Monday, August 15, 2005

"When I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled."

Ok finally, I'm going to post the chronology of my weekend.


7:15: My alarm goes off. I'm supposed to be into work at 8:30 to do work before I go out and work a double dunk tank. I shut off my alarm because I'm tired and decide to get up around 9 and just go in for my visits. I do not bother to call into work and just assume they'll think I decided to come in late.

9:10: I finally get out of bed.

9:15: Fumble my way into the shower.

9:25: Get out of the shower and realize I'm not going to make in by 10:00.

9:45: Make it out the door; hair soaking wet, barely any make-up on, I grab 2 Starbucks double shots on the way out the door.

9:46: Turn on my car and remember I have to stop for gas since I've been driving around with the Low Fuel Light on for 3 days.

9:50: Stop and spend $26 on gas for my Honda Civic.

9:55: I realize I want a bagel so I don't get all jittery from all the caffeine in the Doubleshots. I call work and see if anyone wants anything. I stop and pick up a coffee for a co-worker, an everything bagel, and an iced latte for me (as if I didn't have enough caffeine to begin with).

9:56: I immediately regret the stop as there is a mother with with 5 children in front of me.

10:03: I finally get back to my car to finish the drive into work.

10:08: I rush into work, late as usual. At this point I realize my day is going to most likely not going smoothly.

10:15: Finally go to help the kid I'm working with that day hook up the dunk tank-he tells me he already did while he was waiting for me. I tell him he rocks for being so on top of things.

10:16: Sit around the office since we don't need to leave until 10:45.

10:43: Finally leave for our first visit-at a local Sam's Club.

10:50: Set-Up the Dunk Tank.

11:00: Sit around until Noon when the visit starts. Smoke cigarettes and BS with my co-worker.

12:00: Start the most boring visit I've ever been on. A bunch of Sam's Club employees dunk their managers as a reward for selling membership upgrades.

12:05: The first adult breaks the rules and pushes the target with their hand. I have to repair the Dunk Tank each time this happens.

12:36: I get my first look at Larry and Garry. The mentally challenged twin brothers who were wearing matching outfits (Jeans, Button Down white shirts, U of M Hats and a Red Bandana under the hat to protect their necks from sunburn). You guessed it, their job was to round up the carts in the parking lot.

12:40: Another adult pushes the target. I realize it isn't going to stop anytime soon.

1:15: Another talentless hack who can't hit the target with a softball sized ball pushes the target.
1:20: More boringness.

1:30: More target pushing. I threaten to shut the Dunk Tank down if it continues.

2:00: Larry and Garry's favorite manager (a pretty lady-go figure) gets into the Dunk Tank and they come over to take their shot. Hilarity ensues.

2:03: Larry dunks the manager.

2:04: Garry begins his attempt at dunking her. Larry is holding 3 balls, tossing them to him as Garry (who is holding 2 balls) and then he WHIPS them at the target at a rate of about 5 per minute. It was like watching one of those 3 point contests at a pro basketball game-except the people in the 3 point shoot outs actually make a couple baskets. However, the speed was similar.
2:11: I go stand behind the target and hold it in place, worried I'm going to be injured but he's throwing the balls so hard it's pushing the target back and it's not working right.

2:15: I finally pull the trigger since I realize he's never going to dunk her. He's thrilled and has no idea he didn't actually do it himself.

2:30: They let us leave early since all the employees are done attempting to dunk the managers.
2:35: Get back to the office. Do my daily work.

3:15: Leave to get something to eat before my 2nd visit. I drive by myself out there since my co-worker lives right by where we are working.

3:30: The Smurf walks into the office.

3:40: Eat Jimmy John's.

4:10: Arrive at where we're working at. It's a Hot Air Balloon Festival for a Children's Charity. My co-worker is nowhere to be found. My boss happens to be there so he helps me set up the Dunk Tank.

4:20: I set up tents with my boss while 10 or so of my co-workers stand there and watch.

5:10: BS with my co-workers.

6:00: Start running Dunk Tank.

6:30: Get called a Carney.

6:45: Flirt with the guy collecting money for charity.

8:00: Close Dunk Tank.

8:15: Dump the water that hasn't drained out.

8:30: BS with co-workers.

9:00: Watch the Hot Air Balloon "Glow".

9:20: Leave to go back to the office-by myself despite the fact that one of my co-workers could have ridden back with me and helped me unhook the trailer and unload the bed of the truck.

9:55: Get back to the office.

10:00: Cease being paid.

10:05: 4 of my co-workers pull in, one asks if I'm unhooking alone. I say that I am, yet none of them stop to help me. 4 of them unhook one truck.

10:10: The co-worker who could have ridden back with me get in the office and says something stupid to me. I ignore him and walk back outside.

10:12: I come back into the office, rehang my clipboard and leave without saying anything to my 5 co-workers who are there.

10:13: One of my co-workers chases me out and bitches how I didn't say "Bye" to any of them. I start yelling at him for not having helped me and I tell him to "Go F*ck Yourself."

10:14: I get in my car and speed off.

