Monday, June 18, 2007


I haven't broken down crying yet over this whole bar mess. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a major crier. In fact for the most part I've always found people (generally girls) who cry over every little thing extremely annoying. As a result, even if I do cry I make every effort not to do so in front of people. Yet, as most females can tell you, no matter how level headed you are, there is a time of the month where just about any little thing can cause you to break down; and while you might be aware that it's ridiculous, you cannot really stop it.

I cried twice in the office at Bill, More and Hours and I swore I'd never cry at work again after the first. The next time I did was the day [Hours] finally pushed me so far I refused to work for him anymore. This isn't to say I didn't cry, but I made sure to do so in the privacy of my own home and not anywhere that anyone could see or hear me. Even if I am emotional I generally just refuse to let people (read: men I work with) think I'm some over-emotional woman, I've heard them talk about "those" attorneys and it's just not what I want to be.

I think we've reached the point in the post where I'm clearly rambling. To get to the point, occasionally, if you really insist on being someone who won't cry in front of others; and you know what time of the month is right around the corner, and you know you're stressed, and your score dropped on your Criminal Law PMBR questions, and you know that you can snap at any time; then you have to be proactive. Which is why I'm watching Steel Magnolias tonight, there is nothing surer to make me cry and once I get it out of my system I'll be alright for roughly another month.

UPDATE: Operation Steel Magnolias failed. We're in unchartered waters here people. I can only assume that all this strain has made me emotionally numb. So we're back to square one, with me worried that I'm going to end up crying in public.


some guy said...

I know the feeling, sort of. I'm not about to cry but I feel like breaking something every time I do a set of problems and my score drops, which happens pretty much every day. I'm getting dumber. It's not good.

Another Asian Law Student said...

reading your posts really makes me not want to be studying for the bar in a year.

The Gare Bear said...

So what's wrong with a legitimate cry -- private or public? Life is terrifically frustrating at times. Sometimes it just gets overwhelming.

Just a thought -- what do you do for exercise (besides sex)? Doing marathons or triathalons or hiking up tall mountains can help you a) stay in physical shape, b) blow off steam and stay in mental shape, and c) help you get away from it all and focus better when you get back to studying or whatever again. Do something where you have to focus all of you on the exercise at hand -- at least you'll forget about your problems for a while.