Theodore's Pool Day.

In the yard telling me how I need to fill the pool.

Filling the Pool.

Trying to get his Toys.

Testing the waters.

Finally in the Pool.

Thinking his Goldfish is coming after him because of the currents from the hose.

Doggie Treats

In honor of Take Your Dog to Work Day, which Theodore will be attending, I thought I'd share my dog treat recipes. This way you know exactly what is in the treats and they are low in preservatives and fillers.

Peanut Butter Treats:
3 Cups of Whole Wheat Flour
1 1/4 Tablespoon Baking Powder
1 1/4 Cup Peanut Butter
1 Cup (Soy) Milk

Combine dry ingredients. Combine peanut butter and milk until smooth. Gradually stir peanut butter mixture into flour mixture. Knead dough by hand and then roll out on a floured surface (I use whole wheat flour) to desired thickness and cut out treats. (I have an adorable bone-shaped cookie cutter about 1'' long). Bake on a cookie sheet for 15-20 minutes at 400 degrees and allow to cool before serving.

Cheesy Treats
4 Cups Whole Wheat Flour
3/4 Cups Vegetable Oil
3 teaspoons Garlic Powder
2 Eggs
1 1/4 Cups Shredded Cheese
1 1/4 Cups (Soy) Milk

Combine flour and garlic powder, gradually add vegetable oil, eggs, cheese and milk. Knead dough by hand and then roll out on a floured surface (I use whole wheat flour) to desired thickness and cut out treats. Bake on a cookie sheet for 15-20 minutes at 400 degrees and allow to cool before serving.

Petri Dish

Being the tremendous germophobe that I am, I find these really creepy and I cannot see a practical use for them outside of prop for a weirdo biology teacher or uber nerdy child. I had a math teacher in high school who celebrated Pi Day with her husband (a mathematician), I could easily see her science teacher doppelganger exchanging these for monumental occasions likes the start of cold and flu season.

However, I am tempted to get Theodore the Giardia one so that he can toss it around and kick its ass.

Friday Dog Blogging: You Tube Edition

Theodore attempts to get kibble from his buster cube.

Friday Dog Blogging: Cutie Edition

Cutest Thing I've Heard In Awhile

Lately, my dad has been getting off work rather early in the afternoon, which means Theodore spends a few hours in the kitchen and then is free to roam the house once my dad gets home.

Theodore immediately goes and lays on my bed for the remainder of the day. Then, at 5:30 he comes out and sits about 5 feet from the front door, staring at it, waiting for me to come home.

Friday Dog Blogging: Ball Boy

Teddie sits on his "Other Mom" (Read: Grandmother) holding his favorite of four identical mini tennis balls.

Friday Dog Blogging: I Need To Take Pictures Earlier In The Week Edition

Theodore enjoys one of his rawhides.

Friday Dog Blogging: You're Home Edition

Everyday when I get home from work, after the jumping and excitement on Theodore's part has stopped, I get looked at with sad eyes asking if I'm going to leave him again tomorrow. It's something like this:

Separation Anxiety Update

Well, I survived. As did Teddie, in fact I think he was probably more well adjusted than I was.

Life at the firm is already insane. I won't really be posting about it until I feel the environment out. But I will say I already have my own clients and I'm meeting with them alone, drafting pleadings, and (obviously) arguing motions.

Separation Anxiety

Tomorrow I have what I'd consider a stressful day. I have to argue in court for the first time ever (I've yet to even go to motion call). To make the experience even more fun, my boss will be there. I spent the day fighting the urge to cry and/or throw up from the nerves.

Plus I have to leave Teddie for the longest time period I've ever left him. He has never been alone more than 6 hours, so I've always crated him. However, the way things work out tomorrow he'll have to be alone for about 10 hours. Being that I'm already stressed, the guilt of that proved to be a bit too much. I am attempting to see if he can be left in the kitchen, which led to him crying to be let out, which led to me crying out of guilt for being unfair to him, which led to my dad telling me to get a grip. Admittedly I was being overly emotional, but it's not like I was just crying about the dog situation, it was clearly a combination of everything.

Friday Dog Blogging: Birthday Edition

Teddie licking all the carob dip off his birthday treat.

I'm Glad It's Your Birthday, Happy Birthday To You.

Today is Theodore's first birthday. We celebrated with a trip to the Doggie Bakery where we got Carob Frosted Doggie Treats for him to enjoy tonight. We also went to the pet supply store and got him a couple new toys, a new bag of rawhides, and a couple other treats.

The only bad part is I always feel bad after giving him a rawhide, since all he does is pace around the house for an hour, stressed out, trying to hide it.

Friday Dog Blogging: Belated Edition

Friday Dog Blogging: Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Theodore has been getting a lot of additional attention since his Uncle has been home. I think he's had to go into his crate for about 2 hours total in the last week since someone is always home now. Plus his Uncle has been trying to take him for runs. Theodore generally refuses to run and braces himself with all 4 legs so his Uncle usually ends up carrying him like a football, until they get close to home when Theodore wiggles out and sprints to the front door.

In unrelated news, I am currently debating if leftover Tiramisu could be considered a breakfast food. Unfortunately, I am leaning towards no.

I Still Cannot Compose Coherent Paragraphs.