10:30: I get home. I walk in the house and realize I still have the work truck keys in my pocket.

10:31: Start driving back to the office.

10:46: Get back to the office.

10:47: Go drop off keys.

10:48: Realize my co-workers are still there and avoid them.

10:50: Drive back home.

11:05: Finally get home for the evening, an hour and 5 minutes after I've ceased being paid. I essentially go straight to bed as I'm exhausted, annoyed and know I have to work again tomorrow.


10:30: My mom comes over to my grandparents to set up for the party my brother's team is having there.

11:30: My mom has me go tell a lady she needs to move her car off our neighbors grass since they're really weird about it. Apparently the lady thought it would be a good idea to park it 1/2 in our driveway and 1/2 on our grass instead-when I heard my brother's coach tell her to park it in the cul-de-sac in front of our house.

1:10: I go to leave and don't notice where this dumbass bitch parked. I back my car up into hers. I am so upset I have to call and cancel the hair appointment I've had for 3 weeks.

1:12: I tell the lady her car is "dented."

1:15: I leave home and swing by my parents house. I watch Something's Gotta Give.

2:15: I decide I probably won't get my car fixed-even though part of my bumper is popped off.

3:45: Leave for work at the same place I was the previous night. This time I'm working tethered Hot Air Balloon rides.

4:15: Get to work late.

4:30: My favorite co-worker re-attaches my bumper and I realize the damage isn't that bad. Just a few scratches.

5:30: Help set up inflatables, deal with broken generators and other BS.

6:00: Leave to go grab some Jimmy John's for myself and a co-worker since we haven't eaten all day.

6:30: Get back with our sandwiches and 3-32 oz. soda's and take them out to the girl I'm working with.

6:35: A Hot Air Balloon lady taking the donations for the tethered rides says to us "You girls shouldn't eat that in front of people." I explain that we haven't eaten all day, we're starving and we are working until 11 p.m. so eating is essential. This is just the beginning of the harassment that will ensue.

6:36: She rolls her eyes at me. I throw the Jimmy John's bag down showing my frustration. I call my boss who is organizing the event and tell her what's going on. She comes over and bitches at the volunteers or whoever they are that think they can yell at us.

6:40: My co-worker and I alternate taking people to do tethered rides so that we can possibly eat dinner.

6:41: The asshole lady who won't let us eat and the guy in the Red Shirt (who we'll get to in a couple seconds) change the system so that we can no longer alternate. I could describe the ridiculousness of the system but I think you really needed to see it. Essentially now instead of one group that was waiting to be taken out to the balloon and swaped with the group in the balloon there are 2, each of which MUST have an escort standing with them.

6:43: The guy in the red shirt mocks us for being "the girls who want to eat dinner," this is when I get really annoyed and decide to do what I want.

6:45: I defiantly eat my sandwich as I escort people. I get yelled at by the guy in the red shirt for "being rude." I roll my eyes and continue to do what I want. I then tell my co-worker to go eat.

6:47: I get yelled at by the guy in the red shirt for not moving on-deck group #2 up to the on deck group #1 spot immediately after the group is taken out to the balloon.

6:51: I get yelled at by the guy in the red shirt for standing by my co-worker and talking to her rather then right next to the group I'm escorting.

6:55: I get yelled at by the guy in the red shirt (if you haven't figured it out I had my own system which wasn't the same as his and while mine worked fine he wasn't a fan of it) for not walking back with a group who got out of the balloon-because I helping an elderly lady into the balloon. This time I tell him to lay off.

6:57: Man in the red shirt comes back and suggests that I explain to groups to be sure to wait for us to walk them back as we walk them out to the balloon. I decide to just keep my back to him so he has to come up and tap me on the shoulder to get my attention in the hope this will stop his micro-managing me.

7:01: Man in the red shirt comes over to make sure we're explaining everything to groups and that we're asking them to wait. I tell him to lay off and that if he wants things done his way he should do it, otherwise he should he happy we're helping him and allowing them to use our park for free, not charging them for staff or any of the tents/moonwalks/dunk tanks/etc.

7:03: I call my boss and tell her she needs to send someone else to do tethered rides.

7:10: It starts raining.

7:15: Two guys come over. They work the tethered rides until 8:15 and are never yelled at.

8:30: We finally cut the event short due to rain. My co-workers and I go out for drinks since we're all so frustrated. We all look like hell, are soaking wet, and are tired.

8:35: I take my tennis shoes off and throw them in the back of my car (note that they had been rained on, after I sweated in them and I wasn't wearing socks since I feel too constrained when I do). I grabbed a tank top I have in my car and go change out of my work uniform.

10:30: I finally get home.

11:00: I go to bed earlier then I have in months because I'm so exhausted.

Monday morning I got a pleasant surprise when I realized I did not take my shoes, the ones I walked around in all day...sweated in out of my car. My car smelled disgusting-particularly for someone who does not usually have any sort of odor problems what so ever.

So that was my weekend. It sucked. I spent most of Sunday in bed recovering. Sorry for the excessively long post. Thanks if you read it all.

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