I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life.
I am going to be Britney Spears' Manager, being that she recently fired hers' and is in desperate need of a life coach. I know you're thinking "Elle, are you really such a great influence?" Yes I am, this is Britney we're talking about. I'm pretty sure Joe Francis giving her advice would be better than her following her instincts.
I have never dropped a child, I don't have any failed marriages let alone two, I have never worn cowboy boots (over and over), I realize that a midriff is not exactly proper attire for a mother of two to dawn in public, I don't have substance abuse issues, and while I do appreciate a good Howie Day song now and again I get that maybe he is not the best way to rehab1 her image right now.
Plus as a bonus qualification, in my rebellious (punky) youth I shaved my head and realize that it is not necessary to wear a wig and a hat. One or the other will suffice. Additionally I can offer assistance picking out cute edgy short haircuts once her hair is long enough.
And above all, I realize that geraniums are not appropriate nipple coverings. [Link].
1Rehab. Ha. Ha.
4 comments:
I can only assume, through expressio unius est exclusio alterius, that you have gotten out of a car without underwear and had photos taken of your vag.
She could probably use some help with that. And the thing where she attacked a car with an umbrella.
I am learned in the skill that is wearing underwear and covering the vag, thank you very much.
BUT her mini performance has been a hit with the true fans!!!
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