Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Naming Posts Annoys Me.

I just researched and wrote a Summary Disposition motion and Brief in Support for my Pretrial class in 3 hours. Coffee wasn't really even necessary. In fairness I think I should have put the laptop away and written it in crayon, but I'm done with it for the evening.

Training Day

After almost 2.5 years of law school my family has figured out that if I brew coffee after 7 p.m. they should not even bother talking to me. Now I just have to find a way to transfer this over to "never talk to me at all" when I'm studying for the bar.

Monday, October 30, 2006

More Apathy.

Today I was sitting around talking to a friend about the current state of the law in the field we practice, the upcoming election, and life in general.

There was an older gentleman sitting near us, who once my friend left questioned where I worked based on what we had been talking about.

Of course he knew [Hours], and proceeded to say how he's "a pretty nice guy" and then kinda get a look on his face which seemed to communicate "is he still a complete ass?"

I just gave him a smile and said "yeah he's a nice guy, and it's never boring."


Have I been posting less? I feel I've been posting less. Lucky for you I'm not about to embark on a P.E.D.E. like The Hot Librarian. Nobody wants that.

The long and the short. School sucks. I have a Summary Disposition Motion (and Brief in Support) due Wednesday which I've barely worked on. I realized today that it was going to be a A LOT more work than my previous estimates had led me to believe. Normally I'd just not work tomorrow, but [Hours] has a presentation he's giving this weekend (read: I do all the research, create the powerpoint and the handouts for the presentation and he gets to copyright it and put it on his resume) and he's made me swear on my life that I'd be in tomorrow.

Currently [Hours] and I are in an epic power struggle. I refused to do some work which I was morally against and ever since then he's been on a quest to teach me that "the only thing that is important in my life is what comes out of his mouth." Therefore I've been on a quest to be as defiant as I possibly can be while still giving him the illusion that I'm submitting to him in order to keep the workplace environment less hostile. It's a very healthy relationship we're cultivating.

Plus I'm realizing that I can't leave my job since:

  1. I'd lose my bonus, which would be sad. Stupid me for saving all my monthly bonuses for meeting my hours until the end of the year.
  2. I'm a 3L who is graduating in May. Nobody will want to hire me.

I wish I had stuff to write about, but in reality school is the same (law students are still socially inept, nothing is going to change there) and work has gotten to a point where if I blogged about what was happening it would be very clear it was me since [Hours] has gotten so out of hand. La Di Da.


Once again Detroit loses to St. Louis. This time it hurt less.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Yet Another Reason I Do Not Understand Men...

Tonight [Best Friend] and I went to see some friends of ours who are in a band play. It was a Halloween themed gig and while all the other females took it as an opportunity to dress like sluts wear outfits that barely covered their ass, we decided to go as a couples costume. Namely, Bacon and Eggs (I was the egg). We went in under the assumption that we'd look like weirdos, but that it would be fun, so who cares. What I hadn't planned for was getting hit on, a lot.

Let me preface this with the fact that when we go out generally we're with a group of our guy friends so generally while we get checked out, we rarely get approached. That, and we're so hot that guys are afraid to talk to us.

Tonight I was hit on NON STOP. I practically went into shock. Some of the choice pick up lines:

  • "I must say, you look delicious."
  • "You look like you need to scrambled"
  • "I'm hoping you're over easy."
  • "I'll assume that's what you want me to make you for breakfast tomorrow morning."
  • "Do you need to be flipped or are you ready for me now?"
  • "I don't eat pork, but I'd eat the hell out of an egg."

The strange part was that the "skankily clad" girls seemed to be getting left alone. Plus my ex kept nagging me to dance with him.

So Weird. So. Weird.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Boy Oh Boy...

All day my underwear was riding up, which I found to be odd since I had my favorite pair of boyshorts on. At first I thought that the obvious cause of this was that my behind had grown substantially overnight. Now it has become clear to me that I wore them backwards.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

How Does it Feel?

