Translation

Client #1: I have a question about the Interrogatories. [I am needy.]

Me: Ok. [Big Surprise.]

Client #1: Do you think we can meet to go over them. [I am ultra needy.]

Me: Yeah. Finish the ones you can and then call to schedule an appointment. [I don't want to deal with you right now, but you'd called 5 times in less than 4 hours and I figured my support staff would kill me if I didn't call you back you needy jerk-off.]

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Client #2: I am not going to agree with the settlement. [I am crazy.]

Me: I don't really know what the settlement is, I haven't had a chance to talk to the other attorney about it. [I really don't care.]

Client #2: I think I should have gotten (lists unreasonable demands). [I am really crazy.]

Me: Well, like I said, another attorney handled it, I don't even know if it was placed on the record - in which case you'd be bound by it. [I really don't care.]

Client #2: Can you look into it? [I don't trust anyone but you since you are nice enough to listen to my batshit crazy rantings all the time and the other attorney isn't.]

Me: Yes, I will. But I am going to be honest with you, prepping for 3 trials that are all set for next week, I probably won't do it right away. [You need to step off and relax. I really don't care about your issues right now, but eventually I will have to pay some attention to some of them - the fact that you're crazy is not an issue I am going to deal with, until that day comes, I am a little busy.]