Sigh.

Job search is not going well. It is looking like I will end up working at this place.


Lets hope they are hiring. I assume their benefits include free chinese, being that they advertise Chop Suey, Shrimp Fried Rice and Egg Rolls in the window.

I Make This Look Easy

Still in the Blog Playoff. It's kinda exhausting to "attempt to be interesting" on a regular basis. Ideas for posts would be welcome assistance (unless they suck), because I'm getting to the point where I might post pictures of my shower, which has gotten a little crowded (in a good way) ever since Lush moved to town.

Gratuitious Post About Leonardo DiCaprio

Lately I've spent a lot of time pondering a very important question. When did Leonardo DiCaprio get hot?

Exhibit A:

Hott.

Best I can figure, based on my scientific analysis of his imdb profile, the phenomenon took somewhere between Titanic and Gangs of New York. Before Catch Me if You Can the only movies I could even stomach him in were What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Basketball Diaries, and Romeo and Juliet. The first two I attribute to the fact that he wasn't being passed off as a sex symbol, the latter I attribute to my love of Claire Danes. Them suddenly during Catch Me if You Can I found myself saying, "wow this is a really long movie and I don't hate Leo." My best guess is that he finally went through puberty, but I'm wondering if I'm the only person who used to think he was ugly and whiney but in recent years has found him to be not only sexy but kinda a good actor.

Dear Penelope,

Nice Couture. Too bad I liked it better the first time I saw it. In 2004.

Hugs and Kisses,

Elle Woods and Every Other Sex and the City Viewer.

In Case There Is Any Confusion...

It is not acceptable to yell across the Blockbuster.

Which means is it also not acceptable to do so repeatedly about the same movie since the other party cannot hear you.

And if you want to really piss me off, you will proceed to call your wife/girlfriend/special lady friend "deaf" and make fun of her for not being able to fully hear your rudeness.

Walk your ass across the store, or go through the store together. Hell, calling her on her cell phone (since I'm sure you both have free weekends) would be a better option then screaming (and annoying me).

"That's impossible, Rhonda. How can you sleep when you're high on crack? Chinese riddle for you."

I decided to do an accounting of my crackhead (and alcoholic) Uncle's activities-that I am aware of-in the last week or so. Because really, what is the point of having a crackhead uncle if you can't write about it?

1. Came over a few days ago to drink beer and stayed even after my grandparents went to bed (at 10:00 p.m.)-the traditional queue to leave.
2. Was talking extremely fast, mumbling, and continually disappeared.
   
3. Stole a bottle of white wine from our house.
4. Stole a bottle of rum from our house.
5. Poured a ton off the vodka bottle, since he knows better than to take that.
6. "Replaced" the rum bottle in the liquor cabinet with a random empty red wine bottle which he apparently brought to the house since nobody here recognizes the type of wine.
7. Ate my leftover chinese.
   
8. Wandered around the basement and presumably took other stuff.
9. Came back and let himself, his girlfriend and her friend in at 3:00 a.m. (waking up my grandparents), to look for his leather jacket. He couldn't remember if he had left it here or at the "place" crackhouse in a shady area he'd been at previously.
10. Said jacket was not here, so presumably he was too high to realize it was effing cold and he needed a jacket or he sold it for crack.
    
11. Presumably drank more beer.
12. Called me last night at 1:00 a.m. to let me know he was coming over since he was "hungry"-he didn't want to scare anyone coming over that late so he called ahead (this time).
13. Woke up my grandparents again, and prompted my grandma to make him something to eat.
    
14. Finished the vodka and kahlua, both bottles were 1/2 full.
15. Took the leftovers from the (delicious) dinner my boss bought me while I was working late Friday.
    
16. Stayed until 3:00 a.m., at which point my grandma told him they needed to go back to bed.
    

Sexy Sunday #15

Housekeeping: I couldn't get the old template exactly how I wanted it, so since I'm a control freak and have been wanting to try green out for awhile. Which means we're all going to be excited that I changed it up and "designed" it myself. Additionally, I appear to be in the equivalent of the NIT Bracket in a blog playoff.

