Wednesday, November 9, 2005

It's not my fault-I was born this way!

I used to think I was bad driver because I'm severely A.D.D. and do not take medication for it. Now my dad is undoubtably the worlds worst driver, and the other dad I realized my mom's driving leaves something to be desired. That was when it hit, me-it's genetic. My dad can't drive, my mom can't drive, I can't drive, and my little brother also cannot drive.

My mom's inability to drive became apparent on a shopping expedition this weekend when we had to park in a parking structure. Now, granted, I park in a structure daily, but it's not as if parking structures are really that hard to figure out-they're all pretty much designed the same. The ramps take you up to find more spaces, and then the ramps bring you down to exit. This was a nice mall so there were even signs designating "PARK" and "EXIT"-not really rocket science here.

So after my mother has:

  • Almost gotten hit 8 times
  • Ended up on a down ramp somehow when I had instructed her to go up to park
  • Slammed on the breaks for every overhead beam in the fear that it would take off the top her her Jeep Grand Cherokee
  • Passed 4 spots when I was instructing her "I think there's one right there"

I ask her: "Do you understand how parking structures work?" (Being smart-assed)

And she replies: "NO I DO NOT! I NEVER DRIVE IN THEM AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW!"

I realize I need to back off so I just keep my mouth shut. Even when she couldn't fit her car into the space that a Hummer had been parked in I didn't say anything. However, ever since then everytime I pull into a structute I wonder 3 things.

  1. How could she think the roof of her car was going to hit the ceilings when Hummers fit into the garage?
  2. How bad of a parker are you if you cannot fit a "normal sized" SUV into a spot that a Tank could fit into?
  3. How can someone who has been driving for going on 30 years be that clueless when it comes to parking structures? I've been driving for 6 years and even though I drive in them daily (for the last year or so) I refuse to believe that I have more experience with them.

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