Sunday, July 31, 2005

R.I.P. Truman

I seriously had the most emotionally draining weekend of my life and maybe when I've gained some perspective on the issue and I'm a little more removed from it I'll be able to write about it but until then the best way I can put it is that the least depressing thing that happened to me this weekend was my bunny dying (it's not that I'm not extremely sad about it-it's that my weekend was just that bad). So I guess pictures of the cute little guy won't be forthcoming.

I'm going to be sappy and talk about Truman for a minute since I think he deserves it. Pets tend to my frowned upon in my family and so the most I could get anyone to agree to let me have was a bunny. He was adorable, he would hop up onto my bed while I was sitting reading and sit next to me...I'm really going to miss that.

I've been crying all weekend over Truman and all the other things that happened this weekend and I don't really see an end in sight to any of the problems so I'm probably going to be depressed for awhile.

By the way, the only thing that made me laugh this weekend was Wedding Crashers, while it's not a movie I would classify as "good" or "oscar quality" it's super funny. We all know about my love for Vince Vaughn so I won't ramble on, my my favorite quotes were:

  • Jeremy: Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's an interesting combination.
  • Zack: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that?
  • Jeremy: Not as much as I do with your attire, or just your general point of view toward everybody here. But hey, lets go kill some birds. I'm psyched.

  • "Let's play a little game, just the tip, just to see how it feels."
  • "Mom! Meat loaf! Fuck!"
  • "Soft mattress? Maybe, or it could have been the midnight rape, or the nude gay art show. I had my sock, the one that I walked around in all day, played football, *sweated* in, stuffed in my mouth and duct taped in! I'm going to eat my breakfast over here. Don't talk to me."
  • "Todd, the painting was a gift and I'm keeping it."
  • "Why can't we hunt something cool like a hawk or an eagle, something with some talons?"

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Super Size Me...

With Whiskey...Some might say this guy fits the whole "Stupid People Week" theme, but I just think it's funny.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Stupid People Week Continues...

Customer: Can I pay by check at the waterpark?
Me: As long as it's a company check, yes you can.
Customer: Can I make it out when I get there?
Me: Umm, as long as you make it out we don't care where you do it.

On a seperate stupid people rant...What would make someone think it's a good idea to smoke crack. I'll let the people who did it in the 80's slide but with all we know now how could an educated 40 something year old person could be like, ohh I'll just hit that crack pipe once?!?! (The same really goes for injecting drugs but I think you get the point). Maybe when I'm more removed from the situation I'll be able to fill everyone in on what brought on this rant but for now I'd say that it's safe for you to assume that someone in my family that was very important to me has gotten into drugs and I've had to wash my hands of them.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

"Gimme an N-I-N-J-A, What's that spell?"

Yesterdays' post made me decide to post a conversation every day this week that I have with someone that makes me want to bang my head on the nearest hard object. Hopefully this will shed some light as to why I'm neurotic, as I'm convinced I deal with more stupid people in a day then most people do in a year. (This series of posts is contingent on stupid people talking to me, of course...Who am I kidding, if I kept a notebook with me during the day I could post at least 10 a day-all part of what I consider the added bonus of dealing with 30 summer staff and answering phones most of the day).

So today I'm having a nice lunch (Quiznos...Mmmm, Tasty) with my boss (she's 3rd in command where we work) and some of the Summer staff come in and sit down with their Burger King (Notice the difference-I'm eating designer fast food and these morons are buying stuff off the $1 menu).

So one of them (He's 18, and a MALE CHEERLEADER-not that I have anything against that-it's that he hides it and tells people he plays football-if he's own up to it I'd think it's awesome) is sitting there talking about getting drunk and making jokes about it in front of our 50 year old boss-can we say "Inappropriate"?

Next he makes some comment about my drinking. To which I reply, "First of all 18MC I'm of legal age unlike you so what I do in my time off is really none of your business. And Second, have we ever been out together? Have you ever seen me drink? No, so maybe you don't want to talk about things you know nothing about."

Now usually, when I verbally chide someone as badly as I did to this kid in front of our boss and 4 guys they back down-but not this kid. His cheerleader spirit kept him from giving up.

I started talking with one of the summer staff about law school and where I did my undergraduate work and what my degree is in (University of Michigan, Political Science, B.A., in 3 years-yeah I went to a REAL school unlike the clown in this story who's about to start his freshmen year at Central Michigan-what does he know about college?). So then I make a comment about how really I can't do much with my undergrad degree outside of work "work at a gas station"-which is my joke (and not his) and frankly I could do more but I'm in law school so I don't. This stellar conversation ensued...

  • 18MC: Yeah you can't do anything besides work at a gas station with that.
  • Me: Yeah, I know, I already said that.
  • 18MC: What a waste of a degree.
  • Me: Well, I knew from the second I got to U of M I was going to be going to law school, politics interests me, and if I decide to go into politics it's a nice background to have...So I don't really consider it a waste.
  • 18MC: Want to know how I'm going to get into Politics?
  • Me: Learn some social skills first. (To be fair-this was the nicest thing that came to mind. I was also considering "Get a brain?" or "Get a brain and use it to try to get into a real school?" or "Use the perfect Cheer?" but I decided to be "nice")
  • 18MC: (Stares blankly at me shocked)
  • 18MC: You better watch out, I'm a Ninja.
  • Me: Yeah me too, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it because I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore.
  • 18MC: (Stares blankly at me and then walks outside)

Monday, July 25, 2005

My friends are insane...

