Sunday, July 30, 2006


  1. Toying with the idea of a new template. However, my HTML skillz are limited, so you guys will most likely have to keep reading my incoherent ramblings on this template which I have grown bored with.
  2. Last night at a party I was at with my parents a guy I'd never met told me he was in love with me. Strange. I told a friend about it and they suggested maybe it was love at first sight. That was even stranger.
  3. The weather is awful so I can't enjoy the lake today. Rather then studying I've watched The Way We Were and Taxi Driver. Strange combination.
  4. A few weeks ago we were talking about Taxi Driver at my parents house, my dad is convinced that since the "borderline kiddie porn" that Jodie Foster did in it gave her gay. He also thinks some movie that Brooke Shields did which was also "borderline kiddie porn" is what caused her post-partum depression. Clearly, he is a idiot.
  5. I've recently started Netflixing Oz, I think the fact that Ryan O'Reilly is my favorite character thus far in combination with the fact that Ari is my character on Entourage says a lot about me as a person.
  6. Just how little studying can I get away with and not only pass the MPRE but get a score I can admit around the office?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

1 Year Away...

So today, I'm driving home, dancing and singing along to one of the best songs of all time, and well, you know that part of "Love Shack" by the B-52's where the lady with the blonde with a beehive shouts:

Tinroof, Rusted!

Yeah so, as I was listening to it I thought about when that show "Pop-Up Video" that was on VH1 and how at that part of the song a bubble used to pop up and would say that the band denied that being a southern slang term for being pregnant and that it was just something the beehive blonde made up on the spot. Which I always thought was was stupid, since it seemed stupid to make up or to lie about the meaning either way.

It was at that moment when I realized exactly one year from that second I'll be finishing taking the bar. I don't think I need to say which I'd rather focus on more.

Monday, July 24, 2006


Sadly I could not take a picture since, well, cameras and camera phones are not allowed in courthouses. But recently when I went to what I like to refer to as "The Worst Courthouse in the History of the World" I saw a sign that read:

Traffic and Civil Division "ONLY"

I get that it was marking the line to check in. But why the quotes?

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming...

to bring you a picture of Becks in a man-kini. Yummy.

To Bar Exam Takers...

Good Luck!

Just remember the one thing I've learned thus far in law school-Unforseeable consequential damages are not recoverable.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

BarBri MPRE Observations:

  1. Leading me to believe there will be a lecture when there is a video is just wrong. I have better things to do from 9 am- 1 pm on Saturday. Such as sleep, be out on the boat, or color code my sock drawer. I can watch a video on my own time.
  2. The video does have benefits. Such as gunners not being able to ask questions.
  3. And not feeling obligated to feign laughter at the profs jokes.
  4. I haven't had to "fill in the blanks" since elementary school-interesting to know BarBri thinks that is the most effective way to learn.
  5. I'm going to kill myself when I have to sit through a summer of this next year. Seriously.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Best of Luck

Anyone wanting to wish the neurotic person in their life luck on the bar exam now has the option of sending a "personalized" message from none other then The Anonymous Lawyer.

And remember, Anonymous Lawyer the book comes out July 25th.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

One More Reason...

Not to go to Ohio State.

"Paranoia, Paranoia, Everybody's Coming to Get Me."

I just woke up and my left arm is extremely itchy. I do not seem to have any bug bites, I haven't tried any new lotions, I'm not detoxing from use of opiads, and my fabric softener is the same one I always use. Which to me leaves only one plausible explanation-someone put itching powder in my bed-perhaps during my brothers graduation party this weekend-or maybe I'm being a little paranoid. Whatever.

Monday, July 17, 2006

"Hey Jealousy."

I billed 10 hours today. Even with 2 days off for the 4th and not working weekends I'm well on track to billing the [Bill, More and Hours] associate quota for the month.

I'm kinda jealous of all those summers with jobs where they get to bill 3 hours a day of fake work. Although knowing I do real work is cool (for me) and scary (for our clients) at the same time.

Friday, July 14, 2006


The only word I seem to be able to read in that description is "emaciated", which is really making me question it's reliability.

As Seen on.