Apparently, there is a show on Broadway featuring butchering the music of Bob Dylan. I can't imagine Bob is ok with this:

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


I came to the decision that I hate all of my father's family and that I'm sick of dealing with them and all their issues. I was also recently diagnosed (again-I'm finally starting to believe it) as having atypical depression.

Was this ever a law blog? I really do not remember writing about the law or anything related to it.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Reply All

A 1L replying all to a job posting is somewhat understandable. 2L doing it is just pathetic. I won't even touch on the giddiness thus guy exhibited.

I haven't used the reply all feature since I was a senior in high school and I all my friends who had went off to college were all sending around updates on their status and how classes were going. In a fit of bitterness I typed up something complaining about all my classes but ranting in particular about my Honors English class and how the teacher was giving us juvenile work such as journals and even the real work that we did turn in she didn't bother to grade. Needless to say, that teacher had been included in all the emails for whatever reason and ever since then I've been spectical of the reply all button.

Princess Grace

So far today I have managed to:

  1. Slip on a banana peel. Seriously.
  2. Walk directly into the glass door to the computer lab which I know you need to enter a code in order to open.


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Dear Life,

I hate you. We should break up.

With utter disdain and contempt,
Elle Woods

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Do Your Job.

Once again Blockbuster never ceases to amaze me. A little background: Granted, I have netflix so there really isn't a need for me to "leave the house" for such things as movies, but back when Grey's Anatomy came out on DVD I wanted to see it right away and Netty had "short wait." So I went and rented them. The lady tried (and succeeded) in trying to get me to join some "rewards" program. The benefits of the reward system were as follows:

  1. A free rental after you rented 5
  2. A free "favorites" with the rental of a new release Monday-Wednesday
  3. A free "favorite" each month

Given that I was getting 5 movies at that time, I figured it was worth it. I, however rambled on about how I didn't know why I was doing this since I had netflix. This prompted her to give me a code for a month free of blockbuster online. When I entered the code, it didn't work right, so I pulled out my junior lawyer card and wrote a strongly worded letter. Blockbuster responded by adding 4 weeks free to the 2 week free trial, a move I appreciated. Anyway, blockbuster online comes with a coupon for a free instore rental each week.

Anyway, all this basically means that on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I can get 3 movies and pay for one. In theory. However trying to get this through the store clerks is like pulling teeth. Literally I've been through this with them 4 times. Then they look at me like I'm a total BITCH for daring to question whatever skills it takes to incorrectly ring up videos. Then they act like I'm the one holding up the other customers. Call me crazy, but maybe you screwing things up is causing the slow down.

Ok, whatever, I don't have a point other than the fact that I'm one rant away from a whole new level of bitter.

Monday, October 16, 2006


So I made it almost 3 days without wireless (really only one when I was around) before I caved. I returned a pair of shoes I'd recently bought...Seriously I chose something over shoes, that is a first for me, and it's not even summer when I can use my computer outside.

Anyway, I bought the new router and then I had to go about installing it. I should note here that my last one was installed my a gracious friend who allowed me to pay him in homemade lasagna and white russians.

So I set about installing it. Filled with false confidence, since my dad as assured me that you just pop in the CD and follow the steps.

Everything is going great, until I get to the part where I setup the wireless. I try twice on my laptop. Twice on the desktop. Each time the hangup is that I don't know the username or password. By this time I've read through all the paperwork, no mention of a username or password.

Then I hassled aLs for a bit. No help at all, just as I suspected.

Finally I call tech-support for the router which is supposed to be offered "at a reasonable price." I pulled out my junior lawyer card, told them I was missing my username and password and as such I should not be charged for tech support since it was their fault I didn't said information.

Next the guy asks for the serial number, and tells me to check the bottom of the router for it, at which time I notice the username and password are clearly printed just under the serial number.

Luckily I wasn't charged and I am again able to use my computer in bed without the fear of being strangled.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Weekend Update...

My wireless is out so expect posting to be semi-shoddy until I get the money together for a new wireless router and/or start going to class. (So that should be around January).

Dr. Feel Good and I were at the Tigers game on Saturday. I'd be lying if I said I thought the Tigers could do it at the start of the season. In reality, I think the only person I know who actually thought they could is a friend of mine who is featured in this video.