What can I say? Brando's a classic.

9 Commandments of Dating [Me]

1. Thou shall not smother me. If I have to send you a text message asking you to text me less before we even go out, it's probably not going to work.
2. Thou shall be gentlemanly. I'm not asking that you open car doors for me, but opening restaurants doors is nice. Yes, I view the 2 to be very different. Walking out of your way to open a car door is unnecessary, holding open a door you're going to have to open anyway is nice.
3. Thou shall be polite. Treating people who are waiting on you poorly-even if the service is poor isn't going to impress me-it's going to make me think you can't handle the situation without demeaning people, which I will not be in awe of.
4. Thou shall keep bodily functions to yourself. It's no secret that most guys want to believe that girls don't poop, and that's fine-we're happy to continue that myth. But let's even the playing field-no farting or talking about your poop in front of me, that's something my brother does, not something I want a boyfriend doing.
   
5. Thou shall take me to sporting events. I respect the whole "guys night out" thing-but don't think that you can always take your guy friends to sporting events. I can hold my own at a Football, Basketball, or Baseball game and I expect you'll occasionally take me over your buddy. Unless it's a Hockey game, I've never been and I can't say I'm that into the concept of going.
   
6. Thou shall respect my schedule. I let you have your poker nights, and sports nights with the guys so don't get mad at me when I have to work late. Or I want to hang out with my friends. Or see my family.
   
7. Thou shall at least make an attempt to get along with my friends. A lot of my friends have been in my life for 8 years, the rest for more than 6. Don't expect that I'm going to continue dating them if you can't get along with them on occasion, they're fun easy going people-so if you don't get along with them it makes me think there is something wrong with you.
   
8. Thou shall understand I have male friends. More than 50% of my friends are guys. Deal with it. I am not about to have sex with any of them, they were around before you and they will most likely be around after so deal with the fact that I hang out with them and go to dinner with them but that is it.
9. Thou shall understand I get moody. I am busy, I barely sleep and I guarantee I will pick stupid rights with you. If you're a nice guy you will get that it's temporary and everything will blow over.
   

Some might say I'm demanding. I say I have 1 less than god.

House Keeping

1. Someone stole the tire cover off my car. I wasn't even downtown when it occurred, which would have seemed the most likely place for that to transpire.
   
2. Clearly the old template is back. I couldn't stand having the same one as everyone else anymore. I think I got all the links that people had recently requested I add but I'm not sure, if I didn't email me.
3. The Anna Nicole judge gave custody of the body to the infant who had waived custody of the body from what I gathered.
   

Believe The Hype.

I did spend an afternoon (and evening) with Virgin and she managed to escape all Lily White and Pure still, at least I hope.

Actual E-Mail From my Law School.

We are pleased to announce that collaboration between the Law Library and the Law School has created a Tranquility Room to be used by students to attend to their special health care needs, as well as any other needs that can be deemed as personal and private.

Room [redacted] on the second floor of the Law Library has been designated for this purpose and will be accessible during the Law Library hours of operation. This room is free from windows and can provide for the greatest degree of privacy. The room will remain locked and can only be accessed by signing out the key from the Circulation Desk for a maximum of one hour per occurrence.

My First Thought: Ohh, so the law school has a sex room now.

"I Ain't Sayin' She's a Golddigger."

Watching the Anna Nicole Smith probate hearings is to Wills, Trusts and Estates as watching Law and Order is to Criminal Law, Criminal Procedure and Evidence. Meaning it is my equivalent of studying.

I Hate Naming Posts

I'd really like the meet the genius who made the standard snooze button 9 minutes. I picture a bunch of guys sitting around a board room discussing this new revolutionary feature they're going to introduce, a delay on your alarm. Most people would then pick a nice even time frame. 5 minutes clearly isn't a snooze, 15 would make you late-something around 10 would be perfect. But wait, we don't want to actually make it 10, that wouldn't make sense, and we all know 9 minutes is really a "snooze."

