Translation

Client #1: I have a question about the Interrogatories. [I am needy.]

Me: Ok. [Big Surprise.]

Client #1: Do you think we can meet to go over them. [I am ultra needy.]

Me: Yeah. Finish the ones you can and then call to schedule an appointment. [I don't want to deal with you right now, but you'd called 5 times in less than 4 hours and I figured my support staff would kill me if I didn't call you back you needy jerk-off.]

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Client #2: I am not going to agree with the settlement. [I am crazy.]

Me: I don't really know what the settlement is, I haven't had a chance to talk to the other attorney about it. [I really don't care.]

Client #2: I think I should have gotten (lists unreasonable demands). [I am really crazy.]

Me: Well, like I said, another attorney handled it, I don't even know if it was placed on the record - in which case you'd be bound by it. [I really don't care.]

Client #2: Can you look into it? [I don't trust anyone but you since you are nice enough to listen to my batshit crazy rantings all the time and the other attorney isn't.]

Me: Yes, I will. But I am going to be honest with you, prepping for 3 trials that are all set for next week, I probably won't do it right away. [You need to step off and relax. I really don't care about your issues right now, but eventually I will have to pay some attention to some of them - the fact that you're crazy is not an issue I am going to deal with, until that day comes, I am a little busy.]

Fancy

I got a Blackberry. So amazing. I had internet on my Q while I studied for the bar, but I shut it off once I was home (unemployed) all the time. I forgot how addicting it is.

The Hearing is almost over. Hopefully it ends well.

Tired.

I'm in the midst of an evidentiary hearing (unsupervised) right now.

I cannot really say things are going great.

Scared.

Tomorrow, for the second time since I've been at my new job, I have to go to the building where the firm I clerked at during law school is. Anyone who has been reading for a substantial period of time knows that this exponentially raises the risk that I run into [Hours], which is one of my greatest dreads in life.

The first time I had to go through a rather rigorous security check-which I was not prepared to pass (who knew you cannot take iPods, mirrors, and camera phones into quasi-Court buildings; when you can take them into actual Court buildings?) and I ended up calling an associate I used to work with to come pick up my "contraband" from me so I could make through security. Which meant later I had to actually go up to [Bill, More, and Hours] and run the risk of having to take an elevator with [Hours] or seeing him in the lobby of the office.

At least tomorrow I will be prepared and the worst case scenario I run into him in the lobby of the building (which actually, the way that scene is playing out in my head with me literally running into him is rather frightening).

The worst part is that I do not know what I would do if I ran into him. He ignored me the last 5 months I worked in the office and pretended I didn't exist when I passed him in the hallway after I refused to tolerate his abuse any further. On one occasion he went so far as to fake a cell phone call when he was going to lunch with 3 other partners (all of whom were standing right there) in an attempt to not get into an elevator I was already on-which backfired when the partners told him to just get on and he was forced to have a fake conversation for the next 27 floors. In all probability he would ignore me, but on the off chance that he attempts to engage in conversation with me I'd like to come off as the articulate and fabulous person that I am.

The only reason I am scared he'd talk to me is that recently he saw my dad downtown and he not only waived but he made a point of crossing the street to say hello. Despite the fact that my father hates him, and [Hours] knows he hates him, due to the abuse I was forced to endure.

Maybe I should just be pre-emptively uber nice to him if I see him. Since I know it would make him extraordinarily uncomfortable to talk to me.

Awkwardness of the Day

My client blanantly hitting on me. Even in front of my boss. To the point that my boss had to tell him I am unavailable.

Stressed

I have a feeling this week is going to be hectic. I feel extremely guilty about not working all weekend. I'm also out of vodka and wine. Which means, around 8 I had a carb breakdown; pasta, homemade marinara and of course, cheese. I justified it by eating whole wheat pasta, but I'm not sure it makes much difference.

Battle of the Sexes

One of the most frustrating parts of my job is the treatment I get from other attorneys. Namely, male attorneys. I have decided the methodology of this treatment has many facets, such as:

1. I am a female;
2. I am young, as evidenced by my Bar Number;
3. I sound even younger than I really am, at first they usually give me the old "you aren't the attorney, are you?";
4. The field I am in lends itself to emotion, which leads male attorneys to generally try to push the buttons of female attorneys;
5. I'm not likely to tolerate bullshit;
6. I know the Court Rules, which many of them do not and have told more than one to "read the Court Rules and call me back" when they are trying to get away with improper service, etc.; and
   
7. I am female.
   

Generally, after a couple conversations the condescending tone dissipates. Then there are the assholes, who continually attempt, in vain, to get a rise out of me.

