Discussion With Theodore: Part II

Scene: Elle Woods enters the house, Theodore, who is usually secured in his crate meets her at the front door.


Elle: What the hell are you doing out here? I put you in your crate this morning.

Theodore: Those bars can't hold me bitch.

Elle: No, seriously Circus Dog, how did you get out?

Theodore: I could tell you. But I'd have to kill you.

Elle: I'd love to see that. Since you lack the dexterity and oppose-able thumbs.

Theodore: Are you sure you stupid bitch?

Elle: You're calling me stupid? You ate your own shit one day last week.

Theodore: [Vomits].

Elle: Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell did you eat after your little escape?

Theodore: I forget, get down here and clean it up, maybe you'll figure it out dumbass.

Elle: Stop talking to me like that. See if I give you any rawhides for the next week.

Theodore: Whatever, that other bitch will.

Elle: You're talking about your grandmother like that now?

Theodore: [Vomits].

Elle: That better be it you freak.

Theodore: If you're lucky. Now, will you please sit the fuck down. I need someone to sit on and warm myself up and since you're the only one here I'll guess you'll do.

Elle: Like I want you around me.

Theodore: Come on baby, I'll never treat you like this again. You know how sorry I am when I hurt you, but you make me do it baby. I get jealous when you go out all day and leave me in that crate. You don't know what it's like to worry that you're playing with other dogs.

Elle: You're plenty of dog for me right now, don't worry.