"Is This It?"

Here we go with yet another fun recap of a stellar day at Bill, More & Hours. My day went surprisingly well being that today was my first day back in the office while the Partner I work for was there since I left in November. Well, everything went ok except for being getting stuck there until 6:30 (when I got there at 7:30) correcting what could have amounted to his malpractice...But let's not go there because I'm still a bit cranky about that and I'm rather sure it's not a topic I should be blogging on at all anyway. Despite being pissed about my day I do have to say it went rather well in comparison to the Associates who was demeaned in front of me multiple times today.

Anyway, within a couple days at work, given the name I've chosen for the Firm it should be pretty clear what I realized the focus was on...For those of you who don't get it and who have no idea what the focus is in essentially all law firms-it's ALL about billing. Being that it's all about billing I realized quickly that not knowing how to bill properly (read: stretch your time, break down things so you can bill more, and being explicit when you do bill so the client understands) is very important. In fact, there is no more surefire way to piss off a partner and be humiliated, let alone a named partner then to fuck up your billing more then once.

Unfortunately for [ASSociate] he hasn't figured that out despite having been at the firm for about a month and 1/2 now. Said associate is the one my boss hired while I was out sick. I met him last week and thought he was kinda weird, but today I realized it was more either best case scenario he's extremely stressed, or worst case scenario he's incompetent.

First thing this morning my boss, [Hours] called me into his office while [ASSociate] was in there and told me to explain to him the stages of a case and the evolution of a case. I did what I was asked despite knowing that it was probably humiliating to the associate. My boss then proceed to ask said associate why a clerk had read the memo on handling a case and understood it when I wasn't even asked to and he hadn't. Clearly, he didn't have an answer.

Then [Hours] proceeded to tell me to sit down while he went over [ASSociate's] time sheet. Essentially he yelled at him for not having fixed mistakes while I sat there and listened, terrified to defy [Hours] and leave, yet knowing my presence was creating a whole different level of humiliation for the young associate.

The harassment about the time sheets continued and [ASSociate] was "gently reminded" (read: screamed at) that [Hours] had already been through this with him and that he better not have to do it again. After a few more question regarding files that [ASSociate] couldn't answer [Hours told him "Just fucking fix it, I'm sick of this shit." I was in shock. Had my presence just been used to demean the associate more? Was [Hours] trying to scare me? I've never been talked to the way that [ASSociate] was and I was really in shock that anyone was treated that badly. I'd never even heard [Hours] swear, let alone have it directed at me. I kept trying to give the associate reassuring smiles but I don't think much I could have done would have mattered at all. Sadly for the associate, this humiliation is not where it stopped.

Later in the afternoon as [Hours] and I were dealing with his crisis [ASSociate] came in again. He handed [Hours] his time sheet again. [Hours] looked at it for about 10 seconds, threw it on the floor, and the screaming began.

[Hours]: I already fucking told you to fix this! Why am I dealing with this? This isn't rocket science! Fix it or your fired, it's that simple!
[ASSociate]: (meekly) I'm sorry, I promise it won't happen again.
([Hours] rolls his eyes and takes a call from a client. ASSociate lowers his head and picks up his time sheet, I want to cry for him. [Hours] schedules a meeting for ASSociate, promptly uses meeting to berate him again.)
[Hours]: Come look at this! This is how you enter a meeting in the computer! The ones you set up I have no idea who it's with, where I'm going, what it's regarding! Fucking fix it! Just fix it! Now, what did you come in here for?
[ASSociate]: (Literally looks like he's about to cry as I throw him a sympathic smile) I wanted to know what you wanted me to do about this Motion we got from the plaintiff?
[Hours]: Fucking fix it, I do not want to have to deal with this. Give them the stuff they're requesting...JUST FUCKING MAKE IT GO AWAY!
([ASSociate] leaves, looking confused and discouraged. At this point I realize he has no idea how to make it go away and I ask [Hours] for a second, follow him out to his office and tell him I'll come help him when I'm done with [Hours'] crisis. The look of relief on his face makes me realize he's about to breakdown and that he's completely overwhelmed and lost but my gesture might be enough to get him through the day.)

[Hours] Proceeded to ask me if I went out there to comfort [ASSociate]. I told him I'd offered to show him what he need to do and how to do it since it was clear he didn't have a clue. [Hours] then told me I'm a lot nicer then he is and that if I want to waste my time I can. I know my gesture wasn't much, and most likely this associate has no future at the firm since he just doesn't seem to be getting it, but I just could not stand to have him think I watched all that happen to him today and that I wasn't going to reach out at all. I've always believed simple things like that are what get people through things like what he experienced today, and I don't want to be the type of person who won't stop to help someone because I could be billing hours.

Isn't firm life glamorous?

In a topic completely unrelated to the rest of this post I feel the need to point out that the spot where I got an antibiotic injection (when they thought I some weird bacterial thing or mono so my doctor and mother forced what turned out to be unnecessary antibiotics on me) on or around November 14th is STILL swollen, hot and itching. Additionally the injection site getting hard lump under it...In other words, it really seems like something not right at all is going on. Thanks Guys, introducing unnecessary antibodies to the system always goes well.