I Am Too Tired to Name This Post.

So much has happened in the last 48 hours I can barely wrap my mind around it.

Thursday:
-My grandparents get a $1000 Mobil for the month of May. It was abundantly clear based on the locations, times of use, and repeated charges within a 5 minute span that my crackhead uncle had stolen my Grandpa's speedpass and had not only been using it to fill his tank (and most likely his girlfriends' tank), but was also most likely selling gas (a la Reality Bites). Yet, I my grandparents refused to acknowledge that he had, or even could have, stolen from them.
-Despite this, I was informed that the day earlier he had asked if he could move in on July 4th (since he is being evicted from his house). Apparently that is what happens when you don't pay your house payment. Who knew? It's worth noting that he had a year to cure, so he's known this was coming and didn't mention anything until a week before he had to move in, we all knew his house was owned by the bank, but we had no idea when/if that occurred or if he would be moving in. It's also worth noting here that he cannot move in with his girlfriend since she has supervised visitation, related to something which occurred at my uncle's house which the children witnessed-so he cannot be around them at all. Translation: her 5 year old twins saw him/them smoking crack.
-Of course my grandparents decided to let him move in. I know it's their son and all, but the reality is they have been supporting him for over 2 years now and he hasn't gotten better, he's gotten worse as addicts tend to do. At what point do you recognize what you are doing is not working and change the pattern?
-I inform them I will be moving out if he moves in since I am not going to watch that on a daily basis and I refuse to be a part of that much dysfunction. I get treated like I am being a drama queen as a result of this.
-As a result of realizing I need to move before July 4th I have roughly 87 panic attacks, cry for 2 hours, leave and go stay with a friend for the evening, eat Maggie Moo's Tiramisu Ice Cream for dinner, drink Mojito's and watch The O.C. while we gossip.
-I was virtually unable to fall asleep and got maybe 3 hours.

Friday:
-BarBri MBE 200 Question Practice Exam (which I scored well on, yay me!).
-Getting keys to the new place, the details of which my mom worked out for me during the day on Friday.

Saturday:
-Pack, move, and unpack in under 5 hours. Sure I have to go back after the bar and get a lot of my (winter) clothes I didn't bring, but it was nonetheless it was an impressive feat.

Just Kill Me Now.

My Contracts score dropped 20% (10 questions) after the lecture.

My basic response: "Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar. Oh. My. God. I am going to fail the Bar. I am going to fail the bar."

Random Thoughts since I'm Too A.D.D. to Create an Actual Post

1). I didn't do questions yesterday since it took me almost 2 hours to get home (it's a 10 minute drive). The road in front of my neighborhood was closed due to a downed power line. By the time I got home at 6:30 (and I was disgusting and sweaty after standing on asphalt for 2 hours) I decided it would be better to just relax.

2). My phone is finally fixed. I ended up fixing it myself (while on the phone with Verizon). The problem might have been related to issues I had with the daylight savings B.S. (which I forgot about), which ended with me just setting my computer clock to a different time zone. So it was probably user error, not that I admitted this to Verizon. In my defense the phone hadn't had the patch installed as the store was supposed to, so there were elements they did need to fix.

3). BarBri Mock MBE is tomorrow. I think I would rather put my hand on a hot stove than take it. I am kinda interested in whether how much my score goes down when the questions are mixed.

4). I still haven't done any essays. I'm not the only one by any stretch of the imagination, but it is starting to worry me a little. However, now that I'm done working I'll be able to focus more on stuff like that.

5). Sunday I went to lunch with a friend (who I have known since I was 5 years old) who has expressed an interest in dating me. I thought I might be interested, but after thinking for about 2.5 seconds about how he's treated girlfriends in the past, how he used to have a thing for my (hotter) best friend (who we've also known since kindergarten), and about his position in life regarding his feelings about himself; I decided it would be a bad idea (insert diatribe about ruining the friendship). Anyway, said friend complains about his weight. A lot. Yet when we went to lunch he ordered a Monte Cristo.

Far be it for me to judge eating habits and weight loss but something tells me eating a ham/turkey sandwich with cheese which uses 3 pieces of French Toast as the "bread" and is then batter dipped and fried, served a sugary sauce, coleslaw and fries is the way to go about it. I might not be a nutritionist, but all my pants all falling off me because of my "bar exam diet" and I would say that is not the way to go about weight loss.

I don't know why I felt compelled to share that story, but I did, mainly since I have been baffled by it since it occurred. Additionally, I am trying not to complain about things that are within my control that I do nothing to change (or take affirmative actions to make worse), and that story kinda epitomizes it.

I don't know what is worse

...The fact that I just spent my birthday at BarBri, taking PMBR questions, outlining and making flashcards (and I'm not yet finished) or the fact that I just realized I will be starting my period sometime during the bar exam (meaning I will be PMSing right before).

"The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'"

Alternate Title: "We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us."

