Chronicles of Bill, More, & Hours*

Today was my triumphant return to work at Bill, More & Hours after missing 7 weeks due to mono and finals. As expected, it was blogworthy. Now, for a lawfirm which usually makes their employees work more then a 10 year old in Kathy Lee's sweatshop today was INSANELY boring. I had never actually slacked off on the clock before today, however, I made up for lost time today.

8:58 Arrive at work 2 minutes early (I get to come in late this week since the Partner I work for is off).

9:00 Go back to my old office, my desk has been replaced with a rich mahogany desk and furniture has been add. Thing to myself it's pretty nice of them to give me such an upgrade when I was gone.

9:01 Go to sit down at what I think it my new desk and realize there are pictures of More and his family all over the desk.

9:02 Stand there in shock-Did they give my corner window office to a partner? Did I have a nicer office then him before? Where is my desk? Where is my lamp? Where is my giant pink mug?

9:03 Contemplate sitting down and getting to work...Just then More walks into what he confirms is his new office and is nice enough to explain that he has taken my office and takes me over to my new "office."

9:04 Quickly realize that my new office is not an office at all, but a cubicle.

9:05 Begin formulating plan to get moved into the open office near my cubicle with a view of the river...It isn't as big as my old office (and is not a corner office) but it has rich mahogany furniture, a door, and windows.

9:06 Check desk for personal belongings. Everything seems to be there.

9:07 Turn computer on and sign in.

9:09 Where is my giant pink coffee mug? Ok, I might freak out now.

9:10 Go to the kitchen and check the dishwasher for my mug, it's not there. Decide to personally going around to offices to find mug rather then send out an e-mail. I'd rather ask people if they have it and make it seem like there is a sentimental value if I have to talk to them then send out an e-mail to the whole firm looking like a freak over my pink mug...Plus, I have no files on my desk so why not kill some time.

9:30 Find my mug on Young Female associates desk, steal it back.

9:32 Wash mug.

9:33 Coffee.

9:35 Realize my left click button on my mouse is broken, decide to go ask IT guy for a new one.

9:36 IT guy isn't here, stop by Firm Administrators office and ask for some boring data entry work to do since I don't have anything on my desk and being that Hours is gone until New Year's Eve and knew I wouldn't be billing hours this week I might as well fill it with meaningless busy work.

9:40 Firm Administrator has no work for me, tells me to check with accounts Payable guy when he gets in at 10.

9:41 Decide I'm not going to attempt to find myself a mouse, but rather just use the keyboard and the right click button.

9:42 Meet new associate "Brad" who is working with the Partner I work for. He's HOT.

9:44 Leave a message for Accounts Payable guy that I could help him with work if he'd like.

9:45 Return to coffee, slacking and listening to music on Jesus; wishing I felt comfortable blogging at the office.

10:35 Finally go over the Accounts Payable guys desk since he hasn't let me know if he has any work for me. He says he has to finish from stuff and that it'll be at least 20 minutes. Back to slacking.

10:45 Use the broken mouse as an excuse to get out of doing work which would require printing...Except, I've already figured out how to do basically everything, but the middle aged lady who is trying to get me to do it doesn't know that.

11:45 Accounts Payable guy brings invoices over that need to be entered. Can't find software on my computer, he says he'll hopefully be back, but it might be something the IT guy needs to handle and he isn't in at all today.

11:50 Find a computer not being used and switch the mice. Time to slack some more.

12:00 Lunch with "Juan" the super cute associate who is like 25. Tell him I've yet to do any real work, he decided we're going to go to the Hard Rock and take a long lunch.

12:20 Cocktails.

12:30 Order lunch.

1:45 Finally get back to office.

1:50 Accounts Payable guy has finally figured out the computer stuff. Shows me how to enter invoices.

2:00 Data Entry and Ipod

3:30 Finish biggest stack, decide not to start another one since I have to leave soon for the Dentist.

3:31 Decide to just leave then.

So I did about 90 minutes of real work, that was impressive.

*Clearly, name has been changed to protect my job.