Rough Chronology of my Employment Discrimination Exam

8:05 Leave the House.

8:06-8:30 Rock Out to Exam Mix CD and skim outline at traffic lights.

8:31 Stop at Starbucks for a Water, Cheese Danish, and Grande White Mocha.

8:32-8:45 Read Outline while waiting for White Mocha.

8:46 Immediately regret the decision to not get a Venti.

8:47 Check the Traffic Report and realize there is an accident on the highway you take to school. Get annoyed as part of natural reaction, then realize the stopped traffic will provide an opportunity to study and that you have plenty of time. Resume Rocking Out and Studying while driving.

8:50 Eat Cheese Danish.

9:05 Immediately regret the decision to eat the entire Cheese Danish.

9:15 Try to park in lot right in front of school and even though it's empty for some reason it says "FULL." Get annoyed and go park in the garage across the street.

9:20 Finish Rocking out, grab books out of trunk that have been in there for at least the last 2 months without being removed. Feel relieved that they're there as you didn't even bother to make sure they were there.

9:23 Bum a cigarette and smoke it. Feel good that you didn't buy a pack and realize that even though you haven't smoked in awhile you're allowed setbacks now and again.

9:27 Walk into exam room, 3 minutes early I might add. Set Pink Mechanical Pencil, Pink Pen, Water, and White Mocha on desk. Decide to leave Pink Scarf on since the room is freezing.

9:28 Proctor hands out exam, he actually doesn't look like he was pulled off the street.

9:29 Fill out Exam card

9:30 Begin Exam, write exam number on every page and read the instructions, procrastinate starting the exam.

9:35 Begin 30 Question Multiple Choice Section.

9:45 ADD takes hold and you feel the need to stand up, use closing the doors to the room as an excuse to move around a bit without looking like a weirdo.

9:46 Resume Multiple Choice Section.

9:48 Consider just filling all the bubbles with "C" and making an escape.

9:55 Start nodding off. Maybe you shouldn't have talked to people online until 2 a.m. when you knew you had to be up early for this exam.

9:58 Continue nodding off.

10:01 Realize you'd be better off if you were refreshed for the exam. Put your head down.

10:08 Get back to the multiple choice.

10:15 ADD is firmly taking hold again. Get up and go to the bathroom this time.

10:17 Wash hands, check out hair in the mirror, apply lip gloss.

10:18 Resume Multiple Choice, the end is in sight.

10:28 Finish Multiple Choice Section, consider checking over answers but then realize your first impression is usually right-or so you've heard-better leave those answers alone.

10:30 Begin 40 Question True/False Section. Read instructions, find out we have to write why an answer is false if we choose false. Interesting. Ok.

10:40 Take a break and drink your coffee. Damn, waited a bit too long, it's a little too cold. Better put your exam across your desk and close it so you don't spill on it.

10:50 Resume True/False Section.

11:12 Finish True/False Section.

11:13 Consider checking over answers, again decide it's not in your best interest.

11:14 Hand exam to proctor and offer him some cough drops you have in your bag since he's coughing.

11:15 Pack up stuff and realize you finished the exam 75 minutes early...Score, time to slack off, and write a blog post before starting to study for tax.