It Wasn't For Date Rape I'd Never Get Laid."

As I've been updating my iPod I'm realizing some of the songs on it I could never listen to at work. Which made me wonder if there is some kind of statute of limitations on listening to certain, shall we say, explicit songs; and if there is a statute of limitations when does it run? I think we can all agree there is nothing cool about a 50 year old listening to Date Rape by Sublime.

The Body...Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Take the quiz:
Which Victoria's Secret Angel are you?

Heidi Klum
You are a girly girl and love pink!

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

Really?

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

The only word I seem to be able to read in that description is "emaciated", which is really making me question it's reliability.

As Seen on.

Wednesday Wants to Know

After a brief hiatus, it's back. Yes, it's the wee hours of Tuesday-but we wanted to give everyone sufficient time to answer. We know you all love this incarnation of the blog meme, so TheNambyPamby and I couldn't just stop. This week's topic is the sanity inducing life blood, coursing through the veins of bitter law students everywhere: Alcohol.

This week's trifecta:

Question 1

• a). What's the best drink to aid you to make your mind an etch-a-sketch? Dry Gin Martini's; up, neat.
• b). What will you sip/nurse/chug when you are in a social setting and you cannot appear to be a lush? Depends on the setting red wine or vodka/crans are a good way to go. I don't really know, since I usually look like a lush so I guess it doesn't matter. I try to generally avoid drinking at work functions since there is a really fine line between "tipsy" and "drunk" Elle and I don't want anyone I work with to see me cross it.
  
• c). Some say you are being cultured, others say you are an alcoholic; when drinking alone, what is your poison of choice? Caucasians, or White Russians for those of you who don't speak "Lebowsk-ese"

Question 2

• What has your drunk-ass done to embarass the shit out of yourself the most? Seriously there are just WAY too many to even try to narrow it down. Yeah, I know that probably means I "have a drinking problem" but screw you for judging me. I'll just link to a story The Dude just posted since it's hilarious and if anyone has more crazy drunk stories then me, it's him. Scratch that, he definitely does.
  

Question 3

• In your best Thomas Crown impression, what is the best way to debonairly buy a person you are attracted to a drink? I've never bought a guy a drink outside of when I'm out with my guy friends and I feel compelled to buy a round of shots (read: I'm wasted), so I don't really have a "smooth" way to do it. As for guys buying drinks; I think when they ask if they can buy you one it's lame. Grow a set of balls and send a drink over to me.
  

As always, we invite you to join in the comments here, over at TheNambyPamby, or by posting it on your own blog [just be sure to give us the shout out¹]. We are always accepting of topics and questions, if you have good ones please shoot us an e-mail.

¹People had questions about "Trackback" before-if you link to the post itself and not just the blog Haloscan will magically put a link to your blog in the [Stalkers]/[Trackback] part of our blog depending on who you link to,

Wednesday Wants to Know

It's Back!!! Week Two's Topic: Classroom etiquette, or lack thereof.

1) What is your favorite classroom distraction? Freecell (I've played over 2000 games since September...Keep in mind I missed a month of class and slept through about 2 weeks due to mono) and Text Twist (I have the downloaded version since my ghetto school does not have internet in the classrooms).

2) What is your classroom attendance/behavior policy? [This is a handy reference guide] NEVER, I REPEAT NEVER, take absences home in your pocket. I usually try to limit myself (if a class allows 4 I try to just use one a month) but that never works and so I usually just e-mail Professors when I know I'm going to miss with some lame excuse (no comments about my professional ethics people)...This way I can usually miss a fair amount of class and not have my grades harmed. Last semester was the best, I'd exhausted all my absences in all my classes and then I got mono and missed a month of school. (Ohh and I got my best grades in law school thus far). I didn't even hand in a doctor's note, I just told my Professors. I'm pretty sure profs who have attendance policies are just trying to appear to be hardasses or are trying to conform to ABA standards or some shit, but secretly, none of them really care about it.