New Blog

Law and Alcoholism has a new blog, very different from his current one, but I'm a philosophy person as well (although I will not hold myself out to be nearly as into it as he is) and I think it's an interesting concept.

It also made me happy my parents raised me as an atheist so I don't have to be conflicted about my beliefs.


1-I love that I have went back to contacts. While I still love glasses since they are another accessory the attention I get from being free of them is fab.

2-Still dancing in my room for exercise at night.

3-I need to learn this dance:

P.S.-I love Duckie.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


[ASSociate]: Why are you taking your shoes off?

Elle Woods: Because I'm going to walk over to [place] and I keep flip flops in my drawer, then if I have to walk around in the city I don't have to do it in heels.

[ASSociate]: Sounds like a great idea. I know just what you mean, walking in heels kills my feet.

Elle Woods: I will assume that was a joke since you really do not seem like the drag type.

Cut to me walking back to the office from [place], roughly 6-7 blocks from my office. All of a sudden I almost fall over. I look down to see what non-existent obstable I'd tripped over this time since I'm always super graceful only to see a broken flip flop. I try to walk with it still broken and I realize I will fall over if I keep this up. So I walk back to my office barefoot. Disgusting. Dis-Gust-Ing. Plus everyone was looking at me like I was a crazy person, so to prove them wrong I kept telling random people "there is a perfectly logical explanation as to why I'm barefoot" which in retrospect, most likely made me look even more insane.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Like A Rock

Everyone knows Corporate America is the new black these days. With Ken Lay's "death" all over the news lately (or last week, whatever) one can't help but reminisce about the good old days when American C.E.O.'s made Martha Stewart look like a sweet housewife rather then someone who had to cut a bitch in the joint over a knitting needle.

However, with all the negative press corporate America has been receiving I find this particularly interesting. Clearly Diamler Chrysler trying to Humanize their C.E.O., but just what is it about that moustache and accent that makes him so endearing?

I've heard the good Dr. speak, and my brother is friends with his daughter so I can say that the campaign makes sense being that he is a very "likeable" guy. I suppose it makes more sense then having some "American Idol" sell your cars (I'm looking at you Ford).

Recent Decision

Dancing alone in my room might be the best stress relief ever. Eva.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Motion to Compel [Building Management] to Provide Reasonable Working Conditions

The Plaintiff, Elle Woods, hereby moves This Honorable Court to Compel [Building Management] to provide suitable working conditions based on terms and conditions of the Operating Agreement signed by [Building Management] and Ms. Woods' employer, [Bill, More and Hours]. Elle Woods states as follows:

  1. [Building Management] is the sole owner and operator of the facility at [address].
  2. [Bill, More and Hours] are tenants in [Building] at [address] who pay rent in exchange for office space as well as the expectation that reasonable repairs and maintenance shall be performed by [Building Management]. (See Exhibit A)
  3. Ms. Woods has been using her current office on [Floor] for over 7 months at the time of the filing of this motion.
  4. Ms. Woods office contains 2 overhead light fixtures of the non-flattering fluorescent variety.
  5. During her entire tenure in the office in question one of the overhead lighting fixtures has remained off.
  6. When Ms. Woods inquired as to why one lighting fixture was not operational she was told by an agent of [Building Management] that the previous employee was "sensitive to light" and that it would be turned on again.
  7. 3 months have passed since the promise to turn on the overhead light.
  8. At the time Ms. Woods made an inquiry about the overhead light which was never on she also made a complaint about the flickering of her other light.
  9. At this time she was told this light could not be replaced until all 3 fluorescent tubes were burned out.
  10. Ms. Woods has waited patiently in a dim office with flickering lights for over 3 months.
  11. This morning (7.10.06) when Ms. Woods turned on her office light none of the lighting was functioning.
  12. Ms. Woods made a call to maintenance and explained the situation politely and that her window does not get a lot of sun.
  13. Ms. Woods wears glasses and does not wish to do any further damage to her eyes by reading in a dimly lit environment.
  14. At no point during the day was Ms. Woods visited by maintenance to repair her lighting.
  15. These conditions cause strain on Ms. Woods eyes and are unacceptable working conditions.