It should come as no surprise that it was another [Woods] Family Christmas for the record books. In no particular order:

1. Uncle Crackhead brought his girlfriend's new 5lb puppy to Christmas Eve. It was bought at a Pet Shop, do not even get me started on my hatred of people who buy animals from pet shops.
2. After Theodore had played with the dog my Uncle blurted out that the dog has Giardia. Apparently bringing a dog with an extremely contagious (to humans and other dogs) parasitic infection to a holiday function is fair-game. After I found this out I elected to take Theodore home.
3. Said puppy was purchased OVER A WEEK AGO yet the prescription has not been picked up. Most likely the dog will die of the infection before they get around to taking care of it.
4. Neither Uncle Crackhead or his Girlfriend are allowed unsupervised visitation with their children, yet they got a dog. Obviously they are already taking stellar care of the puppy.
   
5. My brother and Cousins organized a beer pong tournament in the basement. All of participants were under the age of 21.
6. On the way home my brother drunkenly declared to my parents that he "smokes weed" and is "proud" of it. I repeatedly advised him to shut up. I finally understand how Criminal Attorney's feel when their clients just cannot keep their mouths shut to the cops.
7. Giving Theodore bones really just results in stress to him, as he paces the house trying to find a place to hide it (since all the humans he lives with are clearly dying to steal his treats).
8. My brother apparently still suffers from bouts of sleep walking like he did as a child.
   
9. When my brother is sleep walking he seems to think his door is a toilet.
10. Yelling "Stop pissing on your door! Why are you doing that?" to someone who is sleep walking is an ineffective way to wake them. They might respond, but they will not wake up.
    
11. Telling them to clean up their piss while they are sleep walking is also an ineffective way to wake them, however, eventually they will clean it up if you nag them enough and direct them on each individual step.
    
12. Even making someone who is sleep walking shower does not wake them up. They still won't remember anything in the morning.
13. Sleep walking is a really weird disorder.
14. Shopping today was awesome.
    

Yeah. I need therapy after these Holidays.

Discussion With Theodore: Part II

Scene: Elle Woods enters the house, Theodore, who is usually secured in his crate meets her at the front door.


Elle: What the hell are you doing out here? I put you in your crate this morning.

Theodore: Those bars can't hold me bitch.

Elle: No, seriously Circus Dog, how did you get out?

Theodore: I could tell you. But I'd have to kill you.

Elle: I'd love to see that. Since you lack the dexterity and oppose-able thumbs.

Theodore: Are you sure you stupid bitch?

Elle: You're calling me stupid? You ate your own shit one day last week.

Theodore: [Vomits].

Elle: Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell did you eat after your little escape?

Theodore: I forget, get down here and clean it up, maybe you'll figure it out dumbass.

Elle: Stop talking to me like that. See if I give you any rawhides for the next week.

Theodore: Whatever, that other bitch will.

Elle: You're talking about your grandmother like that now?

Theodore: [Vomits].

Elle: That better be it you freak.

Theodore: If you're lucky. Now, will you please sit the fuck down. I need someone to sit on and warm myself up and since you're the only one here I'll guess you'll do.

Elle: Like I want you around me.

Theodore: Come on baby, I'll never treat you like this again. You know how sorry I am when I hurt you, but you make me do it baby. I get jealous when you go out all day and leave me in that crate. You don't know what it's like to worry that you're playing with other dogs.

Elle: You're plenty of dog for me right now, don't worry.

Discussion with Theodore

I borrowed the dog translator from Law with Grace to help transcribe this recent conversation.

Theodore: Boots? You fucking expect me to wear boots?

Elle: Well you were limping and acting like you hurt your paw on the salt the other day.

Theodore: So you bought a dog shoes? You've finally lost it.

Elle: It's not like they're pumps. Besides, I got you a matching sweater.

Theodore: Ohh, the fact that you're trying to put me in a matching outfit makes it so much better. I tolerate the sweaters since it's fucking cold where you were dumb enough to decide to live. You're really an embarrassment, I hope you know that.

Elle: I know you're in your "teenage years" but you do not need to call me an embarrassment. Do you think I like it when you lick where your testicles used to be in front of people?

Theodore: I can't believe you have the audacity to bring that up. You castrate me and then pass judgment about how I choose to mourn the loss of my masculinity. I can't even properly hump those long haired whore dogs next door, and those bitches are begging for it if you know what I mean.

Elle: Thanks for that visual imagery. You were castrated when I adopted you, by the way. I thought you'd appreciate the boots. They could make going outside to go potty a bit more enjoyable.

Theodore: Potty? God you're an idiot. You know what would be more enjoyable. Not freezing my non-existent balls off when I have to go outside. I'm going to convince your brother to take me back to California with him when he leaves. I hear the bitches out there are major sluts.

Elle: Your uncle didn't even like you when you first got here. He only likes you now since he doesn't have to dog-sit you anymore during the day. Plus he'd just use you to pick up girls.

Theodore: You're jealous of our bond. He told me I'm the best wingman he's ever had. Back to the topic at hand, I have a much better solution the wearing boots issue.

Elle: Fine, what is it you spoiled brat?

Theodore: I'm just going to piss in the house. See if you can stop me dumbass.

Snowy Weather

Theodore spent the day enjoying the fresh powder.

Friday Dog Blogging: Dog Butt Edition