3) What do you do if you have gotten called out by the professor and you are...
a) not prepared on the material for the day:
Pretend you're not there, bullshit an answer, or just pass (this option applies even if the Professor does not allow passing), stall, wait for a gunner to raise their hand.

b) not paying a bit of attention to the gaseous windbag in the front of the room:
Ask them to repeat the question, stall with some bullshit, make up an answer, wait for a gunner to raise their hand.

c) touching yourself?
Pretend you're not there or wait for a gunner to come help you.

As always, please Holla Back with your answers either in the comments or our your own blog (be kind and throw a link back so the trackback feature in our Haloscan gets some usage).

Foxxy Lady!

I took the Which New York Times Columnist are You Quiz and big surprise (Being that I loved article entitled "What's a Modern Girl to Do?"...


You are Maureen Dowd!

You like to give people silly nicknames (I do this all the time-especially with guy when refering to them to my friends) and write in really short, non sequitur paragraphs (Thank you A.D.D.). You're the most playful (Playful...hehehe) of the columnists and a rock-ribbed liberal (Damn Straight), but are often accused of being too flamboyant (Ya think? Is it the insane amounts of pink, the manicures, or all the heels?) and frivolous (You mean writing about your phone all the time is frivolous?). You tend to focus on style over substance (Obviously), personality over politics (Lately I have been, despite having been far more into politics in my youth). But your heart is in the right place (AWWWWWWWWW!). Plus, you are a total fox (This is without a doubt the most accurate quiz ever).

MeMe

TheNambyPamby tagged me (yes ladies it was good) so I suppose I'll do this meme. I have to say 3 things that nobody knows about me and then tag 3 others. The thing is, that is sorta impossible (read: difficult and I'm lazy and way to tired to think) so we're going to go with things most people don't know.

1. I still wear my retainers because I'm so paranoid that my teeth will not stay straight (Bonus Fact: I whiten my teeth).
2. My laugh is most likely odder more likely to scare children than TheNambyPamby's. I have a really "full" laugh. (Read: People in bars always think I'm wasted when I'm actually just laughing normally). However, I also have a fake laugh which I use so people's feelings aren't hurt. The difference being when I'm really laughing it's almost impossible for me to stop and when I'm fake laughing it's just a short chuckle.
3. In addition to still sleeping with a doll (Cyndi, yes she is named after Cyndi Lauper) I got when I was 18 months old I compulsively twirl her hair and have been comtemplating taking her in the car on my drive to work or other stressful places. The only thing stopping me is the fear that I would loose her or that I'll get to the point where I want to carry her around all the time and I know that isn't "Socially Acceptable."

And now the fun part, I tag:

1. Law and Alcoholism
2. E-Spat
3. Tom
   

YOU ARE RULE 8(a)!

You are Rule 8, the most laid back of all the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. While your forefather in the Federal Rules may have been a stickler for details and particularity, you have clearly rebelled by being pleasant and easy-going. Rule 8 only requires that a plaintiff provide a short and plain statement of a claim on which a court can grant relief.

While there is much to be lauded in your approach, your good nature sometimes gets you in trouble, and you often have to rely on your good friend, Rule 56, to bail you out.

Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I got tagged...

by Law and Alcoholism...And yes, ladies, it was good. Brief, but good.

So I suppose I'll do this meme. Here's what I have to do:

1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

So, here it is:

(Loser has to buy lunch).

Yeah, really exciting, I know. However, I have come a long way and I think my blogging is much better now.

And as for who I'm tagging...(This is hard since I think most people have done it).

1. Best in Show
2. Living the Dream
3. Stay Classy, Kansas City
4. Confessions of a Litigious Mind
5. Captain Negativity

Do it if you want to, Some of you (I'm looking at you Best in Show) don't even have 23 posts though so whatever.

For those of you who think that because someone is a liberal they're not a REAL American

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

Ironically, it's also the last drink I had...

You Are an Appletini

Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy.But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

I've always preferred the term "Socialist" to "Pinko Commie"

You are a Social Liberal (86% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (18% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Blonde on Blonde

I'm finally getting around to answering Blonde Justice's interview questions that she crafted so carefully for me...In case you want to play along with the interview game, leave a comment and I'll come up with 5 questions for you.

Ok, here we go...

