Wednesday, May 2, 2007

I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life.

I am going to be Britney Spears' Manager, being that she recently fired hers' and is in desperate need of a life coach. I know you're thinking "Elle, are you really such a great influence?" Yes I am, this is Britney we're talking about. I'm pretty sure Joe Francis giving her advice would be better than her following her instincts.

I have never dropped a child, I don't have any failed marriages let alone two, I have never worn cowboy boots (over and over), I realize that a midriff is not exactly proper attire for a mother of two to dawn in public, I don't have substance abuse issues, and while I do appreciate a good Howie Day song now and again I get that maybe he is not the best way to rehab1 her image right now.

Plus as a bonus qualification, in my rebellious (punky) youth I shaved my head and realize that it is not necessary to wear a wig and a hat. One or the other will suffice. Additionally I can offer assistance picking out cute edgy short haircuts once her hair is long enough.



And above all, I realize that geraniums are not appropriate nipple coverings. [Link].

1Rehab. Ha. Ha.

4 comments:

lawschoolrules said...

I can only assume, through expressio unius est exclusio alterius, that you have gotten out of a car without underwear and had photos taken of your vag.

She could probably use some help with that. And the thing where she attacked a car with an umbrella.

Elle Woods said...

I am learned in the skill that is wearing underwear and covering the vag, thank you very much.

lawschoolrules said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spicy Law Girl said...

BUT her mini performance has been a hit with the true fans!!!