Tanning Bed Story

This morning I once again forgot my parking card (I switched purses and I still have to yet to take it out of the one I was previously using) , so, again I had to stop and make an ATM and purchase something so I'd have change. Today I purchased a pack of Citrus Mint Orbit Gum (It's seriously delicious).

As a result of my love for this gum I've been chewing it compulsively, and as I popped in a piece after my cigarette break in Constitutional Law II I noticed the rate as which I'd been chewing it and was reminded of a girl I knew back in undergrad. One night when I hung out with her she bought a pack of Bubble Gum and proceeded to chew all 6 pieces compulsively, explaining that if she has gum she cannot control herself and she HAD to chew it immediately; plus, she would only chew it when it still had really strong flavor.

We'll call her "Carly*," I met her in my German 2 class and always thought she was extraordinarily annoying. She was in the business school (read: She was taking the class for fun instead of to fulfill her language requirement) she was also what I have come to call a "gunner," but in the days before Law School I hadn't ever heard the term. My "special male friend" and I used to make fun of her mercilessly. When the class ended I was extremely happy because I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with her again...I was wrong.

That semester they introduced a special 8 credit course which combined German 3 and 4. I was so sick of the stupid language by that point in time that the special male friend and I decided to take it simply to be done with our language requirement. Carly, decided to take it because intensive german sounded fun to her.

Now, if you've never taken an 8 credit class, you wouldn't know how horrible an idea it is. Let me tell you, even if you LOVE the subject matter it's a lot to deal with. The workload for this class was actually lighter then I expected and it was still too much, even for those students, like Carly, who enjoyed the subject matter.

Midway through the semester Carly shed her gunner ways, started slacking, and we became fast friends. My special male friend had always predicted she was wild**, but I never believed it.

One Monday Carly came in looking particularly hungover and started unloading about how crazy her weekend had been. It was the first time she'd ever done so (it was usually me talking about drinking and doing stupid things that I undoubtedly regretted later). The conversation that ensued went something like this:

Carly: I think I'm still hungover from Saturday, I got so wasted at this Pub Crawl back at home.

Elle Woods: (Interested) Ohh yeah, how'd that go?

Carly: Well, we went to like 6 bars, but I only remember the first 3 and then I do remember part of the after party. I went with this guy that I'm not really interested in...OHH MY GOD Elle, it was so bad.

Elle Woods: (Really Interested) WHAT HAPPENED?

Carly: (Details drinking a ton of alcohol for a girl her size)

Elle Woods: So, what's so bad?

Carly: Well, so after the Pub Crawl we all decided we wanted to party more and my date owns a gym so he invited us all to go back there since they're a sauna, hot tub, and he keeps a fully stocked bar in his office.

Elle Woods: So what happened?

Carly: So, I was WASTED and I ended up having sex with him.

Elle Woods: That isn't SO bad, who hasn't used bad judgment when they were drunk before?

Carly: I had sex with him on the tanning bed at the gym, I don't even remember it. I woke up Sunday morning in the tanning bed, REALLY sunburned*** and naked. In the morning he told me I propositioned him and then after we were finished I kicked him out and told him to turn on the tanning bed.

Elle Woods: Are you serious? (Holding back laughter)

Carly: Do you see how sunburned I am, do you think I would make this shit up?

Elle Woods: (Laughs histerically) Yeah, I guess you do have a point.

*Her name was really Carly.

**I really believed it after we took her to Canada for my friends 19th birthday and within 5 minutes of getting into the club she was GRINDING (we're not talking regular grinding people, we're talking straight up sex on the dance floor) with some european guy (she had a big thing for european guys in general-hence the german classes, I later found out that she also spoke french, spanish and italian fluently).

*** Which she was.