Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Morning Wake Up Call

Alternate title: How I made $25 bucks today.
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8:30 a.m., the house phone rings, for some reason, I answer it.
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Elle: Hello?
Male Voice: Is [Jonathon] there?
Elle: He's working.
Male Voice: (annoyed) I found his wallet. It was on my sister's furnace. I assume he was doing something down there with my niece.
Elle: My dad was doing something with your niece?
Male Voice: Huh? How old are you? Your dad is 20?
Elle: Ohh, I guess you mean my brother. That sounds more like him.
Male Voice: Well, if it's alright I can drop it off for you. I'm not even going to ask what he was doing that he left his wallet on top of the furnace.
Elle: (mumbling) I can guarantee it was one of 2 things.
Male Voice: Excuse me?
Elle: Nothing. I should be around all day, you can drop it off whenever.
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Later in the day....
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Brother: What up?
Elle: I have your wallet.
Brother: The one I lost this summer?
Elle: Yes, but didn't you lose 2 this summer?
Brother: Whatever. I found the 2nd one I lost. Where was it? Did Jill have it?
Elle: No. It was at some other chick's house. On her furnace. I think her name was Amanda. Her uncle called. Super early. Super Annoyed.
Brother: I've never even been to her house. I know who she is, but I've never been there.
Elle: Whatever. You owe me. It's obvious you were either smoking something you shouldn't have been or screwing based on where it was found.
Brother: Yeah. Umm. Do me a favor, I'm sure there are zigzags and condoms in there, take them out in case mom and dad see it before I get home.
Elle: I'm keeping the money in here as an idiot tax, I hope you know that.

1 comment:

GrewUpRural said...

Idiot tax....love it!