Ohh, and umm...Michigan, yeah, they're number #2 in the AP Poll. So hott.

Sexy Sunday #8

Ok, so I forgot last week. But I'm making up for it this week. With a classic.

Friday, October 13, 2006

There's No Crying in Baseball!

In honor of the Tigers going to the World Series, I bring you my 3 favorite quotes from Baseball movies of all time. Anyone who can name all of them without cheating will be entered in a contest to re-enact what is described in #3.

  1. You put snot on the ball?
  2. You're killing me Smalls!
  3. Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days...Goodnight.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

It's Great to be a Michigan Wolverine.

Ohh Ohio. You and your colourful residents never cease to amaze me.


Bill, More, and Hours has been freezing, being that it's snowing outside and all. I was just informed by a girl in my class who works in the same building that the management is refusing to turn the heat on until "November" (no word on what time).

I'm so going to end up stealing a secretaries sweater.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Criminal of the Day

The client of my friend (the Public Defender) who wants to "sue the pigs" for "theft" since they refused to "give back her coke" when she was arrested for Drunk Driving (and possession of cocaine).

What is the world coming to when the cops won't give back your blow?

Over Generalization of the Day:

People with Jesus Fish/Bumper Stickers/License Plates are the worst drivers. This also includes people who have "God" as their co-pilot.

Welcome to My Nightmare

I just woke up from one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. Worse then the one I had as a kid where snakes were climbing up my heating ducks and my parents had to buy me an ALF doll. Since ALF stayed up all night and ate cats it seemed logical to my young mind that ALF would be up all night anyway and since we didn't have cats he'd have to eat the snakes.

Interestingly enough, the first thing I likened the dream to was law school.

I was a prison guard, who was somewhat of mentor to a prisoner. However, this wasn't just any prisoner, it was a childhood friend.

There was a prisoner, who happened to be a white supremacist, who arrived at the prison and seemed to have a vendetta against me.

So the prisoner started a prison riot, just so he could come after my friend and I. At which point, I bashed him in the face with a chair, repeatedly. I'm a non-violent person, so the sight of this was understandingly upsetting.

Then once the riot was over he again attacked me. This time I woke up just as he had pinned me to the ground to most likely rape me.
Why did I liken all this to law school?

  1. The same childhood friend is a year behind me in a law school and I serve as a mentor to her there.
  2. What was the prisoner wearing? Ohh, a shirt sporting my law school's name. What else?

My subconscious is turning law school into violent torture dreams.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Help! I need Somebody!

I have a friend who I have known since I was 5 years old. He is an engineer, and is considering law school. Nothing I say to discourage this is getting through to him.

Hence, I need your help with stories and advice to get through to him that law school is an awful idea. E-Mail me at legallyblondeblog@gmail.com and hopefully together we can talk him out of this.

Special Law Student at Play

I had to take today off so I could work on:

  1. Interrogatories for Pretrial which are due tomorrow.
  2. A dep outline for Pretrial for a dep I'm taking tomorrow.
  3. An outline and source list for a 30 page paper; which, in reality, was due Thursday of last week but I didn't happen to notice it on my "Tasks List" or my "Calendar" or the "Syllabus" when I looked at it on Tuesday of last week.

I've known I had all of this since about Thursday of last week, but what I did I do last weekend? Watched the Michigan/Michigan State game, watched the Tigers crush the Yankees, and painted my parents house while they were out of town.

I really should have taken my "labor intensive" classes last year.

Monday, October 9, 2006

You, You Got What I Need

I heard "Just a friend" by Biz Markie on the radio today. Sheer genius. I dare you to watch the video and not smile.

"She had 9-10 pants and a very big bra."

Thursday, October 5, 2006

Marijuana may stave off Alzheimer's

Isn't it ironic?

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

The Brent Musberger Drinking Game

I found this little game sometime after the end of the college football season last year and have been saving it. I thought Michigan/Michigan State Week would be a good time to share it.