1. Why law school? Do you know what you want to do after?

Why law school is easy: My Poli Sco degree left me with the choices of:

• Gas station attendant
• Waitress
• Barista
• Law School

I like arguing with people and was really into my con law classes in undergrad so I came to law school.

I'm currently very torn about what I want to do after law school. I don't have the grades for a big firm (not that I'd fit in well there and I'm also very sure I wouldn't want to do a lot of the work they do). I have been looking into Wills and Estates but I think it would bore me. After all the time I've spend working with seniors and the mentally impaired I'm also considering or Social Security/Disability law. With all these possibilities for some reason I can't seem to the get the idea that being a public defender would be really great out of my head. Rationality keeps telling me I have too many loans-but being rational isn't a strong suit so I have this feeling that's what I'll end up doing.

2. Speaking of school, the first day of school will soon be upon us. Well, actually, just you. ("Ha, ha!" as Nelson Muntz would say.) Any thoughts on that all-important first day of school outfit?

Not sure, but I'm going to have to find a way to incorporate the new Rainbow Sandals.

3. Magazine subscriptions: How many do you have? Which ones are the best? Others that you want to subscribe to? And then, once you get them, do you have a certain order that you read them in, or anything like that?

I don't have any actually, but I read my grandma's people and do the crossword in it. I subscribed to Playboy for my brother but it's in his name and it was a birthday gift so I don 't think that counts. I pick up Cosmo on occasion, or National Jurist at school. I've been thinking about getting a subscription to Cosmo but I don't really want to make that kind of commitment.

4. What's your hidden talent?

I can fit my fist in my mouth...Probably something I will regret admitting.

5. Do you have a favorite drinking game? Or does it just not require a game?

I'm a big fan of Asshole, but I kinda want to play Edward 40 Hands one day to see if I can do it. However, usually no game is required.

First Drunken Post in a Long Time...

Update: I talked to my brother and from the sound of things the 17 year old is def having more sex then I am...Which to be fair isn't hard since I'm not having any, but whatever.

I'm 1/2 drunk and I can't fight the urge to take online quizzes...Bring it on kids!

Possibly the oddest thing ever if you know me at all...

Your Musical Tastes Match: Dale Earnhardt Jr.

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

Ohh, So true...

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

The theme of the night appears to be kissing (since as I already stated I'm not actually getting any right now)...

Your Kissing Purity Score: 31% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

Umm, no kidding...

You are an Atheist

When it comes to religion, you're a non-believer (simple as that). You prefer to think about what's known and proven. You don't need religion to solve life's problems. Instead, you tend to work things out with logic and philosophy.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

I knew I'd make an excellent Lawyer/Judge and now I have proof:

Your Career Type: Enterprising

You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable. Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas. You would make an excellent: Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp Director City Manager - Judge - Lawyer Recreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales Person School Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster

Why am I even still taking quizzes? (This one is also true though)

You Belong in 1967

1967 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Ok, well, that was fun kids...Let's do it again some time...If there are even anymore online quizzes for me to take. Also, I will admit that I was listening to The Pussycat Dolls "Don't Cha" and Gorillaz "Feel Good Inc"-yeah the IPod Song (I love it-I'll admit it) while I was composing this post.

Friday Spies© : Who Moved My Cheese Edition

As always, brought to you by the gang at BTQ

1. What's your favorite cheese?

That's tough, in general I like jalapeno pepper jack-but asaigo on pasta is also excellent.

2. Cheesy movie: If you were in Top Gun, what would your call sign be?

It would probably be something cheesy (haha) like "Machine Gun" because when I laugh really hard it sounds like a less shrill version of Fran Dresser's voice (ie-like a machine gun). I can't believe I just admitted my laugh sounds like that.

3. Big cheese: Tell us a boss story -- best boss, worst boss, a time when you were the boss, etc.

Yesterday I went to a picnic with my family (my dad even got my 17 year old brother a 21 and over wrist band-which ended with him puking in the parking lot). So I filled out staff evaluations while I was tipsy, let my brother cut in line to climb the Rock Climbing Tower, had a beer with an underage staff member, and then didn't help them set-up or tear down...I'm obviously a nice boss.