I have been dealing with a particularly egregious asshole a lot recently. Basically our conversations consist of him yelling at me, me listening and telling him I cannot agree to whatever it is he is yelling about that day, then him yelling more and telling me we'd get a lot further if not for my "tone", and finally me making a snarky comment and ending the conversation.

While for the most part it's not a huge issue, I will say it gets tiring to continually be challenged, clearly because of my age and sex. I know some people will say that is not why, but miraculously when my boss talks to them everything is handled quickly and without harassment.

I'd like to say it will get better as I get older and more well known. But based on how the vast majority of older female attorneys act in my field, and how jaded they seem, I feel it will be an ongoing battle until I've proven myself to be "one of the guys", which could be years.

Boring.

I wish I had exciting things to report, but I really like work, outside of all my insane clients there is nothing to complain about.

I'm trying to give up coffee. Note I said coffee, not caffeine. I'm switching to Green Tea, mostly for the increased metabolism. I'll still be having my afternoon diet coke (and the caffeine in the Green Tea), don't worry.

Finally, I had a really good lunch today at Noodles and Company that was only 360 calories! Pasta! Cheese! And White Wine sauce, for only 360 calories! Fantastic!

"Can you ever just be whelmed...I think you can in Europe."

Lately I have been so busy at work. It's not like I'm spending inordinate amounts of time at the office, I don't get in much before 9 am, and most days I'm out by 5 pm-5:30 at the latest. However, at the office it has been non-stop. I turn around and it's 4 pm. I try to be ahead of things, but lately I just feel like I'm putting out fires.

In addition to work, I have a substantial commute, try to make dinner when I get home, pack a healthy lunch for the next day, checking personal and work emails, grooming myself which includes basically showering and getting ready in the morning, waking up in the middle of the night thinking about client issues, playing with Theodore, and occasionally preparing for Court the next morning; I feel overwhelmed.

Clueless

My clients have a tendency to drive me crazy. I do not really think that they mean to drive me crazy, it's just that a lot of them are crazy themselves, so I guess they do not know any better. Not to mention, they all seem to think that the are my only client, which is rather far from the reality.

A lot of times when they call I don't remember what the hell their case is about or who the hell they are until I'm 2-3 minutes into the call.

Plus, my predecessor seems to have been doing a very poor job of updating clients. Which wouldn't be such a big deal if I knew the details of the cases or what was going on, but I don't, so mostly I just make it up as I go along. Maybe that's why they call it "practicing" law.

The Grey Area

There are aspects of my job that I feel more comfortable with each day. However, as I settle in more I realize how little I know. Plus, I'm trying to catch up on a bunch of cases, and it's kind of a "grey area" as to what I can bill for that. Obviously I do not think it's fair to bill to review things my predecessor already did, however, I do have an hourly requirement I'd like to start meeting. It's an ever greyer area what I can bill for revising things my predecessor did wrong.

There has been plenty of interesting fodder which could make for a hilarious post. Sadly, none of it I feel comfortable posting.

Playtime

I am really enjoying the new job thus far. I'm starting to settle in. I will say, I feel like I'm playing lawyer, not that this is what I'll be doing for the rest of my life.

Separation Anxiety Update

Well, I survived. As did Teddie, in fact I think he was probably more well adjusted than I was.

Life at the firm is already insane. I won't really be posting about it until I feel the environment out. But I will say I already have my own clients and I'm meeting with them alone, drafting pleadings, and (obviously) arguing motions.

Separation Anxiety

Tomorrow I have what I'd consider a stressful day. I have to argue in court for the first time ever (I've yet to even go to motion call). To make the experience even more fun, my boss will be there. I spent the day fighting the urge to cry and/or throw up from the nerves.

Plus I have to leave Teddie for the longest time period I've ever left him. He has never been alone more than 6 hours, so I've always crated him. However, the way things work out tomorrow he'll have to be alone for about 10 hours. Being that I'm already stressed, the guilt of that proved to be a bit too much. I am attempting to see if he can be left in the kitchen, which led to him crying to be let out, which led to me crying out of guilt for being unfair to him, which led to my dad telling me to get a grip. Admittedly I was being overly emotional, but it's not like I was just crying about the dog situation, it was clearly a combination of everything.