A teenager goes into a pharmacy...
- He's little bit shy when talking to the pharmacist. "I'd like to buy some condoms" he says.
- The pharmacists asks him, "have you ever bought condoms before son?"
- "Nope."
- "Here is how it works," the pharacist says "we got your three packs for when you are in high school. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. A three pack, see. Then we got a 7 pack when you are in college - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Then we got a 12 pack for when you are married. January, February,..."
Ok I can't help it...here's one more:
- A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand: "Olympic Condoms." Impressed, he buys a pack. Upon arriving home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
- "Olympic condoms?" She blurts. "What makes them so special?"
- ''They're in three colors," he replies, "gold, silver, and bronze."
- "What color are you planning on wearing tonight?" she asks cheekily.
- "Why, gold, of course," says the man proudly.
- "Really?" she responds. "Why don't you wear the silver tonight? It'd be nice if you came second for a change."
Sorry for the cheesy condom jokes but it was the best segway into what I dicovered today I could come up with.
So today when I was looking in my brothers car for something I happened upon some Condoms (yes they really were "ribbed for her pleasure"-and yes I did laugh when I noticed that). The funnier part is that he's in high school and he def had the 3 pack. I was pretty shocked since he doesn't have any sort of steady girlfriend, but whatever.
He's 17 and I suppose he's not doing anything I wasn't doing at his age I'm worried about where he's keeping them. While I applaud the fact that he has them (and hopefully uses them) I'm worried that he's keeping them in the wrong place. I know keeping them in wallets and warm places is bad for the latex so I'm guessing keeping them in a Black Ford Explorer parked on pavement in 90 degree heat isn't the safest place to store them. I was tempted to remove them and leave a note that it wasn't the right place to keep them but I didn't want to leave him without any protection.
So what should I do, I'm too young to be an aunt and he's WAY too young/immature/dumb to be a father? So far the options I've come up with are:
- Hope he read this entry (highly unlikely since he doesn't read really anything besides the playboy subscription I got him for his birthday and has told me my entries are "too long" (as if I didn't know that already) so he doesn't read them
- Go remove them and leave him a note
- Just leave a note
- Bring it up to him (which would be super odd-the conversation my mom made me have with him-since my dad refused- about how oral sex can spread STD's was odd enough-but hey, maybe he's not having sex and he really did listen to me-but I highly doubt it
- Ignore it
- Have my neighbor mention it to him since he's pretty close with him and he's a younger guy
- Have a friend of mine mention it to him
Sidenote: I know my family seems super odd now that I'm admitted:
- I got my brother a playboy subscription-but I really had no clue what else to get him
- That I was the one who had "the talk" with him
- That I'm this concerned about where he's keeping his condoms
5 comments:
I like lists too. Did you notice that the bullets on your lists just happen to look like little rolled-up condoms?
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Wow. I feel like we could be from the same family. I found my ho-bag seventeen year old brother's condoms in the laundry. I guess he forgot to take them out of his pocket...Obviously his plans for the night fell through! Anyway, funny stuff, and I sympathize! My family is probably odd in alot of the same ways as yours, as 2 out of 3 "oddities" apply to me!-Kellie
PS. I heart lists a great deal as well.
I'd believe he wasn't active if he'd ever had them before, but I've had to go look for stuff in his room/car on numerous occasions before and he'd never had them then.
Insulated Lunch Bag. You know, the 3-dollar variety that's just short of being respectable enough to call itself a 'cooler'. Drop in in his car with a note that says it's for 'your film, perishable junk food, and condoms'.
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