Or at least one of them is, I offer this AIM conversation as proof...

Me: You have be nice to me...I gave blood today.
Him: don't do that
Him: they drink it and use it in rituals
Him: they sell it on the black market
Me: I gave to the Red Cross
Me: you're so nuts
Him: just warning u, i didnt expect u to believe it...but i mean it's true
Me: it'll help 4 people
Him: it'll help 2 ppl medically, and it'll help 2 other ppl satanically
Him: so ya
Him: 4 ppl
Me: you are so crazy

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Friday Spies ©

(Yes, I know it's Sunday) but I'm fashionably late us usual.

As always...Brought to you by the gang at BTQ.

1. Why did you start blogging?

Mostly to keep in contact with friends.

2. Are the reasons you blog now the same as when you started? If not, what's changed?

Even though I haven't been blogging that long it seems this has also become a place for me to rant about little things that bother me.

3. What would make blogging better for you?

Now that posting pictures is so easy and audioposts are also easy you know me, I can't complain.

4. Do you have comments on your blog? Why or why not? Do you comment on other blogs? What motivates you to post a comment?

I do, but I do censor them on occasion, as I do not believe that me censoring my blog (that about 3 people read) will lead to the downfall of freedom of speech. As I've said, it's my forum and I'll shape it as I see fit. I comment on other blogs when they crack me up or when I have something interesting to say.

5. What is your philosophy of the blogroll?

I link to blogs I've found that I read, I read a few couple others when I'm bored at work...But mostly just the ones I link to.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

My Bunny is Cuter...

Truman is much cuter then this rabbit...but this picture CRACKS me up and I decided to post it.

In case your wondering, Truman (Named after the President and the Writer) looks more like this:

Only Truman is chubbier (which makes him cuter)-he can only hop around inside since he's allergic to something outside and gets watery eyes when I take him out in the yard (yes my rabbit is allergic to the outdoors-go figure) .

Soon I'll steal my dad's digital camera and post pictures of him-and of other cool stuff I see.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Barefoot and Pregnant in no time...

I retract my previous statement about not judging Judge Roberts too harshly too soon. He's a member of The Federalist Society. While little is known about where he stand on the issues (always good for a nominee for Supreme Court justice) being that Scalia and Thomas are members (not to mention countless other conservatives I can barely tolerate) I think it's safe to say this will be your last year to:

  1. Have an Abortion
  2. Engage in consensual sexual acts other then missionary sex between a man and wife
  3. Own property which a corportation wants to develop (ohh wait, you can't do that anymore-Thank you Kelo)
  4. Not be forced to pray in school
  5. Assert your rights to due process (a speed trial, representation, etc)
  6. Afford yourself of rights that should be guaranteed under the Geneva Conventions

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Damn Internet Explorer

The question of the day is: Why does my blog template hate me and insist on putting my profile/links/archives at the bottom of the page when I try to view it in Internet Explorer? (Yes I know it's lame I still use IE but I don't know how to put links in posts in Modzilla and all my favorites are in IE).

Blogger has this to say about it (which seems to make sense)...But I haven't had any problems using IE the past...So until the problem solves itself or blogger e-mails me back anyone who wants to see my sidebar is just going to have to scroll down or use a browser other then IE.

You knew it was coming

Anybody who knows me has to know that a post on John Roberts was not far off after Dubya's annoucement. I really don't know enough about him yet to comment at all on how I feel about the nomination but I thought it was worth mentioning that during a lot of the controversial work he's done he was working as a lawyer and thereby an advocate for the causes the people who he worked for supported. While my fellow liberals are already up in arms about his nomination because of some of the work he's done I have chosen to do more research and pay attention to his confirmation hearings before I really make up my mind about him.

I wouldn't want someone dragging out a brief I wrote as evidence during a confirmation hearing (Legally Blonde having a confirmation hearing-HAHAHA). So what if he wrote a brief, lawyers do it everyday for causes they don't actually believe in. It's why people think we're scum-it doesn't automatically make him in support of those causes. While his prior work does make him a little suspect in my mind (as if being nominated by Dubya wasn't enough to make him suspect) I wanted to point out that he might have just been doing his job when he wrote some of those briefs.

With that said, if during his confirmation hearings it seems that he wants to overturn the shell that remains of Roe v. Wade Democrats should gather themselves and pretend they are an actual political party and filibuster with the determination Strom Thurmon showed during the Civil Rights Act votes-but they should win, which he didn't-thankfully. (I hate even referencing Roe here since any Constitutional Law nerd knows Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Penn. v. Casey is the current abortion law in the U.S.). However, given the state of the Democratic party and the strenght of the Republican political machine I really think I should go sterilize a coat hanger in case I need one in the near future.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

You are about to enter a world of pain.

