Out of the Closet

I finally showed my parents the blog this weekend. My mom thought I was hilarious (mostly as a result of me ripping on my dad and this post), and realized what "artistic license" is (not shocking since she was an english major), my dad told me I was embellishing-but funny-because apparently the dryer was what was originally what he was trying to fix earlier. Sorry I didn't get all the details right dad. By far the best part of the response was when we were all talking and my dad was like:

Shhh! We're going to end up on the blog-o-sphere!

Granted he got the word wrong but I was impressed he was even close.

And while we're on the subject of just how real are things around here, lets sit down, sign kumbaya and talk for a second. When I started this blog I had NO idea it would become as popular as it has. My writing was horrid in the beginning-hell, I still don't check for grammar-and let's face it, boring. I did the whole "Legally Blonde" thing as a satire, even though I am rather prissy I never really took it seriously or expected others to. I mean, come on, have you seen how much I swear around here-not very Elle Woods like. So without further ado, I'm going to answer some questions-which I wrote-that I think will shed light on this whole situation.

1. Is everything posted here exact reality? No, I'd be stupid to post everything exactly as it happens given how much I post about the firm.
2. Do I really look like Reese Witherspoon? No. I look a lot more like Drew Barrymore according to the guys who I used to work with.
3. Am I really blonde? Yes (ok, I do have some chemical assitance to reach my desired color).
4. Am I cute? Yes, painfully-in fact I hate being the "cute" girl. As a result of my cheeks I will never be "gorgeous" but really, cute isn't that bad when you consider the opinions¹. But I do have pretty blue eyes and a great smile working in my favor.
5. Am I still a prissy girl who enjoys manicures, pedicures, shoes, cute outfits and all that jazz? Yes.
6. Do I have some "junk in the trunk"? Yes, I was a dancer growing up and now I sit on my ass most of the day, of course I have junk in the trunk.
7. Are my thighs as slim as I'd like them to be? No.
8. Can I walk in 5'' heels while drunk and not fall down? Hell yes I can.
9. Do I live up to expectations? Probably not. But I'm a law student with a blog people, let's be serious for a second about how hott I could really be. Odds are I'm not going to look like Paris Hilton.
10. Do I still give amazing blowjobs? Yes, Yes I do. (This one was included so the list would have 10, but I'm not denying the level of truthfulness)².

¹The boyfriend told me I had to add that I was gorgeous, but I told him he's biased.
²To all my law school friends who read this: clearly, this is a joke.