Dear Guy on the Treadmill Next to Me,

When you see I'm pouring sweat and have a heartrate of about 170 it's kind of annoying for you to get on and start running at what most people would consider a sprint and barely break a sweat.

Hugs and Kisses,
Elle Woods

Dry Cleaners, Part II

I have been frequenting the same dry cleaners since this post (the more expensive one). They have been pretty good, except one time they didn't have one of my suits ready on time because it wasn't pressed.

All in all, I was happy. Until I went in yesterday to pick up the suits I dropped off on Friday. And there was a handwritten sign on the counter.

"Unfortunately, we are unable to accept clothes with bodily fluids on them."

My immediate reaction: Is that a really common issue?

High School Aged Male Dry Cleaners Employee: You have no idea. It happened twice today.

My Next Thought: People admit to it?

HSAMDCE: Ohh Yeah. Luckily, state law prohibits us taking them.

My Final Thought: I need a new dry cleaners.

Awkwardness of the Day

My client blanantly hitting on me. Even in front of my boss. To the point that my boss had to tell him I am unavailable.

"Now it's up the stairs, And out of view, no prying eyes."

Recently I heard a song for the first time. A country song. By an American Idol alum. Sure I might be a bit behind the forefront when it comes to Country Music and American Idol. Both of which I generally pride myself of not being fond of, but with lyrics like

Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot Whiskey; and
Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke.

How can you not love it? I never thought the day would come when I'd be singing along with Carrie Underwood nonstop.

It's right up there right now with the Bettie Serveert version of "Lover I Don't Have to Love", which I also have a tendency to sing along with in my office.

Stressed

I have a feeling this week is going to be hectic. I feel extremely guilty about not working all weekend. I'm also out of vodka and wine. Which means, around 8 I had a carb breakdown; pasta, homemade marinara and of course, cheese. I justified it by eating whole wheat pasta, but I'm not sure it makes much difference.

Happy Saturday.

There are very few things that get me excited to leave the house before 10 a.m. on a weekend, shopping, a Michigan Football game, and a Spa Day is an exhaustive list.

Today I'm having a Facial, getting my hair cut and colored, and having a manicure and pedicure.

Battle of the Sexes

One of the most frustrating parts of my job is the treatment I get from other attorneys. Namely, male attorneys. I have decided the methodology of this treatment has many facets, such as:

1. I am a female;
2. I am young, as evidenced by my Bar Number;
3. I sound even younger than I really am, at first they usually give me the old "you aren't the attorney, are you?";
4. The field I am in lends itself to emotion, which leads male attorneys to generally try to push the buttons of female attorneys;
5. I'm not likely to tolerate bullshit;
6. I know the Court Rules, which many of them do not and have told more than one to "read the Court Rules and call me back" when they are trying to get away with improper service, etc.; and
   
7. I am female.
   

Generally, after a couple conversations the condescending tone dissipates. Then there are the assholes, who continually attempt, in vain, to get a rise out of me.

I have been dealing with a particularly egregious asshole a lot recently. Basically our conversations consist of him yelling at me, me listening and telling him I cannot agree to whatever it is he is yelling about that day, then him yelling more and telling me we'd get a lot further if not for my "tone", and finally me making a snarky comment and ending the conversation.

While for the most part it's not a huge issue, I will say it gets tiring to continually be challenged, clearly because of my age and sex. I know some people will say that is not why, but miraculously when my boss talks to them everything is handled quickly and without harassment.

I'd like to say it will get better as I get older and more well known. But based on how the vast majority of older female attorneys act in my field, and how jaded they seem, I feel it will be an ongoing battle until I've proven myself to be "one of the guys", which could be years.

"Cat People Should Marry Cat People and Dog People Should Marry Dog People."

I realize things are very bland around here. So I've decided to venture into rarely chartered waters, and blog about my social life. I've been having issues with the men in my life. Saying men makes it seem like there is a plethora. There is not, it's just two men.

The first, we shall call "Cat Guy", I believe he has been mentioned briefly here before. I've dated him on and off since before I graduated. According to a friend, he is clearly my boyfriend. I, however, hate that word and prefer to call him something along the lines of my special male friend. He's is very sweet, is an excellent cook, and sincerely dotes on me. The issue being, he has cats. Cats make my eyes want to fall out of my head and make it nearly impossible to breathe. I guess my biggest issue with regard to him is finding a suitable allergy medication.

The second, we shall call "The Asshole", I've known him since I was 5 years old. We have always been friends, but one day, while I was "off" with "Cat Guy", we made out. I made it clear that I thought it was a bad idea, and that it shouldn't happen anymore. Everything seemed fine, except when we started hanging out again. And he started being a "total dick face", pressuring me to make out again, making me feel bad, etc. When I resisted, and subsequently left, I got ridiculous voicemails saying that my life was "borderline pathetic" and other nice things like that. I honestly don't know how to handle the situation, since as much as I'd like to just write him off, I have known him for a really long time and I'll have to see him at events with mutual friends.

So, I'm not really sure there are solutions to either of these issues. Maybe I just want validation for not talking to "The Asshole" anymore. Or a recommendation for an allergy medication.