Alternate-Alternate Title: "These days, when someone smokes in the movies, they're either a psychopath... or a European."
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There are various BarBri locations throughout the state. Only one of which is a live presentation. I chose to attend a locale with a video feed; since, well, it's way closer and I have to deal with fewer neurotic freaks I went to law school with (sadly I just deal with neurotic freaks other people went to law school with).

One girl gets the tapes fed-ex'ed to her nightly and she starts the tape (which has 10 minute breaks built in every 50-55 minutes). I've ran into her at the coffee shop nearly every morning, and recently she told me BarBri is paying her $1000 to start the tapes (in 2 rooms), her tone clearly conveyed that she realized it was a ridiculous amount of money for roughly 3 minutes of work all summer. The 2nd room is a basement room for the people who get there late.

Today she suggested to the class that we start fast forwarding the tape and only take 5 minute breaks. She then asked for input (at which point I objected) and then put the issue to vote (before 1/2 the class was there, read: all the smokers were still outside). Admittedly my objection was based on the fact that I like to smoke and pee during the breaks. I am an anomaly, in that I drink my 8 glasses of water a day (and then some-12 to be exact). Ergo, peeing is necessary. As for the smoking, I picked it back up a few weeks days into PMBR, I don't smoke for the rest of the day-but it's something which breaks up the hell that is BarBri lecture.

Predictably, the class didn't care that I like to smoke on the break and that I have to pee unless I'm going to start wearing depends to class, and therefore voted to start doing 5 minute breaks. (Note: I am not the only person who felt this way and smokes/pees on breaks, I was just the only person who was there when the vote was held).

So, after being late back into the room at the first break I decided I'd have to figure out some other way to handle the situation. My answer was to call BarBri and complain. In my complaint I acknowledged that I am a neurotic law student studying for the bar and that I realized there were more important things to complain about, but that I didn't think it was right to change the structure. The other room fast forwards, if people are truly rushed they can choose to sit in the crappy basement room. Luckily for me, the BarBri representative for my locale is a smoker. She assured me she would be speaking to the girl in charge of the tape that we are to stick to the 10 minute breaks.

In a world filled with anti-smoking discrimination it feels good to win once and awhile.

Dear Verizon,

I'm not even going to discuss what irony it is that all 3 of your technicians I have talked to today have been mouth breathers. This last one is particularly pleasant telling me I have the "cheapest PDA offered" and that "maybe PDAs are not for me."

Here's a thought, work out the glitch in your technology so I do not have to deal with daylight savings bullshit 3 months after it happened since I just happened to get a PDA. Sure I knew it was the cheapest one, but I also knew it was the smallest one and that it had more than enough functions for me so why would I pay more so I could have a touch screen which isn't important to me.

The only good part was getting to be a bitch to him (and therefore releasing some bar exam stress) and feel justified after he made that comment.

Hugs and Kisses,
Elle Woods

Semi-Shocked...

I haven't broken down crying yet over this whole bar mess. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a major crier. In fact for the most part I've always found people (generally girls) who cry over every little thing extremely annoying. As a result, even if I do cry I make every effort not to do so in front of people. Yet, as most females can tell you, no matter how level headed you are, there is a time of the month where just about any little thing can cause you to break down; and while you might be aware that it's ridiculous, you cannot really stop it.

I cried twice in the office at Bill, More and Hours and I swore I'd never cry at work again after the first. The next time I did was the day [Hours] finally pushed me so far I refused to work for him anymore. This isn't to say I didn't cry, but I made sure to do so in the privacy of my own home and not anywhere that anyone could see or hear me. Even if I am emotional I generally just refuse to let people (read: men I work with) think I'm some over-emotional woman, I've heard them talk about "those" attorneys and it's just not what I want to be.

I think we've reached the point in the post where I'm clearly rambling. To get to the point, occasionally, if you really insist on being someone who won't cry in front of others; and you know what time of the month is right around the corner, and you know you're stressed, and your score dropped on your Criminal Law PMBR questions, and you know that you can snap at any time; then you have to be proactive. Which is why I'm watching Steel Magnolias tonight, there is nothing surer to make me cry and once I get it out of my system I'll be alright for roughly another month.

UPDATE: Operation Steel Magnolias failed. We're in unchartered waters here people. I can only assume that all this strain has made me emotionally numb. So we're back to square one, with me worried that I'm going to end up crying in public.

How I Spent My Friday Night...

Outlining evidence, and making color coded flow charts for admissibility and spousal privileges as documented below.

Orange is for Federal results, Blue is for Michigan questions and results, Green is for when both Federal and Michigan end in the same result and Purple are the basic elements of the 2 spousal privileges...In case you were wondering, which I know you were.

Today I'm finishing outlining for evidence, adding a few categories to torts, finishing criminal procedure, starting my criminal law outlining, and hopefully catching up on the set of multistate questions I'm behind on. Kill.Me.Now.