Wherefore, Plaintiff respectfully requests this court Compel [Building Management] to repair Ms. Woods lighting, as she is sick of feeling like a Vampire in her office and clearly [Building Management] is in breach of their duty to service their tenants as provided in the terms and conditions of the lease agreement (See Exhibit A) as well as any fees, costs, and damages for emotional distress this Court sees fit.


Elle Woods-Junior Attorney at Law

Saturday, July 8, 2006

K-Fed's Music Debut Was A Joke

K-Fed is now claiming Popozoa was a joke. I refuse to believe that K-Fed punk'd the nation. I am currently debating if his song "America's Most Hated" should go on the "Grad Mix" because of the line "I built a kingdom down the street from Pepperdine."


So as my long time readers might know, I'm a smoker. The thing is, I've been cutting back lately, to one after lunch that I bum from my associate "friend" and some on the weekends when I go out. Which means when I get late night cravings I have to dig into my "emergency stash" which is a pack of Kool's (I HATE menthol) I bought about 8 months ago because a friend and I were getting my mom to smoke again (she quit when she got pregnant with me), it had to be Kool's since, "she only smokes Kools" and "Marlboro's make her sick" (how I came from this woman's womb is beyond me).

So as some of you may know, cigarettes get stale. And these are SUPER stale. And menthol. Meaning, they are extra gross. But sometimes I want nicotine more then I care about how sick they are, so I smoke them. Like tonight. And then sometimes they are so sick, since they are stale and menthol that I want to go throw up. In other words, I just smoked a disgusting cigarette and I wanted to complain. That is all.

Tuesday, July 4, 2006

Quote from My Grandma

Referring to fireworks:

"I like the spermy ones."


Being that my little brother (the baby) not only graduated high school this year but is also going across the country for school my mom has gone majorly into "nesting" mode. In other words, you can't spell "smother" without "mother." With my brothers grad party coming up not only have I been getting phone calls daily hourly regarding her changes in the menu but also tasks assigned to me. The most recent task is creating a playlist with roughly 6 hours of music to be played during the party. The catch is she wants "California themed music" since that's where my brother is going to school (graduation themed music will also suffice). Obvious choices are:

  1. Anything by the Beach Boys
  2. Californication and Dani California by Red Hot Chili Peppers
  3. Hotel California by The Eagles
  4. Going Back to Cali by Biggie Smalls
  5. California Love by 2Pac and Dr. Dre
  6. California by Phantom Planet
  7. Going to California by Led Zeppelin
  8. Beverly Hills by Weezer
  9. LA Woman by The Doors
  10. 4/29/1992 by Sublime
  11. Santa Monica by Everclear
  12. Malibu by Hole
  13. Graduate by Third Eye Blind
  14. Freshmen by The Verve Pipe
  15. I'm Eighteen by Alice Cooper

So this is where I need help, since clearly 15 songs isn't going to cut it. I'd appreciate any suggestions. Also, suggestions for "hip" music would be helpful since my music taste tends to lean towards the '70's would be appreciated as well. Drop me an e-mail at

Thanks in advance!

Saturday, July 1, 2006

"It's 3 a.m. I must be lonely."

Sometimes I wish I wasn't a total insomniac. Or that when I was able to sleep I'd do it on a normal schedule instead of 4-5 hours a night, 20 minutes in my office after lunch (after which I spend another 10 minutes or so debating if I can bill a file for that time), and 30 minutes or so when I get home.

But at least Netflix has my back and sends me e-mails to question when my DVD's arrived so I can feel like somebody cares at 3:00 a.m. and so I can have something to do once I finish catching up on my blog reading. Good old Netflix, always thinking about me.

While we're on the subject of things replacing "companionship" with "the opposite sex" I thought I'd also take this time to point out that I've ended the last serious relationship I've had in awhile. While he was amazing, always came when I called, always on time, always did what I asked, I had to break it off with the copy shop guy. As much as I appreciated him coming to my desk to pick up any copying I needed done and delivering it back within 24 hours he also always brought me a box of candy. Which at the time allowed the feeling that we were in a fake, immensely happy relationship to foster even more. However, I went on a diet, so I had to break it off. I hope he isn't too hurt that I've abruptly stopped calling. I also haven't worked out how I'm going to appease [Hours] without chocolate on hand at all times.