The Most Exciting Thing to Happen in the Law Library Since People Were Caught Messing Around in the Stairwell...

Yesterday as I was busy studying for tax¹ talking on AIM and Blogging in the Law Library a perfect example of the insanity of law students took place right before my very eyes. A 1L, on the eve of his first law school exam, had a seizure/panic attack² in the middle of the law library. This was particularly exciting as I really only go into the law library for 2 reasons:

1. To use the wireless internet
2. To see 1L's cry during memo/exam/appellate brief time

Me being the person that I am, once I was fairly certain he wasn't going to die I used my nicotine craving³ as an excuse to walk outside (and past all the action). This may sound callous but it's not like I stepped over him while he was on the floor, I walked around. As I got outside 3 police cars pulled up to the law school Dukes of Hazard style, and then proceeded to casually stroll in (why drive so fast on a walkway if you're not going to actually hurry when you get out of your car?). Worst, was that the guy carrying the "Heart Start" (not that they needed it) was the last to pull up and was the slowest walking in. Figuring the excitement was over I flicked my cigarette butt and started to walk back inside from the cold. Just as I did an ambulance pulled up and the EMT's rushed in...This was when I realized things were being blown out of proportion. Unless they were going to give the poor guy a valium or xanax drip there wasn't much that could be done for him and if he's really that stressed it's not like he'd leave the library to go to the hospital anyway.

All I can think of is how happy I am not to be the type of person who would put my body through that much stress anymore over something that by that point in time you have little to no control over.

Anyway, if you're out there kid I hope your exam went well today. If it didn't just remember these few words of wisdom:

• Nobody really fails Law School Exams. The bar is there to weed out the people who can't hack it so Law Schools want to keep you around and get the tuition money.
• If you're not in the top 10% no one will ever ask to see your grades anyway.
• If I can get a firm job (and be told I do better work then most associates) anyone can.
• My 3rd day of work my boss told me "Everyday is a final exam here."⁴ If that is how you handle final exams do you really think you can go through life living with that kind of stress without developing some form of addiction to cope with it? No? I didn't think so either.

And if those helpful tips don't work to calm you down, well, come find me and I'll hook you up with some Adderall to help you study and my old Xanax Rx to calm you down.

¹ I still totally kicked my tax exams ass by the way. Employment Discrimination, on the other hand, I am not too sure about.^5
2 I had panic attacks while in undergrad and a lot of the classic signs were there (hyperventilating, grasping chest, etc.), however, he also fell to the floor and flailed around like a dying fish...So being that I'm not a doctor⁶ I don't feel qualified to diagnose what exactly occurred.
³ Yes, I did smoke a cigarette again yesterday...But even non-smokers smoke during law school exam season so I think I'm allowed to.
⁴ I'm not exactly sure I agree with that but it's something to think about.
⁵ I love footnotes (And my new found ability to use them)!
⁶ Yes, I know I just stated in a footnote that I'm not a doctor and that I do not give medical advice right after I offered medical advice in my post. It's not like anyone coming here actually expects me to be logical.