New Favorite

I seriously LOVE this website. It should come as no shock at all that I was the Queen of Passive Aggressive notes in college, usually something along the lines of:

• "Please stop using my shampoo and conditioner, or alternatively buy something more expensive so I have something worthwhile to steal."
• "Please Turn off Stove. It wastes energy and it's a bit of a Fire Hazard. I learned this when flames shot out of the stove-top as I was walking by it the other day after it had been left on. It was very informative."
• "My friends seem to think we have a dog. Largely due to the fact that the stairs and bathroom floor are covered in hair. I don't do anything in the bathroom which causes me to lose hair and even if I did it wouldn't be brown/black hair coming from my head. I love cleaning the bathroom as much as the next person (probably more since I do it far more often) but I draw the line at other people's hair which is constantly wet because for whatever reason the bathroom floor always seems soaked with water. Additionally, please don't let the toilet paper touch the bathroom floor. It would be gross if there wasn't a hair problem, but with the hair issues it's just disgusting."
• "If you're going to shave your pubic hair in the shower please make sure it washes down. As much as I love it when I look down 1/2 way through my shower (when I can finally see) and realize that not only am I standing in a 2'' deep cess pool but that the cause is someone else's pubes which are also stuck to my feet, that is really just too much excitement for me to handle before I've had my coffee."
  

Ohh the good old days.

Why Verlander is my Tiger.

First no hitter in Comerica Park history.

Are. You. Even. Kidding.

Here's a rather confusing multistate example where all four answer choices are technically incorrect. However, my process of elimination alternative (D) is the 'best of the worst.'

Go to Hell PMBR Property Explanations. Go to Hell.

"Oh, yeah? Who knows more about extortion, me or you?"

I might have watched all of season 2 and a substantial portion of season 3 of The Sopranos this weekend while studying. In my defense, I did attempt to study outside first, but the glean off the pages hurt my eyes. Although that still doesn't excuse the fact that I was studying on a weekend in June to begin with.

I know posting has been sparse, but readers have been as well. Although that relationship could be likened to the chicken and the egg. Basically, if I posted more I'd come off even more "ohh woe is me, the Bar Exam is so evil, I'm so moody and bitchy and I totally deserve to be" than I already do...As if that's possible.

Hooked on a Feeling

I've actually been in a relatively good mood the last 3 days (despite having studied until at least 10pm every night to catch up), which at this point seems strange since on a general day during bar study I'm on the verge of committing a battery at any moment.

I've also gotten back to rigidly adhering to my schedule, which seems to help. When I get off my schedule (like I did last weekend), I get stressed, which in turn makes me cranky and bitchy, and then I get discouraged since I'm so far behind (relatively) that I don't want to do anything.

I'd like to say I'm finished for the night, but alas, I am not.

Sigh.

How sad is it when I'm pretty sure the highlight of my week will be tomorrow when my new "fancy"¹ glass digital scale arrives?

Spare me the lecture on shopping at Wal-Mart, I'm barely working (and therefore broke) and they had the cheapest ones and the largest selection of glass scales. You'll notice I was smart enough to just suck it up and pay the shipping rather than actually dare stepping foot inside a Wal-Mart. Largely since I'm rather sure doing so immediately lowers your IQ 5-10 points and I just can't take that kind of risk while I'm studying for the bar. Additionally, I'm rather sure if I did step foot into a Wal-Mart right now I'd end up committing some sort of intentional tort against an employee or a fellow shopper.

¹Which is relative here (obviously being that I bought it at Wal-Mart), since:

1. My current scale is my Mother's from before I was born (making it over 25 years old, probably closer to 30 years old)
2. My current scale varies about 5 pounds on any given day
3. I just do not think I can bring myself to stand on a Body-Fat calculating scale at this point in my life
   

Basic Gist of Typical Conversation in My Head

[Just completed grading my 50 PMBR property questions for the day].

Self Conscious Elle: My score did not go up.
Confident Elle: These are the first property ones you've done since PMBR 6 Day, it will be ok.
Self Conscious Elle: My score did not go up.
Confident Elle: You haven't done anything for property since PMBR 6 Day, it will be ok.
Self Conscious Elle: My score did not go up.
Confident Elle: These questions seemed a lot harder than the PMBR 6 Day ones, it will be ok.
Self Conscious Elle: My score did not go up.
Confident Elle: You're still scoring higher on property right now than most people do on the bar, despite it not being your best subject during law school, it will be ok.
Self Conscious Elle: My score did not go up.
Confident Elle: This is what you get for slacking on these Friday and then for the remainder of the weekend as well, you could have spent the weekend reviewing this stuff if you'd just sucked it up and done these Friday night when you got home from work.
Self Conscious Elle: I'm glad you're finally seeing it my way. Vodka and Soda with Lime perhaps while we read these explanatory answers, which most likely will not be any help at all since they will get it down the 2 answers you debated between and then say "___ is the better answer" with no further explanation?
Confident Elle: Why yes, that seems like an exquisite plan.
Self Conscious Elle: I cannot believe my score did not go up.
Confident Elle: At least you've been managing to use the correct grading key unlike some people.
Self Conscious Elle: Word.