After what has to have been the worst day in recent memory at work I've had enough time to calm down/drink wine that I can finally write about it without throwing my laptop across the room. Normally the few things listed below would be enough to piss me off (trust me keep reading, it gets so much worse):

  • The Customer who treated me horribly yesterday and mocked me to my face for having treated me horribly is being pacified and getting exactly what he wanted and even more for basically free wasn't bad enough there was (Lawyer side note: This whole situation was created by him being dumb and not reading his contract and then threating to sue us-do not worry, I asked him on what grounds and before he could even get out fraud I informed him of how he didn't have a leg to stand on-at least that made me smile)...
  • I then decided to be nice and make reservations for people for tomorrow/friday/this weekend-thereby going WAY out of my way and creating WAY more work for me. As if that isn't annoying enough but to then have 3 out of the 4 people I did this for call and cancel right after I made their contracts-making even more work for me. PLUS...
  • Another lady who I work with has been gone (for the 2nd day in a row and will be gone until Monday now from what I understand). Meaning I had to do her job and mine (guess whose didn't get done-mine...meaning I have will have an unbelieveable amount of work to do on Monday unless I go in early when I work this weekend to get some of it done). Not to mention...
  • I've worked 14 of the last 16 days in a row. By Monday it'll be 17 of the last 19, and by next Friday it'll be 22 out of the last 24 with no end in site...Mind you I'm supposed to just work M-F.

The list continues but my head is starting to hurt so I'm going to move onto what really pisses me off since all of that I can deal with.

Today I was sexually assaulted at work, by a 45 year old maintenance worker. It's the 2nd time it happened and today I decided to put it to an end, and if it doesn't stop I will f*cking cut him (and it's not even an escalation of force in my opinion since women can use deadly force to stop a rape so I don't see why I can't cut his ass when I'm fearing an iminent sexual assault). This guy keeps coming up to me from behind, sliding his hand under my arm while I'm on the phone and basically cupping/poking-albeit briefly-the side of my breast.

The first time he did it I told him to stop. Then I proceeded to explain to him that:

  1. Unwanted touching constitutes an Assualt and Battery and thereby an intentional tort
  2. I would not hesitate to sue his ass-(except I doubt he has any money so that plan is shot)
  3. Use reasonably force necessary to stop the unwanted will f*cking cut him

Today had I not been on the phone when he'd done it his balls would have become acquinted with my foot/knee.

As if I wasn't pissed enough when I saw him later and told him he needed to stop he said "You telling me to stop just makes me want to do it more." I took the high road and walked away.

Then I went to the our boss and told him about what had happened and:

  1. Asked him to discuss it with the guy
  2. Told him about other girls he's done similar things to
  3. Thanked him for his time and also mentioned if it didn't stop I would be taking this higher up the chain of command (which basically consists of one guy after my boss-but whatever)
  4. Informed him it was a lawsuit waiting to happen if they didn't put an end to this guys bahavior or terminate him
  5. Then I proceeded to tell a co-worker and my other boss (who doesn't supervise the shady guy) about it so it was documented (in the ghetto way we do)

I should also mention here that my boss was horrified and talked to the guy within 15 minutes, apologized to me again and when I said "hey isn't not your fault" he responded "yeah but it will be if he doesn't stop." (It was nice to have someone back me up).

Lesson to be learned: Avoiding fucking with uppidy law students. We know how to get our way and while the other 5 girls you pissed off didn't do anything I got you ass written up in 15 minutes...Plus if all else fails I will either:

  1. Kick your ass myself
  2. Have my dad/do it-not like he has shit to do during the day now that he's laid off

Am I wrong? Am I wrong?

PS-No, there were not enough lists in this post.

Summer Book Review:

No, it's not about that little weirdo with the round glasses-but it is written by 2 adults, 1 of whom wears glasses. While the rest of America spent the weekend fulfilling their Harry Potter addiction I spent the weekend reading Freakonomics.

I was hesitant to buy it since I figured a book by an economist was not going to be something that I could tolerate no matter how interesting Jon Stewart said it was. Granted, how many books by economists make it on the NY Times best seller list, but come on…Harry Potter sold a record number of books this weekend so it's not like that's an "elite" club or anything.

If you haven’t figured it out yet I’m not really a Harry Potter fan. While this might not be fair since I haven’t actually read any of the books I refuse to think children’s books can actually be that interesting-plus I saw a couple of the movies and I wasn’t that impressed.

Please spare me the “Harry Potter books are amazing” backlash-please spend your time reading a book where you might actually learn something other then how:

  1. To play that game on the broom sticks
  2. How to talk to a snake

(Yes I am suggesting you actually learn something you can use in the real world)…But really I don’t care if you spend your time reading another chapter in the Harry Potter book, just don’t lecture me about how great it is…I reserve my forum for my causes and prefer to lecture on how great Freakonomics is.

So in case some of you are concerned you won’t enjoy a book written by an economist (Steven D. Levitt) and a journalist (Stephen J. Dubner) I’ve enclosed a link to the introduction-so you can find out it is a well written, yet easy read.

The two have such a great sense of humor in addressing their unconventional topics. They even go so far as to warn not to trust economists and journalists as they tend to serve their own interests. The chapters are entitled:

  1. What do Schoolteachers and Sumo Wrestlers Have in Common? (How educational programs which force schools to test children as a means of testing teachers lead to teacher forgery of those tests and how Sumo wrestlers might not be as legitimate as everyone seems to think they are-GASP, Japanese wrestling and American wresting are fake?)
  2. How is the Ku Klux Klan Like a group of Real Estate Agents? (How Real Estate agents might not have your best interests at heart and how Stetson Kennedy did more to bring down the KKK then anyone else in American history by making their passwords a joke).
  3. Why Do Drug Dealers Still Live with Their Moms? (The interworkings of a Chicago crack gang and the true money distribution).
  4. Where Have All the Criminals gone? (This is where they analyze how Roe v. Wade led to the greatest drop in crime in America History-and my personal favorite chapter, however the one on drug dealers is a close second).
  5. What Makes a Perfect Parent? (How parents poorly evaluate risks-like which is more dangerous a gun or a swimming pool?)
  6. Perfect Parenting, Part II or: Would a Roshanda by Any Other Name Smell as Sweet (Does the name parents give their child really effect their long terms career possibilities).