  1. "The Pardner": A person is picked to be the Pardner at the beginning of the game. The first time Brent says "Pardner," the Pardner has to take 1 drink, and then picks someone else to be the Pardner. The next time Brent says it, the new Pardner has to take 2 drinks, and then pick a new Pardner, and so on and so on. The Pardner must wear a special "Pardner" hat.
  2. "Folks": Everyone drinks 1 when Brent says "Folks." However, if Brent says "Hold on Folks", everyone must drink once but the first person to drink has to finish their drink for not holding on.
  3. "It's a foot race!": Whenever Brent says "It's a foot race" everyone has to finish their drink. The first one done becomes "That Man" and gets to punch the Pardner in the arm.
  4. "There's that man again": After someone becomes "That Man," they get to give away 3 drinks to someone of their choosing the next time Brent says "That Man." That person then becomes "That Man." If Brent says "That Man" before "It's a footrace," The Pardner becomes That Man. If The Pardner becomes That Man first, he gets to punch the new That Man in the arm twice after giving away the 3 drinks. There must also be a special hat for "That Man."
  5. "Dr. Pepper": Every time Brent says "Dr. Pepper" everyone has to yell out "I'M A PEPPER!" and take 2 drinks. Afterwards, each person must give out a satisfied "AAAAAAAHHHHH!", as if in a Dr. Pepper commercial. Anyone who fails to do so must drink again.
  6. "Jack Arute": Whenever Brent says "Our ol' buddy Jack Arute" everyone has to say "AROOOOOOT!" Last one to do it has to do a shot. If everyone does it simultaneously, the Pardner must do a shot.
  7. "In the college game": Whenever Brent says this little gem, everyone must say "Shut the f**k up Brent", drink 2, and punch the Pardner in the arm.
  8. Mentioning a Big 12 (ed.) school during a Big 10 (ed.) game: Whenever Brent does this, the first person who names the Big 12 (ed.) school's mascot gets to make somebody drink for 11 seconds, since there's 11 schools in the Big 10.
  9. Calling a touchdown before the player actually scores: For example, during an interception return, Brent says "It's a touchdown!" before the player actually scores. In this case, everyone must start drinking and continue to drink until the player actually does score. If by some odd event, the player does NOT score, everyone must finish their drink.
  10. "Gary, my man": Whenever Brent says "Gary, my man", the Pardner gets to choose someone to be Gary. From that point on, that person must be referred to as "Gary, my man" until the game is over. "Gary, my man" gets to give away 5 drinks the rest of the game any time Brent says "Gary, my man". If someone talks to "Gary, my man" without calling him that, they have to do a shot. If there is someone playing the game actually named Gary, that person is automatically "Gary, my man".
  11. "The Major": If Brent has a pet nickname for one of the players during the game, for example calling Major Applewhite "The Major", everyone must drink 5 anytime Brent uses this nickname. However, "Gary, my man" does not drink but gets to give away 5 drinks since this person already has a nickname of their own.
  12. "John Saunders": The first time Brent quips with John Saunders, everyone must drink 1. The next time, everyone must drink 2, and so on and so on.
  13. In the booth: Whenever there's a camera shot of Brent in the booth, the Pardner must make a toast to Brent. After the toast, everyone must drink 1.
  14. "My Friend": Every Pardner gets to choose a "Friend." The friend must always get up to get the Pardner another drink (since the Pardner will be doing quite a bit of that). However, when Brent utters "My Friend" the friend gets to punch the Pardner in the arm for making him get up so much.
WARNING! Play at your own risk.

Fair and Balanced

Perderass? Perfers boys? Must be a democrat! Don't do any further research into it. Nevermind all those mentions that Dennis Hastert (R-Illinois) helped to cover it up for a year.

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Family Ties

Once again my family proves it's bizarre...

Grandpa: I went and looked at a Thai restaurant today, I was thinking of buying it. The owner had the hots for me.

Me: Ohh?

Grandpa: Yeah, so I told her about my friend Jeff who is married to an asian. He says you haven't screwed until you've screwed an asian...She said "I show you."

