"Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, Turn and Face the Strain."

Just when you thought all hope was lost and were about to send the search party for me some reader was kind moronic enough to give me new material.

XYX writes:

Hey - got any suggestions for law-related pick-up lines?

Ok this question is so wrong on so many levels I barely know where to begin.

1. Do I seem like the type of girl who would respond to a law related pick up line? No, I didn't think so.
2. Do I seem like the type of girl who would hang out with people who would respond to law related pick up lines? See Answer to #1.
3. Seriously, have you even ever seen a girl naked whose G-String you didn't have to put dollars into? Again, see Answer to #1

Ok, I could go on, but in the spirit of the Superbowl I'm going to be nice and give you a little tip. You're going to get a hell-of-a-lot further with a chick by going up to her and introducing yourself. If you get a name in return, she's either polite or semi interested. Offer to buy her a drink (yes this is going to involve you leaving your mom's basement) and try to make conversation. I guarantee this approach gets you more "response" then some lame as pick up line about permissive v. compulsory joinder.

I think that's it. In the immortal words of Law and Alcoholism...Fuck it, I'm out.

¹ My web browser just crashed and for once "Recover Post" worked...HECK YES!

UPDATE:
Canadian Law Student Gone Wild while not the requestor for the pick-up lines has a mocking law school motive which clearly makes his request allowable. Just because I'm feeling bad about the state of things around here lately I did a bit of googling for you and came up with these from Jeremy Blachman, for the 4 of you out there who don't know, he's the writer of Anonymous Lawyer.

Ten Really Really Bad Pick-Up Lines For Lawyers

1. "I know a great way I could serve justice today... should I stop by your office?"
2. "Ow. You stepped on my foot. But I've got an idea for how you can mitigate your damages."
3. "I hear you give great oral... arguments."
4. "Is that a new cologne you're wearing? I like your dis-scent."
5. "I know a whole new de-position we could try"
6. "I find you very appeal-ing"
7. "Before I went into law, I worked in restitution... uh, I mean prostitu-- you get the drift."
8. "I've got a one-pronged test we could try together."
9. "Meeting of the minds? Actually, I had some other parts in mind."
10. "I've heard what they say about guys with big foot... notes."

Two bonuses if it's Bankruptcy Law:

11. "You invite me over, and it'll be an automatic stay-the-night."
12. "Don't worry about that, it's just a strange discharge."