While not the typical topics you expect an economist to tackle it’s really all about analyzing data so why couldn’t an economist delve into these topics. The shocking part is that the 2 have hard evidence to back up their claims by using control groups within populations. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I found it fascinating.

The discussion on how legalized abortion led to the greatest crime drop in American history at a time when all the experts were predicting that crime would explode and there would be a “bloodbath” in the streets was particularly interesting. The pair are unconcerned how either side of the political spectrum feels about their book (their theory on abortion is not exactly favored by either side), this unabashed honesty truly makes the book. The 2 tackle unpopular and controversial topics without caution-a rarity in our politically correct world. I don’t have the energy to summarize my favorite chapter right now-but look for a post soon in which I attempt to present their arguments and probably will do a poor job.

Note: This is actually the 2nd book I've read this summer. The first was Drinking by Caroline Knapp-while excellent I didn't feel the need to push it to everyone I know. (Yes I realize it's lame I've had 2 months and I've only read 2 books but I'm working on it)

So now I'm out of Summer reading and looking for suggestions for other choices, feedback welcome and appreciated.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Man Sued Over Mailing Feces

A man is being sued by Missouri Attorney General Jay Nixon for allegedly sending garbage and even feces to eBay customers who thought they were bidding for new or slightly used clothing.


Nixon filed the fraud suit against Michael D. Pickens of Bethany. His wife, Tamera Pickens, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch he is disabled with a rare blood disease, is unemployed and has never sold anything over the Internet.

So the people just got boxes of feces mailed to them and your husband didn't do it...riiiiiiight.

The suit claims Internet ads promised top-quality clothes, including ads from Victoria Secret, Banana Republic and other well-known brands. When customers placed their orders through the online auction site eBay, the suit says, Pickens arranged for the shipment to come from companies that sell industrial rags, unwanted clothing or household items meant for poor countries. In one case, a customer received feces.

Ok I would seriously have to cut someone if I was expecting to get Vicky-C's undies and I got poo. However, I would like to point out that buying underwear from E-Bay *might* not be the best plan. Where they supposed to be used? If they were, were they supposed to be washed? Or was it one of those sick panty auctions where middle aged pedofiles buy the homecoming queens panties? (If it was then I guess I don't think it's so bad they didn't get what they paid for-you sickos). Really, I just don't even have words right now.

Nixon said Pickens either ignored or refused requests for refunds.

Tip of the Day: If you mail out garbage/feces instead of clothing you might want to at least refund the money when people realize you didn't send them what they paid for since they're probably going to be pissed enough to take legal action.

The lawsuit, filed in Harrison County Circuit Court, seeks a permanent injunction and fines of $1,000 per violation.

The worst part is the people probably will never get their money back since this clown seems judgment proof so basically they have a bunch of garbage/crap (literally).

Monday, July 18, 2005

"The rules of hair care are simple and finite."

I think I've finally figured out how to style my hair curly have it look amazing. Right now it's in loose curls, with my long bangs sweeping over my right eye, messy-but not sloppy...Seriously, it looks great.

Male readers who are not gay/metro and do not have a weird fetish with my hair feel free to skip the next 3 paragraphs-but really, you should read it since:

  1. You might learn something
  2. Based on what you learn you might be able to tell your wives/girlfriends to stop spending money on expensive hair products that do not work as well as the ones Legally Blonde uses
  3. Any post that can be titled with a quote from Legally Blonde is worth reading

My curly hair has become somewhat of a challenge this summer with the abnormal amount of heat/humidity. Plus my general laziness/random power outtages have made blow drying and flat ironing somewhat difficult.

However, today, for the first time ever, when I did my hair curly it looked amazing. I don't know if it was:

  1. The 92 degree weather
  2. The fact that it feels like it's 105 outside (no, I'm not exaggerating)
  3. The color I just had done (I know you're all crying about the fact that my blonde tresses are not entirely mine-but damnit, I pay for it and just like once you buy implants they're yours I like to consider my hair color mine-plus it's not like I dye it, I just make it a little more blonde)
  4. Learning how to use the new hair product

Right now I look as I if I just spent an afternoon enjoying the surf and sun on a beach someplace fabulous.

I've finally given up on all the expensive salon products and have started using products by a man who I now consider a God. Laugh if you must at my Drug Store Purchased Curling Spray, but damnit the man KNOWS curly hair! Particularly coarse curly hair (My friends with fine hair do not like his products and feel they weight their hair now too much-I would be remiss in my duties as a hair product junkie if I didn't mention this). Despite having switched to cheap hair products I will admit that when I go to the mall tomorrow I plan on getting a sample (since I can't afford a bottle right now-and I might not like it) of this. I will admit it, I love Jonathan Antin and all this egocentric ways and I have a feeling the man knows his hair product.

Ok, my rant about hair products is over.

Anyway, me and my beach bum inspired hair look too fabulous to be sitting in front of this computer. I'm out with the ladies meeting new guys since apparently all the ones I know are complete assholes (but that's a whole different post).

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot...

Apparently today was "Racist Customer Day" at my work.