Me: Yeah umm, I have some school work to do.

Parking Garage

Hours: I thought you drove a Prius or some earth friendly crap like that.

Me: I used to.

Hours: And now you drive this?

Me: Yeah. I was sick of driving a little car in the snow and barely being able to get out of my driveway.

Hours: I hope you know that's a chick car.

Me: Well; first off, I am a chick; second, you drive a "truck" which is basically the same; and third, if anything mine is MORE manly since yours doesn't allow you to choose when it goes into 4-Wheel Drive like mine does.

Hours: Mine's black, that means it's inherently NOT a chick car. Plus I'm about to buy [dream car].

Me: Relying on color to prove you don't have a chick car really is an interesting approach. Plus you're getting your dream car used.

Hours: Keep it up and I might be able to afford a new one once I won't have to pay you.

Me: That logic is worse than "my car isn't a chick car since it's black," you'd make less without me around. Face it, you're stuck with me now that [ASSociate] is gone.

Hours: I know.

Monday, October 2, 2006

Dear CNN,

I know we've had our differences in the past, but I still visit you with the hope that maybe we'll be able to rekindle our love affair. However, I'm really starting to question your judgment when this:

Is your picture for the story entitled "Girls Executed, Boys let go." Strange choice; strange, strange choice.

Hugs and Kisses,
Elle Woods

Blawging the BLUEBOOK: Things That Go Bump in the Night

So, I agreed to partake in this since it seems like fun. Don't ask me questions since I do not know the answer. Anything with citations is beyond me as I think we all know.

The Rules:

  2. Have it back within a week. (Deadline is next Monday, 9th, at noon).
  3. Send your answers to MiMonAiM@aim.com.
  4. Winner is whoever has all correct the fastest.
  5. MiM has the final authority on who wins.
The Prizes:
  1. A .jpg trophy with your name on it designed by the fabulous aLs.
  2. Choose one topic for every participating blawger to post on the following Monday.
  3. Choose the contest topic for the following month.
  4. A FREE T-SHIRT of your choosing from MiM's stores Here or Here.
  5. A kiss from yours truly...Ok, maybe I made that one up.
The Questions:

1. Which blawger is described by the following rhyme?
This blawgger is always in a state of fright,
That a zombie attack might go bump in the night,
This student is no fool,
He knows zombies will eventually attack his law school,
So even though you might think he's a sap,
This blawger drew up a tactical law school zombie map.
2. In her post, "And now for today's Sexuality and the Law reading excerpt," Ruth quoted an old Plymouth Colony law involving conversing with devils. Which two devils are named in that post? Amicus Curiae, March 2006.

3. On July 20th, Lily Graypure says that she's never seen a ghost or been posessed by a demon. She then claims that never seeing a ghost or demon or feeling the hand of god is evidence that its ok for her to go into corportate law. Why? LawSchoolVirgin, July 2006.

4. The littlest tortfeasor thought that a middle-of-the-night car accident sounded like ________, which is why she blatantly ignored it and went back to bed. Little Tortfeasor, September 2006.

5. The casts of what two 1980’s shows sang at Moonlighting in Misery’s wedding in his post A Midnight Visit from the Ghosts of Posts Past? Moonlighting in Misery, September 2004.

6. When is it acceptable for a one year old to have breasts the size of oranges? 3 Blind Mice and a Sister-In-Law, September 2006.

7. This blawger shows her patroitic side by who she wants to bump her in the night. Who is it she wants?. Legally Blonde, August 2006.

8. One member of this blawger’s study group wrote herself a simple note of one thing she had to do the night before the final. She wrote it on her outline. What did the note say? The Namby Pamby, May 2006.

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Sexy Sunday #7

Since the Housewhores are back, I bring you everyone's favorite homewrecker.

"I'd take State."

Seriously, can someone please explain to me why John L. Smith slapped himself? He's starting to come off as a little crazy.

The clip has been all over the news here, not sure if it's been getting as much national coverage since I can't seem to find it anywhere online.

I'm sure all the state fans out there are excited to see their coach is off his rocker a week before the U of M game.