Monday, April 7, 2008

Scared.

Tomorrow, for the second time since I've been at my new job, I have to go to the building where the firm I clerked at during law school is. Anyone who has been reading for a substantial period of time knows that this exponentially raises the risk that I run into [Hours], which is one of my greatest dreads in life.

The first time I had to go through a rather rigorous security check-which I was not prepared to pass (who knew you cannot take iPods, mirrors, and camera phones into quasi-Court buildings; when you can take them into actual Court buildings?) and I ended up calling an associate I used to work with to come pick up my "contraband" from me so I could make through security. Which meant later I had to actually go up to [Bill, More, and Hours] and run the risk of having to take an elevator with [Hours] or seeing him in the lobby of the office.

At least tomorrow I will be prepared and the worst case scenario I run into him in the lobby of the building (which actually, the way that scene is playing out in my head with me literally running into him is rather frightening).

The worst part is that I do not know what I would do if I ran into him. He ignored me the last 5 months I worked in the office and pretended I didn't exist when I passed him in the hallway after I refused to tolerate his abuse any further. On one occasion he went so far as to fake a cell phone call when he was going to lunch with 3 other partners (all of whom were standing right there) in an attempt to not get into an elevator I was already on-which backfired when the partners told him to just get on and he was forced to have a fake conversation for the next 27 floors. In all probability he would ignore me, but on the off chance that he attempts to engage in conversation with me I'd like to come off as the articulate and fabulous person that I am.

The only reason I am scared he'd talk to me is that recently he saw my dad downtown and he not only waived but he made a point of crossing the street to say hello. Despite the fact that my father hates him, and [Hours] knows he hates him, due to the abuse I was forced to endure.

Maybe I should just be pre-emptively uber nice to him if I see him. Since I know it would make him extraordinarily uncomfortable to talk to me.

3 comments:

karen said...

Hi there. I found your blog through Anonymous Law Student. I was surfing through your old entries a couple days ago and then realized that might appear to be creepy.

So, by way of introduction, I am a youngish attorney in the Pacific Northwest, and I really think your dog is cute!

--karen

Valerie said...

sounds like he might be more worried about it than you are. Just be your confident self and let him squirm!

Dizzy said...

He wants to "win" the confrontation.

That's his biggest strength and his biggest weakness. It means he'll do anything, ANYTHING that he thinks will make him look better. And it also means that he will freak the hell out if he thinks you did something to make him look bad. (Like cross the street to talk to a FAMILY MEMBER who he knows hates his guts. That's weird! He knows it's weird, but he can't help himself).

The question is not, "Do I try to be the bigger person?" You are the bigger person and if you give him the silent treatment for the next 20 years, everyone will know it. The real question is, "How badly will he squirm if I can, matter of factly, bring up his abuse?"

"Hi Hours. I haven't seen you since you told me____"

"Hello Hours. Still having troubles with ____?"

"Oh my DEAR Hours. You never did get a girl to overlook your intense fear of losing control and stay with you, did you?"

You actually can get away with saying any and all of the above to this type. It's fun. He's a narcissist (please google the term) who will never, never disengage. You will always have the upper hand once you realize this. Please do your part for the universe and let this bastard know that he is not the be-all, end-all. There are, in fact, consequences, to screwing people over.

Thank you :)

PS - I swear to god, he will never give up trying to win you over. This type can't handle not being liked, especially when it's completely deserved. Take that away from him, please. For the good of the profession...