This came as a shock since I've been working there for 5 years now and the most racist thing I've ever encountered was a lady complaining about the park not being safe since "Those Mexicans" play volleyball at the park on Sundays. That comment alone was shocking enough to me, especially since I have been in the park when those guys are all there and while there are about 100 of them and it can be menacing to see that many men anywhere. Still, I was shocked the woman brought up their race over the phone...But that lady had NOTHING on the 2 people today.

First I had a lady call, after I answered questions about the Waterparks the conversation degenerated into this:

  • Racist Lady: I don't want to sound racist but do you have a lot of blacks that come to your parks? I used to take my kids to (Insert name of our former competitor) and I had to stop going there they're just all so rude.
  • Legally Blonde: Well, ummm...(stammering out of shock).
  • RL: I mean, I don't mean sound racist I just want to know.
  • LB: Well, we pride ourselves on diversity here at (Insert name of my employer) and I'm not very comfortable answering that question.
  • RL: Yeah I figured you couldn't answer it, I wasn't trying to be racist, I just don't want my kids around them.
  • LB: I'm going to end this call now ma'am. (Hangs up)

Next I'm sorting through comment cards, reading them since I enjoy wasting time and sometimes they're funny when we get comments about certain staff members being hott. So I'm reading along and I come across a comment card that has this written on it:

  • "Too many little monkey's drowning in the pool. Tell the (N-Word) parents to teach their kids to swim or stay out of the pool."

Note: On the card the "N-Word" was written out but I refuse to do so even if I'm quoting someone else.

I seriously dropped the card in shock, picked it up, showed it to my boss, and then we tore it up and threw it away.

Sadly, this person didn't have the balls to put their name or address on said comment card...I seriously can't believe people still think/talk/act like that.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

"I'm not the one you want, babe...

I'm not the one you need
You say you're lookin' for someone
Never weak but always strong
To protect you an' defend you
Whether you are right or wrong
Someone to open each and every door
But it ain't me, babe, No, no, no,
It ain't me, babe
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe."
-Bob Dylan, It ain't me, babe

I refuse to get involved in this whole Harry Potter craze and I've decided that this is just further proof that I was born in the wrong decade since Harry Potter will never be my muse when Bob Dylan is around.

Reasons I'm a GREAT date...

  • I'll stay out with a different guy the night before.
  • Only get 4 hours of sleep.
  • Get up early to work outside in the hot sun so I'm super tired.
  • I'll sit out on my dock all afternoon drinking with a co-worker so I'm drunk when you come to get me.
  • I will pack a cooler so "we" can drink in the parking lot-and then when I find out you quit drinking I'll still bring it.
  • Even though you don't let people smoke in your car I'll beg/nag you until you let me.
  • I'll drink more in the parking lot and flirt with guys to get free shots.
  • I'll wear a cowboy hat (that isn't really even country but moreso "trendy") to a country music concert even though it looks weird on me and makes you look weird for being with me.
  • I'll pass out 2 songs into the concert on top of you and then when you wake me up when it's over tell you I'm too drunk to walk right then so we need to sit there.
  • Argue with you about how to get to the car-which surprisingly I will be right about.
  • Make you take me to a party after the concert.
  • Talk to my girlfriends there about the guy from the night before when they ask me.
  • Cut my hand on a beer can and make a HUGE deal about how I'm hemoraging since my blood is too thin to clot.
  • Flirt with other guys again.
  • Have to be taken home by about 1:30.

Gee, I wonder why ALL of my relationships are disfunctional!?!?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

As if we didn't know it was true...

You Are an Irish Coffee

At your best, you are: wild, spontaneous, and outgoing

At your worst, you are: too extreme and reckless

You drink coffee when: you want to keep drinking booze

Your caffeine addiction level: low

Monday, July 11, 2005

Weekend Wrap-Up

My internet at home has stopped working for some unknown reason and being that I was busy I haven't actually had anytime whatsoever to actually request a service call. I suppose my posting will have to be done during fleeting free moments at work.

This weekend was way too short and not as exciting as I had expected. I cut my hand terribly on Saturday and it still hurts. It didn't stop bleeding until yesterday afternoon (apparently my blood was a little thin).

I'm waiting with bated breath regarding the Karl Rove scandal. I can't believe there isn't anything on CNN about this. At least ABC covered it last night that it was him who leaked the CIA agents name to the press.

While we're on the topic of right wing antics I thought I'd bring up censorship. With all the negative posting this weekend I did censor comments and delete them. This is my forum and I reserve the right to censor comments. If you'd like to speak badly of my choices please feel free to do it on your own forum. I deal with enough people calling me stupid at work for just doing my job so I don't really feel the need to deal with it here too. I could sit here and list my creditendials but it's just not my style and while I wasn't too pleased to make the decision to censor comments it's my blog and I'll censor as I see fit.

Friday, July 8, 2005

Robert Burke is an idiot

...and he probably pops his collar.

So I found a list of The 13 Most Overrated Songs, and while some of them I have no comment on others I have to point out just how wrong this moron Robert Burke is; and trust me, he's an idiot. At least he didn't put any Bob Dylan on the list because if he had I would have tracked him down and harmed him.

Since tomorrow I have to:

  1. Work in the morning (horray for overtime)
  2. Have a HOTT date for the Hank Williams Jr. concert
  3. A party to go to after said concert with said HOTT date...The Real Don Steel and I are going to have the times of our lives
  4. Drink copious amounts of beer/whiskey at #2 and #3 (not my preference but when you're doing it country style that's how you have to roll)

I'm staying in tonight to rest up and when I found this list I decided I had to comment on it. Which means you guys are getting 2 Friday night posts out of me (lame for me, fun? for you).

