Friday, May 18, 2007

PMBR Day #4

Interestingly, despite getting horrible grades in Criminal Law and Criminal Procedure 2, not even taking Criminal Procedure 1, and not working for a firm that does any Criminal work I rocked that section today. I got over 70% on Criminal Procedure and over 45% on the Criminal Law portion (PMBR says getting 40% is good at this point). I hate to admit it, but when the girl next to me told me she got an 18% I felt kinda proud.

Sadly it is almost 9:30 on a Friday night and I finally semi caught up after having slacked yesterday (thanks to The Office and Grey's Anatomy). I still have tons of explanations to read for the questions I've gotten wrong this week (which I was supposed to do this week)-but that will have to wait until Monday and Tuesday of next week which I have "off" since BarBri does not start until Wednesday. I know it's bad to already be "behind" but with the commute, not feeling well, and "cleaning up" my notes like they suggest I just do not have it in me at this stage of the game. Plus most people here do not have those days off so I figure I might as well make use of them.

I also sat down today and made my weekday schedule for May, June and the First week of July. Basically it's BarBri 9-12:30, lunch, work 1-5, dinner, MBE Questions 6-8:30, read BarBri outline for the next day 8:30-11 (luckily this part I won't have to do most days since a lot of the lectures are multi-day and I can do those over the weekend prior). Weekends will be spent practicing essays, doing MBE questions, reading BarBri outlines for the next week, and occasionally socializing with actual people.

I'm also extremely irritable and unbelievably moody. For example...

  • I tried to talk to boy today and I finally had to just tell him I couldn't be nice or take a joke at that minute and that it wasn't fair to him so I'd talk to him tomorrow. I know that wasn't the best solution, but I figure it's better than yelling at him for no reason.
  • I struggle to answer any question my family asks me about the whole process since I just don't want to talk about it, explain what I am doing, or where I am. In reality I just don't think I want to talk to people who are not going through this (or who have recently gone through it) since I just do not think anyone else could understand how I am feeling right now.
  • The people in my class continually get up and leave the room, allowing the door to slam VERY loudly behind them (I seriously have never heard a door so loud) plus a lot of them walk in after the breaks talking without concern for the fact that lecture has started again-every time they walk back in I shoot them a look of death and feel that the next time it happens might just be the time I have a rage black-out and scream at someone about it.
I suppose it's better that I realize I'm being a total bitch than to be oblivious and make no effort to control it, however I can't imagine living in this mental state for over 2 months since it cannot be healthy. At this point my hope is that once I get through PMBR, accept that I just have to do this, and adjust to all of it I will calm down for the most part-until July of course at which point I feel it's completely ok for me to be a neurotic freak.

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