4. Say cheese: Are you a photobug? Are you photogenic? Or, in 1000 words or less, tell us about your best picture.

I can be photogenic when I'm not intoxicated. I am a bit of a blinker though so almost every picture of me ends up looking as if I'm drunk.

5. Just cheesy: What's the worst pick-up line you've ever used, or had used on you? Did it work?

Worst pick up line ever used on me had to be by a guy from school. He kept calling me "Sugar-Cain" all night (a play off my last name) and while I hate to admit it-it worked. I seriously have never used a pick-up line other then introducing myself to someone (which doesn't count).

Friday Spies ©

(Yes, I know it's Sunday) but I'm fashionably late us usual.

As always...Brought to you by the gang at BTQ.

1. Why did you start blogging?

Mostly to keep in contact with friends.

2. Are the reasons you blog now the same as when you started? If not, what's changed?

Even though I haven't been blogging that long it seems this has also become a place for me to rant about little things that bother me.

3. What would make blogging better for you?

Now that posting pictures is so easy and audioposts are also easy you know me, I can't complain.

4. Do you have comments on your blog? Why or why not? Do you comment on other blogs? What motivates you to post a comment?

I do, but I do censor them on occasion, as I do not believe that me censoring my blog (that about 3 people read) will lead to the downfall of freedom of speech. As I've said, it's my forum and I'll shape it as I see fit. I comment on other blogs when they crack me up or when I have something interesting to say.

5. What is your philosophy of the blogroll?

I link to blogs I've found that I read, I read a few couple others when I'm bored at work...But mostly just the ones I link to.

As if we didn't know it was true...

You Are an Irish Coffee

At your best, you are: wild, spontaneous, and outgoing At your worst, you are: too extreme and reckless You drink coffee when: you want to keep drinking booze Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Friday Spies ©

As always, brought to you by the gang at BTQ...

1. Tropical Storm Cindy and Hurricane Dennis are causing trouble in the Southeast this week. Share a natural disaster story.

I decided to go to law school, that’s my natural disaster story.

2. What is your favorite work of art?

It's cliche I know...but probably this...















Or maybe this...(also cliche)














They both remind me of the first class I took that I learned anything about art in and they were my favorite 2 paintings we studied. I was a teachers aide for the teacher that taught it, he got me prints of both of them when he went on a trip to Europe. He knew I loved them and I still have the prints hanging on my wall.

3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle or the bottom?

The bottom, and ok, I’ll admit it…I have a Toothpaste Tube Winder, I got it free from work and I love how neat it keeps everything...Mock if you must, but my teeth obessesion is well documented and I doubt you except any less of me.

Update: I came across this tonight and while I was shocked enough to find out that someone else idolized Elle Woods as much as I do and that she's ACTUALLY a lawyer I was even more shocked to realize we both use tube winders.

4. What is your favorite "cult" film?

My Co-Worker called Napoleon Dynamite a cult classic the other day so if it’s being considered one then I’d have to choose that one. I’m not really into cult films, so the next closest thing would have to be The Big Lebowski...Also not really a cult movie but the way some of my friends are about it I feel like it is...But hey, that's just like, my opinion man.

5. Would you go into space if given the chance? Where would you go?

I can’t get onto an airplane without 4 drinks in me so I don’t think space is really the thing for me.

I'd take Kim over TomKat anyday

This quiz is so perfect-it refers to me as a smart blonde with a hot ass!

Ohh and while we're on the nerdy movies topic...



Also probably the best character to be-even though she was a wuss in Episode 3.

I don't know why I'm blogging so much lately, maybe it's that I haven't been drinking (or going to bars) so I've been around to do it.

On an unrelated note: I was watching Sex and the City tonight and there was a line about how baseball games are the only place where it's socially acceptable to drink at 2 p.m., while I've always been more of a Michigan Football (I just realized I've done shots at 10a.m. before noon games-so I guess Football has a lot of early socially acceptable drinking involved as well) or Pistons Basketball girl, but I think I might need to start following the Tigers...Plus, this post has confirmed my belief.

Bonus fact: TBS will be playing the best movie ever on July 8th, 9th, and 10th.