I would also like to point out that I listened to each one of these songs as I commented on them and as a result this took an inordinately long amount of time. Note:I thought it was self explanatory if you clicked on the link that Robert Burke didn't choose all the songs (He only chose "Hey Ya" I'm simply calling him an idiot because 1-this name is at the top of the entry since, go figure he posted it; 2-it's easier then calling 13 people idiots; and 3-he is an idiot for choosing "Hey Ya"

1. “American Pie” - Don McLean

Obviously the guy who wrote this is a heartless prick. It's written about the death of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper. You'd have to be a total asshole to think this song is overrated. He's also probably some jerk who drinks water in bars and doesn't enjoy drunken sing-a-longs. If you've ever sat around a camp fire, drinking beer, at 2 a.m. singing this song while a friend plays the guitar you know it's not overrated.

2. “Light My Fire” - The Doors

While I will admit this is not my favorite Doors song (I'd listen to Roadhouse Blues, Love Her Madly or LA Woman over it most days) it's meaning is The Doors at their best. I'd go so far to say that it's rock music at it's best. Jim Morrison defiantly singing "Girl we couldn't get much higher" on the Ed Sullivan Show, and when he was told they'd never do the Ed Sullivan show he told them "we just did"...It's sex, drugs, rock and roll at it's prime and for that reason alone it's not overrated.

3. “Free Bird” - Lynyrd Skynyrd

We've already established this tool is a heartless prick, another tribute-this one to the deceased Duane Allman. Yet another song you need to sit around a camp fire and sing drunkenly. Fuck, I don't even camp (not being able to shower is a deal breaker for me) and I enjoy singing this song outside around a fire. Plus, like American Pie any song you can play on a Jukebox and get basically 9 minutes of entertainment out of is kick ass and not overrated.

4. “Hey Ya!” – Outkast

If you've ever seen Christyna, Joel and I dance around to this at a party/in my car/or basically anywhere else since we do it whenever it comes on you'd know how wrong this idiot is. If people "shaking it like a polaroid picture" is overrated and wrong then I just don't want to be right.

5. “Pour Some Sugar On Me” - Def Leppard

Any song that is played with the frequency in strip clubs that this one is-or that is as fun to strip to as this song is clearly cannot be overrated. Come on people, this song is about "The Money-Shot", what can be overrated about that? (Sidenote: There are times when I think I have the sense of humor of a man). It's the 1980's hair band version of sex, drugs, and rock and roll...Plus of all the 1980's hair bands Def Leppard kicks the most ass BY FAR! If Cherry Pie by Poison had been chosen I probably wouldn't have debated it, but Def Leppard and the fact that their drummer continued to play with the band after loosing an arm are bad ass.

6. “Wonderwall” – Oasis

This song reminds me of sitting in coffee shops in High School singing along with friends/or sitting by camp fires singing (I apparently do a lot of that) so while I will admit that the publicity around Oasis as the "next Beatles" was a little ricockulous (say it with me: "ri-cock-u-lous") I, for personal reasons, do not think this song is overrated.

7. “Memory” - Andrew Lloyd Webber

It is by far the best song from Cats, and I don't really think it's as overrated as some other Andrew Lloyd Webber (it's also not as good as some of from Phantom of the Opera is better in my opinion). My former friend who was obsessed with Cats was also obsessed with this song and she was annoying in general so I don't have the best memories of this song but if I don't hate it after that I don't think it can be considered overrated.

8. “Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen

Any song sung by a gay man whose music has become a staple of arena rock around the United States (possibly the world-I don't really know) is kick ass (even if this sone isn't one of those songs)...Plus did you see Wayne's World? The range Freddie Mercury uses is this song is simply un-fucking-believeable and as a result it's fun to sing along to and try to duplicate.

9. “I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For” - U2

No U2 song is overrated as far as I'm concerned. There's nothing like turning this song up after a messy break up or when you're feeling lost in life and just "don't know what kind of law you really want to go into/why you're putting yourself through this torture/where your life is going" (ok so maybe that's when I listen to this song). Plus the idiot who made this list didn't even really give a reason for putting it on here (he did discuss how he wanted to put The Rolling Stones or Pink Floyd in this spot-in either case I would have had to cut him).

10. “Totally Wired” - The Fall

I've never even heard this song (or at least don't recognize it off the top of my head) and I'm too lazy to look it up or download it so I know if I've heard it (which I'm sure I have). So I can't really say if it's overrated-but the way this guy is batting right now I bet it's kicks ass.

11. “Born To Run” - Bruce Springsteen

The Boss is not overrated. Ever. This song embodies the working man's rock that Bruce represents. For my money I don't know if there's a better Bruce song, ok maybe Glory Days or Dancing in the Dark...But it's the breathless lyrics that the idiot who made this list complains about makes the song. It's about RUNNING, hence, he's out of breath. Friggin Idiot.

12. “Chewing Gum” – Annie

I don't think I know what this song is, from the discription from the list it doesn't seem like it's from the musical Annie so I'm at a loss and too lazy to investigate if I've heard it. He does mention it was voted the number #11 song of 2004, and I don't remember much (or any) good music from that year so maybe this one is overrated-but the way this dude is going it's unlikely.