I clearly need a new alarm clock, I used to have the kind where the snooze shortened each time. Which also didn't work for me since I'm a compulsive snoozer and it just got annoying. I'm thinking about getting the kind with the adjustable snooze, but they all seem to have the "projection feature" which I'm not crazy about since knowing the outside temperature it not often inspiration to get out of bed around here.

"If It Wasn't For Date Rape I'd Never Get Laid."

As I've been updating my iPod I'm realizing some of the songs on it I could never listen to at work. Which made me wonder if there is some kind of statute of limitations on listening to certain, shall we say, explicit songs; and if there is a statute of limitations when does it run? I think we can all agree there is nothing cool about a 50 year old listening to Date Rape by Sublime.

Sexy Sunday #14

More Six Feet Under goodness, Peter Fancinelli who also happens to be the husband of Jenny Jennie Garth.

Toxic.

Sigh. It's been a long rough road from here.

Not that I can really say anything, since I sported a similar look as a pissed off adolescent, however, that is exactly the point. I was a rebellious tween, you're a soon to be twice divorced mother of 2 in your mid-twenties. I get really sick of hearing about how you didn't have an adolescence and how you're doing it now. Grow up Peter Pan, you're a mother. Act like it.

Not to mention if you really don't want people touching you¹, taking pictures of you, and making a fuss over you maybe you should not do things like: check into rehab for 2 minutes, shave your head in full view of cameras, get random idiotic tats, show your C-Section scar, hang out with Paris Hilton, show your vag, try on strippers' fishnets/bikinis, or puke all over your car. Because really, it seems like you're begging for attention.

More pictures of Britney loosing her mind here.

¹As I'm sure you learned by now people just want to touch you more and rub your head when it's "styled" like that.

Live in [Southern] California Once.

I know I said I had a middle seat on my flights, however things worked out much better for me. The way there I had an entire row to myself and for my short flight home I also had an entire row to myself.

Unfortunately for me when I got to Hertz they were out of economy cars. So I had to cope with having one like this instead:

It was really difficult.

I also did all the touristy stuff and saw the Hollywood Hills, the Hollywood Sign, Scientology World Headquarters, Santa Monica Pier and Venice Beach.

Venice Beach

Chinese Theatre

The Hollywood Sign

View of the Hills from Mulholland Drive

Santa Monica

Santa Monica Pier

"Sweat Your Perm Out."

Vacation was excellent, I've decided I'm moving to Southern California. Maybe I'll post pictures when I get semi caught up on stuff.

Until then, entertain yourselves with Katt Williams HBO Stand Up The Pimp Chronicles-a little something my brother and his roommate introduced me to. Sure it's almost an hour worth of clips, but you're most likely a law student, so it's not like you have anything better to do. Language extremely NSFW, or anywhere else.

Part 1: Introduction
Part 2: Katt on Weed
Part 3: Katt on "Upward Mobility" and Racial Diversity
Part 4: Katt dancing-a dance which I taught an 18 year old Southerner how to do.
Part 5: Katt on Michael Jackson

"If we took a holiday, Took some time to celebrate, Just one day out of life, It would be, It would be so nice."

I'll be on vacation someplace much warmer than where I am right now until early next week. Try not to miss me too much.

PS-I just remembered to check in. Apparently, I am stuck with an middle seat. Mother F.

"[T]he initial de-flowering of the woman as the real harm."

Time magazine is running an article about states which have adopted the position that women are unable to retract their consent to intercourse, based largely on the theory that once a man is in the midst act he's incapable of stopping. I find the argument ridiculous and rather insulting to men as a whole.

Does this mean a woman can't withdraw consent if the condom breaks? Or would that change in circumstances "allow" her to change her mind? The article offers a hypothetical where a woman has learned her partner has HIV and wants to withdraw consent and her partner refuses to stop, is that rape if he continues, or "just" attempted murder if she becomes infected? In states which have adopted this position is the opposite also true? Once a woman has said no-as we all know some women do to play coy-can that lack of consent not be revoked? Is that rape when a man coaxes her into sex, which she agrees to even if she had previously said no?

The arguments in favor of consent not being retractable seem to equate being "blue balled" with forcible sex, which seems completely ludicrous to me.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

[Link].