Sunday, April 29, 2007

"If I could escape..."

Earlier today I broke a vase. It wasn't some heirloom or anything important. It was just a foot tall, 4'' square, clear glass vase. The flowers that came it in were of the "congratulations on being done with law school classes" variety. I had intended to plant bamboo in it. Thinking it would be a nice reminder of getting the flowers as well as my "accomplishment." I washed it out and went to dry it, at which point it tipped over and shattered.

Normally I'd just shrug, clean up the glass and that would be it. But not today. Not while I'm all hormonal; stressed with finals; terrified of bar study, unemployment, and student loan payments. First the tears welled up, then for whatever reason, I started sobbing. The entire thing was such a metaphor for my entire law school career. Just because you have the best of intentions doesn't mean it's not going to come crashing down on you in some bizarre way you never expected and shatter you into 1000 pieces.

Being that I was upset I decided that taking care of my barloan paperwork (since I've been procrastinating on that in avoidance of "making it all real") would be a better idea than trying to study or work on the 5-Day Take Home from Hell. Long story short, I'm rather sure my identity has been stolen. I was going through a lender I've never so much as tried to use-yet they have my social security number as already in use. Then I tried to have my username and password sent to me, which required I enter my email address. I entered every email address I've ever used and none were recognized. Of course I can't do anything about this until tomorrow morning, as if I'll get anything done between now and then.

The thing is, I can't imagine what idiot would ever want to be me. If someone really wants to deal with working nearly full time; taking 5 classes; spending 2 hours a day communting; coping with grandparents who have Alzheimers, Lung Cancer, and M.S.; finals; BarBri; PMBR; barloans; student loans and whatever else might come up all while attempting to have perfect hair and making sure their T-Zone doesn't get oily they can. I just hope they realize my credit wasn't that great to begin with so the joke is on them.

-------------------------------------------------------

I would but first of all let me say,
I must apologize for acting, stinking, treating you this way,
Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor,
It's your fault you didn't shut the refridgerator,
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold.

3 comments:

Another Asian Law Student said...

feel better.

Spicy Law Girl said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel - it just takes that ONE THING. Good luck and feel better.

If it's any consolation, I love your blog!

king of keego howie said...

Oh shutup. You broke the fucking lamp. Or vase or whatever the hell it was. Big deal. Stop whining.