13. “Imagine” – John Lennon

As a confessed idealist with leftwing tendencies this song plays to my eutopian version of the world. I love it for that and for how it has come to represent what John Lennon stood for-apparently the heartless ass who wrote this list thought that was one of the reasons it is overrated but for me it's John Lennon's message in one song without the cheesy-ness of All You Need Is Love. Come on, how can you say these lyrics are overrated?

  • Imagine there's no heaven, It's easy if you try, No hell below us, Above us only sky, Imagine all the people living for today...
  • Imagine there's no countries, It isnt hard to do, Nothing to kill or die for, No religion too, Imagine all the people living life in peace...
  • Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man, Imagine all the people sharing all the world...
  • You may say Im a dreamer, but Im not the only one, I hope some day you'll join us, And the world will live as one.

Given the state of the world today I KNOW if more people embraced these lyrics the world would be a better place.

Friday Spies ©

As always, brought to you by the gang at BTQ...

1. Tropical Storm Cindy and Hurricane Dennis are causing trouble in the Southeast this week. Share a natural disaster story.

I decided to go to law school, that’s my natural disaster story.

2. What is your favorite work of art?

It's cliche I know...but probably this...

Or maybe this...(also cliche)

They both remind me of the first class I took that I learned anything about art in and they were my favorite 2 paintings we studied. I was a teachers aide for the teacher that taught it, he got me prints of both of them when he went on a trip to Europe. He knew I loved them and I still have the prints hanging on my wall.

3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle or the bottom?

The bottom, and ok, I’ll admit it…I have a Toothpaste Tube Winder, I got it free from work and I love how neat it keeps everything...Mock if you must, but my teeth obessesion is well documented and I doubt you except any less of me.

Update: I came across this tonight and while I was shocked enough to find out that someone else idolized Elle Woods as much as I do and that she's ACTUALLY a lawyer I was even more shocked to realize we both use tube winders.

4. What is your favorite "cult" film?

My Co-Worker called Napoleon Dynamite a cult classic the other day so if it’s being considered one then I’d have to choose that one. I’m not really into cult films, so the next closest thing would have to be The Big Lebowski...Also not really a cult movie but the way some of my friends are about it I feel like it is...But hey, that's just like, my opinion man.

5. Would you go into space if given the chance? Where would you go?

I can’t get onto an airplane without 4 drinks in me so I don’t think space is really the thing for me.

Thursday, July 7, 2005

Reese Witherspoon for Presidential Advisor!

So I've been saying that Dubya is a fake President for awhile now, but I just had to point out that he's being guided in his nomination of the next Supreme Court Justice by non other then former Tennessee Senator and current actor on the TV series Law & Order, Fred Dalton Thompson. I mean, I'm as big a Law & Order fan as the next gal (despite knowing how fake it is after spending a year in law school) but couldn't we have set our sights a little higher?

Why not have Reese Witherspoon advise in the process? After all, I'm sure she learned a lot about the law filming Legally Blonde, and even more about the law and politics while filming Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde. By the way, TBS will be playing Legally Blonde this weekend (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) in case you're interested in watching one of the greatest movies ever made.

With this logic Sam Waterston (Jack McCoy) could be nominated Ambassador to North Korea to smooth out that whole situation because of his role in The Killing Fields (granted that was about Cambodia but it's not like we're really checking into people's credentials nowadays are we?

Pucker Up...

As some of you may already know yesterday was National Kissing Day in the U.K. (yes I do feel shallow posting about this today with the horrible events that transpired today in London but I have nothing really moving to say about it so I decided I'd go on with my post since I planned on writing it last night). The exciting news is that ended up celebrating National Kissing Day, (which if you had asked me earlier in the day if I intended to do so you probably would have gotten a resounding "NO"-and then I probably would have called you a jerk for pointing out that I currently single).

It's not like the lucky boy is a long term prospect and it's not like I haven't kissed him before but, hey, I got to celebrate when I really didn't expect I would.

God, I can't believe I'm lame enough to be posting about unexpected kissing on my Blog of all friggin places...I long to be back in my 1L days where I seriously think I kissed 1/2 the available guys.

In other news: I skinned my knee on my way into work today. I was rushing across the parking lot since I was 15 minutes late (I was going on 4 hours of sleep on account of the kissing and slightly hungover). So as I was attempting to get into work a few seconds earlier I tripped on a tiny piece of wood, fell down, scrapped my hand, scuffed my brand new khaki capri's and skinned my knee really badly. My co-workers all claim it wouldn't have happened If I hadn't been wearing 3 1/2'' heels (but without them I can't reach things easily and it just makes my job easier in general-yes I do wear 3 1/2'' heels to work at a Parks and Recreation office).

I'm even more upset since I don't really see any potential for a lawsuit here-I've been thinking it over and this is all I've come up with (proving I am, in fact a law nerd):

  1. The Park owed me a duty of care in making sure they maintained a safe parking lot free of hazards, and being that a 2'' x 1'' piece of wood is clearly a hazard they breached that duty, causing me physical pain and damage to my brand new capri's. They will argue I was contributorily negligent by rushing and wearing those heels, but I can counter that it was foreseeable as I am late/hungover frequently and wear those heels almost everyday...Plus I don't think contributory negligence bars recovery in Michigan, but then again maybe I assumed the risk by rushing/being hungover/wearing heels-but the same foreseeability argument could be applied to this theory.
  2. I also thought about some kind of workers compensation claim, being that I started getting paid at 8:30 and it was 8:45 but I don't really know anything about this area of law as it was not a required 1st year course.
Any lawyer out there who would like to take my case would have be willing to work on contingency fee, as I have no assets other then ones I was...ahem...born with.

Tuesday, July 5, 2005


While this doesn't really give the display on my lake the props it deserves it's my favorite pic since I love "sparkley" fireworks and the reflection off the lake is amazing. Usually there are 3-5 fireworks like this lighting up the sky at once but this simple picture was my favorite of the ones I snapped of the display. Posted by Picasa

The "I just got internet back" edition...

My desktop was wrecked by my annoying cousins this weekend somehow-all I know is that after they used it Saturday it stopped working...I haven't had time to fix it with the huge party Sunday and then resting and actually enjoying my only real day off on Monday. This wouldn't have been so bad if my laptop hadn't been refusing to connect to my wireless internet during this time frame-but for now it appears that my laptop and I are back on speaking terms...HORRAY!

So now I'm just going to take a little time to rant about a couple things that have been on mind/mention what happened this weekend.

  1. I'm so sick of any Justice with left leaning tendencies being denounced as "activist judges." I found an old article today that I really liked-plus it's what I've been saying for months now. It's bothered me for a long time-but then with the "re-activist" ruling in the Kelo case and the future of a woman's right to choose hanging in the balance it's really started to piss me off. O'Connor was a swing vote on women's issues in cases such as Casey and I just don't see this administration replacing her with someone who has similar views. Being that Casey was a 5-4 decision this makes me very concerned.
  2. I'm too pissed to even talk about the ruling the Kelo case-apparently Republicans feel individual rights should not interfere with corporate plans...The sad part is that I'm surprised. However, the fact that someone has filed to have Justice Souter's property taken as an exercise of eminent domain to build the Lost Liberty Hotel is the best thing I've heard in days. The plans include a museum outlining the lost of liberty, the "Just Desserts" Cafe, and each guest receiving a copy of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged.
  3. If you're someone that I consider an "ex-fling" you might not want to show up to my parties (particularly ones that my whole family is at-I guess it was made better by the fact that there were 200 other people here but I still had to sit with you at my table and that was LAME). Regardless of whether your friends are coming or even if I said you could come-I was just being polite when your friends asked me if it was cool and you should really have the common sense to realize it's not a good idea to show up. The other "ex-fling" who was hanging out with you guys knew better then to show up-but then again he knows about you and you don't know about him and he probably had the common sense to realize it would be REALLY awkward for me to have both of you there.
  4. I got really drunk at said party and I'm rather sure I won the coveted "Drunk Award"-there is some debate over whether I really did since I did a really good job of hiding my drunkness (uncharacteristic-I know) and I've been informed that "that just isn't an award you win on the sly."
  5. I threw up this morning when I brushed my teeth so I called into work-that means I've worked 3 of the past 11 days and if I go in Wed-Friday it'll be 6 of 16 by next Monday...While this sounds awesome when I have to pay my car payment it's going to suck-looks like I won't be going out at all in July. I can't wait to get my student loan refund for the fall so I'll actually have money again. Until then does anyone have any sort of "get rich quick" schemes?

Friday, July 1, 2005

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

-Albert Einstein

I am so pissed off right now I can barely focus enough to type. My alcoholic uncle didn't go into work today (he owns a restaurant that services an office building) so my grandma (she's 77) had to go in with my grandpa (also 77-he goes in everyday and helps my uncle for free). So that leaves me here alone, trying to get ready for this damn party. Do I even have time to be blogging about it?-no, am I?-clearly I am.

Apparently he has an ulcer (which means he's not supposed to have carbonated things) so the case of beer he drinks everyday sometimes "upsets his stomach" and he's up "throwing up all night." Funny how he knows this will happen by like 8:30 the night before. Funny how when I talked to him on the phone he sounded fine. Funny how he has ME type his menus for him everyweek instead of a) buying a computer, b) going to the library, c) going to kinko's. He left a damn menu for next week for me to type when he was here yesterday afternoon-since I'm not super fucking busy right now. He's also too weak to help us get ready for said party. I suppose that will happen when you ever eat since you'd rather get your carbs/calories from beer and even when you do it you throw it all up.

Clearly I'm a nice person who feels a lot of sympathy for people-but when this happens over and over again I'm left wondering-WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T HE JUST SWITCH TO LIQUOR SO HE CAN BE DRUNK AND DRINK SOMETHING NON-CARBONATED!?!?!

In the spirit of hating people I'll leave with you some stupid ass chain letter my mom sent me (You know what I hate-fucking chain letters, at least this one was sorta funny).

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

  1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
  2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
  3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
  4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
  5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
  6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"...Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
  7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
  8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
  9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

And while we're on the topic of stupid people I thought I'd throw this one in too...

Miles Kendall is a Douche, in case you needed more proof check here or here or check his Girlfriends' website here.

I just wanted to take this time to tell you that Vince Vaughn is so HOTT!

I had to post the one of him in a cowboy hat since:

  1. I love the southern gentlemen
  2. Vince is so hot in this picture
  3. I'm going to the Hank Williams Junior Concert (even though I won't fit in) and I wanted to show everyone what kind of man in a cowboy hat I hope to meet there Posted by Picasa

Smokin!!! Posted by Picasa

Despite the white socks he's still hot. Did I mention he's 6'5''? Posted by Picasa